#phasrey

Rey ordered herself and the woman another drink. Now that they were closer to each other, Rey could sense the way the force moved through her. It was something she had always been able to do, but after recent developments, she took more notice of it. There was something off about this woman. Through experience, Rey had learned that the force moves differently around a creature that intends to kill and her energy was similar to that. It was hard to put into words exactly what she felt, but the force seemed to move slowly, darkly through this woman. She seemed dangerous but Rey found she wasn’t frightened of her, not exactly.

To a person on the Light side of the force, darkness always has a seductive quality.

This woman didn’t possess the force. She was as blind and deaf to it as most people are, so Rey wasn’t scared of what this dark quality might mean.

Up close, Rey also noticed the scar on one half of the woman’s face. The skin was pink and new around her eye, maybe a burn of some sort. It had happened recently, but enough time had passed that it no longer needed to be bandaged. The scar didn’t fully disfigure her face. In fact, Rey thought the rough asymmetry almost suited her.

They hardly spoke at all at the bar. Rey placed her hand on the other woman’s leg, a proposition. The other woman downed the rest of her glass in one go and turned to her, accepting.

The rest of it was just logistics. Rey couldn’t take her back to the Resistance hideout, so they went to the woman’s ship. The alcohol in Rey’s blood gave her a slight haze, enough to make this fun but not enough to cloud her judgment. The sharp glint in the other woman’s eyes told Rey that the same was true for her. This was an impetuous decision, but they both knew exactly what they were getting into.

That first night was rough and fast. Kisses were broken with teeth. Hair was pulled. Mouths sucked and pulled on fragile skin. Fingernails left claw-marks on backs. It was loud and had a fierce edge to it, like both women were tearing into each other, not holding back for the first time in ages.  Rey came with the other woman’s mouth on her, a yell wrenching itself from her throat.

When it was over Rey sat up and tried to kiss her again, still breathing heavily and with a sheen of sweat all over. The other woman turned away and started to put her clothes back on. She tossed Rey’s clothes on the bed, telling her without words that she wanted Rey to leave. Rey supposed she should have accepted that quietly, gotten dressed and left but she found that she couldn’t. This was the first time she had ever done something like this and despite the nature of a hookup, it was special.

“That was good,” she said. Rey was still kneeling on the bed, lovely and bare. The other woman hardly acknowledged her. “Do you live around here?”

Rey realized this might be too personal, but had to learn something, anything about her. She stood and followed the other woman into the fresher where she was getting dressed. Rey took the open door as an invitation to continue their so far one-sided conversation. “Look,” Rey started. “I understand if this was a one-time thing, but I’m stuck on this planet for the time being and that was… really good.” She hoped she was leaning against the door frame in a way that looked sexy. “And I want to do this again sometime.” She tilted her chin up to seem confident and cock-sure before back-tracking a little. “If that’s possible and you want to of course.”

The other woman looked as though she had been caught with her pants down, which she had in a way. She was crouched down, putting on some clothes when Rey had entered and made her second proposition on the night. She stared at Rey first with shock, then anger, and then something Rey couldn’t read. It wouldn’t have surprised Rey too much if she found herself naked and outside the ship in the next few moments.

The woman stood and straightened herself with that cool, rigid bearing she had had at the bar. She stood almost a full head taller than Rey, but Rey refused to be intimidated.

“Alright,” she said. Rey tried to pretend that she hadn’t been very worried that the woman might refuse. “I stop by that cantina one night a week. You can meet me there next week.”

Rey said she would. Every logical part of her was telling her not to get too attached to this, to not put too much emotional weight on what they were doing here, but she couldn’t help but feel a thrill when she thought of their next encounter.

They met one week later and then the week after that. On the third night, the woman told Rey her name, Phasma. Rey told her it suited her.

She didn’t tell anyone in the Resistance where she went once a week. It was hard to sneak away completely with everyone living and working in such close quarters, but it wasn’t uncommon for people to want some time alone. Rey found it hardest not to tell Finn where she was going or that she was seeing someone. Though she supposed the Resistance was her family now, she was always going to have a special connection with Finn.

No one asked too many questions about where she went. No one was allowed to leave the base without permission. They were trying to keep a low profile on the planet. Most of them had bounties on their heads, like Rey, but none of them had the benefit of being able to use the force to defend themselves.

