You're a horrible person. People can ship what they like, and it's not okay to harass them for it. And tagging your hate with ships? That's the worst kind of person. It's not their fault they ended up shipping incest, gays or anything else. You are deliberately putting down people's hard work, and that is what angers me most, so what if there's age difference or incest in a piece of art or writing? There was no less hard work put into it than any other content. Keep your hate to yourself.
lmao anyways i love not being a pedo or a creep or someone who calls gay ppl âgaysâ and includes us with pedos and creeps :*
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Dan sat on the end of a cliff, his feet dangling off the edge. Â He watched the city he used to love below grow dark with the coming night through his light brown fringe. It had only been six months, six short months, since he had been able to walk freely through those streets. Heâs almost forgotten what life before the disease was like. Â He exhaled at the small memories heâs kept, his breath a wisp of white smoke in the chilly winter air. Standing up and walking back to the small house he and his step-brother, Phil, occupy, Dan replayed those few memories in his mind. His mom, his friends, his girlfriend; all gone- taken out of his life forever, leaving him alone. Well, not completely alone. He still had Phil. Phil, whoâs dad married his mom and made them move to Manchester. Phil, who acted like a child even though he was 14, two years younger than Dan was. Phil, who had eyes so blue you were almost compelled to jump in and swim in them. The ebony hair of his always covering his face, making the blue shine out even more. He was too young to have to lose his parents and be forced into a life of constant terror and bloodshed. Sure, Dan was young too, but he already took care of him and his mother since his father abandoned them when he was 10. Now he cared for him and his newfound baby brother. After Danâs mother had gotten sick, his step-dad wouldnât let them near her and stayed with her for most of the day. Dan knew, he had seen it happen before. She wasnât just sick, she was infected. She would slowly decay and hunger for her own sons, and he knew he should put her out of her misery. But Philâs dad wouldnât let him, so he did the only other thing he could do. He ran. Dan took Mr. Lesterâs gun and a knife; stuffing them, along with some food, into his leather satchel, woke Phil, and took off into the night. They went to Danâs girlfriendâs house, hoping to stay there. But, they were too late. She had been bitten by her neighbor and attacked them, almost biting Phil as well. With a tear in his eye and his heart in his throat, he shot her dead. They ran out of town, fighting off friends, classmates, and neighbors who had gone mad with the hunger for human flesh. Many times they had to sleep in empty garbage bins just to keep safe, with nothing but each other to keep warm. Something snapped in Dan then, he was no longer a teenager, no longer a person, he was a hunter. A killer. A survivor. His eyes were no longer the warm, beautiful brown they used to be. There was no spark, no life. He didnât live, he simply existed. There were times Dan contemplated ending it all, freeing him from this soulless life. But then heâd hear Philâs scared voice and shaky laugh, the light still bright in his impossibly blue eyes, and heâd know he couldnât leave him. They were in this together.
He opened the gate they built around their cabin and walked up the stone steps. They had found the cabin in the middle of the woods, covered in spider webs and barely standing. It took them a little over two weeks to fix up and make suitable for living. That was six months ago and now they had adapted to their new life as well as anyone could. Phil was sitting on their creaky floor by the makeshift fireplace they had, lighting some wood to keep warm. He turned to look up at Dan, smiling at him, before going back to the fire. Dan sat across from him and took his satchel off his shoulders, watching the flameâs dancing reflection light up Philâs eyes. He took out some apples he had picked while roaming through the tall lanky trees surrounding them and handed one to Phil. Phil gladly accepted it, and took a big bite. Dan watched him eat, smiling small, as he nibbled on his own.
âAre you not hungry, Dan?â Phil questioned. Dan shook his head, small sad smile playing on his lips.
âNot really.â Phil gave him a concerned look. âItâs nothing. Iâm alright, Phil. Donât worry. Itâs just⊠Well, itâs Christmas in a few days. I feel bad that we canât celebrate it.â He hung his down so he didnât have to look at Phil as he spoke. He owed it to this boy to make the best out of this shitty holiday and being unable to gives him the sickest feeling. Like spoiled eggnog.
âIs that it? Dan, honestly, I donât care about Christmas! Weâve been over this. Iâve moved on. I thought you had, too. We have each other and we havenât seen any zombies in almost a month. Thatâs all that matters.â Phil placed a hand on Danâs knee to comfort him. His hand was warm despite how cold he was. Dan stared at the pale fingers, thumb moving in gentle, comforting circles against his thigh. He grinned up at his brother, eyes warming up and dimple showing.