For the fourth week in a row, Rey pressed the door to her dormitory closed and tried to quietly slip past the outer limits of the Resistance base. The compound was a local school that had been abandoned years ago and they had been lucky to find it. There were several buildings close together, that the locals had forgotten about over a decade ago. No one ever came near them and it was a big enough facility to house the fifty or so members of the Resistance that would have been conspicuous anywhere else.

Most people were settling in for the evening after the sun had set. Rey hardly met anyone on her way. She just needed to slip past the patrol. The Resistance leaders, Leia and Poe mostly, had organized a rotation of guards to watch the perimeter of their new base. So far it seemed effective, there hadn’t been any problems involving people trying to get into the base. Then again, Rey had never had a hard time sneaking off of the base, so perhaps it wasn’t perfect.

The school was surrounded by forest on three sides and was connected to a road on the fourth. It wasn’t very difficult to slip off into the woods and emerge maybe a half mile later onto the road without anyone realizing.

Tonight, however, she was seen.

“Rey?” called out Finn. It was dark, but she knew his voice anywhere. Rey winced at being caught. In the dark, she could make out Finn’s shape and hear him jogging to catch up with her. She had almost made it to the woods. It must have been Finn’s turn for patrol tonight. “Where are you going?”

He asked her casually, but Rey felt like she was being interrogated. She had something to hide. “I’m just going for a walk, getting some fresh air.”

“You know we have to stay on the base,” said Finn. He sounded sympathetic.

“I can take care of myself out there. I’ll be fine.”

She couldn’t make out Finn’s expression, but she knew he was going to have a hard time letting her leave. “I know but… we shouldn’t risk being seen and you- you’re important. If you’re going into town, you shouldn’t go alone.”

“Are you offering to come with me?” Rey knew that he was. She blushed at the idea that he thought she was important. Most people would say that she was, but it was sweet coming from him. “You’re on patrol, you can’t just leave your post.”

“You could just go back to your dorm,” Finn wasn’t about to let Rey manipulate him so easily.

“You could just look the other way, while I go off for a few hours.”

“A few hours? Rey, you can’t-”

“I’ve done it before and it’s never been a problem.” Rey could sense the betrayal Finn felt. He hadn’t realized she’d been leaving the base in secret. She tried not to imagine the hurt in his eyes.

Finn sputtered for a moment before giving in. “Fine, go, but… maybe next time you could tell me first so that you don’t disappear one night and we never hear from you again. We have to look out for each other.”

Rey gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before heading off into the woods. It was sweet of him to want to protect her, but until very recently, Rey was used to looking out for herself. She didn’t need protection.

She made her way through the forest, along the road, and into town. The small main street was lit up in gold lights. The town was rural didn’t have much nightlife, but it was well-lit and cozy early in the evening. The cantina, a round building low to the ground, sat at the end of the main road.

It wasn’t hard to find Phasma in the small crowd of patrons. Even after living here for some time, she still kept to herself.

They had given up any pretense of trying to appear separate from each other to the other bar patrons somewhere within the last two weeks. No one in the bar seemed to care whether they were together or separate, two strangers or secret lovers. Rey liked being able to go right up to Phasma’s table in the corner and sit beside her, tucked under her arm. Last week, she had ordered Rey’s drink ahead of time and tonight too, there was one waiting for her on the table.

Phasma was wearing a soft, gray sleeveless shirt and dark pants with too many pockets. The muscles in Phasma’s arms showcased rather nicely without sleeves. Rey wasn’t sure if she’d ever complimented Phasma’s arms before, but they were definitely a turn on for her. She wondered if Phasma knew. More likely, it was a way to keep her arms free while she was working. Rey wasn’t exactly sure what Phasma did for work on this planet, but it was some sort of manual labor in the town’s tiny starport.

“How are you?” Rey asked as she sat down. To a certain extent, they had tried to keep things impersonal and uncomplicated, but that plan had deteriorated over time. Rey thought she might not be capable of a hookup with no emotion involved and seemed that Phasma might feel the same way. There was an undercurrent in their relationship, that nothing about this was really meant to last. Rey could accept that, she had to, but she had decided to let herself feel something for Phasma even if it was only temporary.

“Better now that you’re here,” said Phasma. “Did something keep you tonight?”

“Am I late?” Rey countered, rather than answering. They might have decided to become more familiar with each other, but that didn’t mean Rey was ready to divulge anything about the Resistance.

Phasma didn’t seem to mind her deflection. “Not at all.” Rey wondered if Phasma had sat here worried that Rey wasn’t going to come. “You’re here now, none of that matters.”

Rey smiled and took a sip of her drink. They probably could have given up the formality of meeting at the cantina first, going through a bit of foreplay before heading back to Phasma’s ship. She liked this though, how all of her problems disappeared when she pretended to be Rey, a girl who was traveling the galaxy and was stuck here until she could earn a few more credits. With Phasma she could pretend her life was so much simpler, with no cosmic battle between good and evil waiting for her in the future.

They didn’t know much about each other beyond personality still. None of her past seemed to matter when she was with Phasma. Rey got the sense that Phasma was running from something too, or at least, she kept her past just as well-hidden as Rey.

“Do you miss me when I’m not around?” Rey asked. She was starting to settle into a warm and dreamy haze. She was feeling bold tonight.

Phasma tilted her head down to her. Her blond bangs fell down over her scar. Rey wondered if she styled it that way on purpose, but maybe it was more of a subconscious attempt to hide it. Whenever it happened, Rey brushed it aside with her thumb. She thought Phasma was beautiful. Here too, Rey reached up to brush the hair away.

Phasma blinked at her for a moment afterward. “Despite everything,” she said, “I do.” She kissed Rey on the forehead. Clearly, Phasma was feeling gentle tonight.

Rey decided not to press her to find out what she meant by ‘despite everything’. It was enough just to know that Phasma wasn’t going to try to hide her affection for Rey. They were too far gone for that now. Why spend what little time they had together holding back?

“Should we get out of here?” Rey asked.

“Someone’s eager,” said Phasma, though she was already getting up and fishing credits out of her pocket.

They held hands as they walked to Phasma’s ship. The mad rush to tear each other’s clothes off wasn’t as strong tonight as it had been that first night, and they took their time underneath the quaint strings of lights that crisscrossed the main street. They could have been any two women. Rey could have been anyone in that moment, some girl falling in love.

Phasma led her by the hand up the shuttle ramp and into the cramped quarters she lived in. Rey had been here enough times not to need the patient escort but liked having Phasma’s hand in hers all the same. There wasn’t much to the ship besides a cabin, a fresher, and the cockpit. It was tight and neat, spartan despite Phasma having lived in it for at least a month. The space might have been cozy if it had been personalized in the least. It looked lived in, but it didn’t feel like a home.

Preemptively, Rey pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it on the floor. In moments like this and the quiet moments after, when the recycled air seemed warmer and their clothes and the sheets were tossed to the floor, then the ship started to feel like a home.

With the slightest pressure, Phasma shifted Rey down onto the bed, supporting her firmly with one hand on her shoulder. They kissed slowly, Rey fighting against gravity to reach Phasma’s lips. With blonde hair in both hands, she pulled Phasma down on top of her with a laugh.

“Still feeling eager I see,” Phasma murmured. The words came out in hot breaths between kisses.

Rey laugh. Phasma’s legs straddled hers. She was all but grinding up against her. “You’re one to talk.” She started to lift up the edges of Phasma’s shirt. Phasma realized what she was trying to do and took her bra off with it.

With a kiss, Phasma stepped back. “Wait here,” she said. “I have something I want to try tonight.”

She left Rey on the bed, wondering what Phasma had in mind. Her cheeks were already flushed.

Phasma came back with a device about a foot long, with a few buttons and a round head. The size of it was a bit intimidating, but Rey was intrigued.

“What is it?” asked Rey. And what do you want to do with it?

“It’s a vibrator,” she said carefully. It wasn’t like Phasma to be shy. “I’ve heard about women using them for this,” she started before trying a different tack. “I’ve used this one before but never with another person.” She put the vibrator into Rey’s hand. “I want you to use it on me.”

Rey studied it for a moment. She knew a great deal about mechanics, growing up as a scavenger. This long plastic sheath appeared to house a small motor which should move the softer rounded head on one end. She pressed one of the buttons to turn it on and it immediately started vibrating in her hands as expected.

She was slightly skeptical. “You want me to place this between your legs, and it will get you off?” Part of her didn’t want to be so crude about it, but she felt it was important to be blunt.

“Believe me, that will do the job.” Rey could see an eager glint in Phasma’s eye. She definitely wanted Rey to use this on her.

Still, she wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. Phasma laid down on the bed and spread her legs, for Rey to sit between them. It was a bit unusual for Phasma to take the bottom role so quickly. In the past, they would switch places, but Rey found herself in this position more than Phasma. The other woman loved indulging Rey, and while Rey enjoyed reciprocating, she was never going to say no to some special attention.

Phasma covered the head with what were essentially socks in order to soften the strength of the vibrations. “It can be painful if it touches my clit directly, but like this it’s perfect.”

“So I just…?” Rey placed the covered head between Phasma’s legs and looked up for confirmation. Phasma nodded with her eyes closed as if even this, without turning the thing on, was doing it for her.

Rey pressed the button to turn the vibrator on, constantly checking Phasma’s face to see if she was doing this right. The vibrator was noisy and constant. Rey didn’t think it sounded very sexually appealing at all, but as soon as it started, Phasma’s calm demeanor changed.

Phasma shifted her hips in order to get into a better position. The muscles in her legs tightened as though standing at attention. It took a moment and some gentle guiding through words and slight adjustments with Phasma’s hands but it soon seemed like Rey had found the right spot. Phasma’s hands fisted in the sheets, as though she was determined not to touch herself. She breathed in deeply as she relaxed into the waves of vibrations.

It wasn’t hard for Rey to feel turned on herself after seeing Phasma come undone like this. She smiled at every moan and every time Phasma’s breath hitched in her throat. Phasma showed Rey another button on the vibrator that caused the vibration to pulse. It hummed out a pattern buzz buzzbuzzbuzz buzz.

The pulses seemed stronger. Instantly, Phasma arched her back and let out an obscene sigh. It almost didn’t sound like her.

“You like that?” asked Rey, knowing the answer. She stroked one of Phasma’s open, bare thighs, up slowly and then down. The sensation was nothing like powerful vibrations, but it was the extra soft touch that sent a tremor through Phasma’s body.

“Of course, I do,” Phasma breathed. Her sigh shuddered as the edge of her orgasm heightened her sensitivity.

“Mmhm,” Rey murmured. “You’re so wet already.”

“You,” Phasma gasped, “You sound like a holo.”

“Do you want me to…?” Beneath the vibrator, Rey used her free hand to stroke Phasma in broad swipes.

“Yes,” said Phasma. It came out short, like she had been about to say more. She growled as if frustrated, the vibrator both too much and not enough at the same time.

With two fingers, Rey entered her while she kept the vibrator in position. Phasma rolled her hips into every touch. Each breath came out sharply, higher pitched than Phasma ever sounded. She bit her lip to keep from crying out too loudly.

“Yes,” moaned Phasma. The words had been stolen from her tongue, the rest of the thought had disappeared. Her pale face was flushed and warm, her eyes closed tight.

“You are unbelievably gorgeous,” said Rey. She pressed a kiss to the inside of one of Phasma’s long legs. “Absolutely breathtaking all undone like this.”

Phasma didn’t have any words left, just little, pleading whines. She rocked her hips slightly, involuntarily.

“Look at me,” said Rey. She shifted her weight up onto her knees and leaned over her, making sure to keep the vibrator steady. Phasma slowly opened her tightly shut eyes and looked up into Rey’s face. She wasn’t used to following orders but was so obedient like this. “I want you to look at me when you come.”

In that instant, Phasma arched underneath her, her head and sweat-damp blonde hair tossed back. She nearly broke eye contact with Rey but held on to the last. “I love you,” she said with a shuddering gasp. Phasma roared as she came at last. Her body rocked itself through the waves of her orgasm.

Rey’s blood had run cold. She had heard what Phasma had said, three words that were never meant to be shared between them. That wasn’t what this was. They weren’t meant to have that, to say that to each other. Rey had thought she was the one in their relationship who was going to have problems letting go, who was getting too attached.

Rey tried to think rationally before giving in to the inevitable. They hardly knew each other. Phasma had no idea who she was or what she meant to the Resistance or that someday Rey was going to save the galaxy. Rey had no idea where Phasma had come from, what her past was like, or whether she was sympathetic to her cause. Would she have said that if she had any idea who Rey was? And say Rey tried to bring Phasma into her life with the Resistance, would anyone approve? Leia? Poe? Finn?

She should have been overjoyed. Is there anything better than loving someone and being loved in return? Instead, with three words, Phasma had ruined everything. There was no way Rey could throw this away now.

At one time in her life, Rey had had no one. She had loved no one and no one had loved her. Now, she didn’t think she was capable of throwing away someone who did.