âYouâre right, Philly. Im sorry, I just wanted you to have a happy holiday.â His smile was weak, but it was genuine. Phil gave his knee a squeeze and finished his apple. He tossed the core to the side and took his jacket off, wrapping it around him and Dan, cuddling into the elder boys side.
âI am happy. I have you, Danny.â Phil looked at him with big eyes and Dan couldnât help but let his smile crack his face in half. He wrapped his arm around Philâs waist and held him close, hoping to warm him up with his body heat. Phil rested his head on Danâs shoulder and closed his eyes, enjoying his brothers closeness. Phil loved Dan, not just as a brother, but as a best friend. Â Just being pressed against him made him overflow with joy, nothing but bright smiles and colorful tunes playing in his head. Phil was all Dan had left, and Dan swore heâd never let anything take Phil away from him. They were Terror Twins; two lonely souls wandering this corrupted world. Alone together. And thatâs how they liked it.
(IM SORRY ITS SO SHITTY i hope you donât mind a bit of phancest bc i thought itâd be cute owo have a lovely holiday and enjoy the playlist i made to go along, if you despise one of the songs lmk so i can change it aight <3)
Summary -Dan and Phils father left when Dan was a baby. He took Phil with him, and now 18 years later, he's decided to get in contact with their mother again. They schedule a family get together and Dan and Phil meet early, without knowledge of who the other is. They develop feelings for each other which doesn't stop when they realize who the other is, even though it should.
[Read the first part here!]
I'm already working on the next part so you can expect that soon. Suggestions and comments are always helpful. Thanks!
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(A lot of people kind of already noticed what's going to happen next ?! also if you've read my other fanfics you may see some things i've already mentioned in other ficS or some similar stuff but i didnt have the time to be creative ok fuck off)
Warnings: Incest. mentions of alcohol and drug usage
A/N: why do i enjoy writing about crazy teenage parties so much Google Search
-
âOkay what is it? Should I be scared?â
âNope, I just want to let you know that youâre going out with me and my friends tonight.â He sounded confident.
âAre you out of your mind?â
âIâm not. You never go out, Phil. You have no friends and thatâs bad you know? I donât want you to stay inside all the time and I donât think itâs fair that I always hang out and you donât. You have to give my friends a chance, I know theyâre younger and blahblahblah but it could be fun?â
Still 3 weeks before.
âWhat should I wear?â I gave up on trying to choose my clothes and went to Danâs room, to see what he had chosen.
âAnything. Really. Itâs not a fancy party, any t-shirt is goodâ my brother was wearing one of his favourite t-shirts, a Drop Dead one full of cats. I went back to my own room and chose a normal one like he did, and after a few minutes of hair straightening we were ready to leave. We met one of his friends who was very nice and welcoming when we got properly introduced, I had heard of him as he lived down the road. So, until then, everything was fine, but I was still a bit anxious about the whole situation. That was followed by some other introductions when we arrived at Rachelâs house, and again I didnât feel left out nor uncomfortable, everyone tried their best to make me feel at home and included me in the conversations. It was a small group of 11 people, around 6 girls and 5 boys, and all of them seemed like really good friends. I wanted to make Dan happy so I put some effort into avoiding small talks and keeping conversations although I had no experience at all and looked awkward most of the time. For my surprise, it wasnât as hard as I was expecting it to be and before I knew it I was laughing and talking to most of my brotherâs friends as if I already knew them. It was good to put faces to the people Dan always talked about, and to know what he did when he hung out and left me alone at home. I canât deny I was scared that some of them could hate me for my sexuality, however none of them insinuated any kind of offense towards me and that made me feel even more relaxed. Obviously, Dan and I couldnât show any kind of affection and they didnât know what happened between us. I tried not to get too annoyed when the girls friendly hugged him or got way too close to take a picture or gave him suggestive looks, because as far as they knew it, Dan was an attractiveand single guy. It seemed to me that most of his friends admired him, he was someone who everyone liked, generally cooler than the rest of people for what I saw.
At around 9pm, they decided it was time for the actual party. Once we were outside and walking in the street, my brother held me by the wrist so weâd walk behind the others. âSo, was it too bad?â he asked in a low tone so the others wouldnât hear us. âNo, it was fine. Your friends are very niceâ I assured him with a smile. âThatâs good, I told you. Now, weâre going to an actual party okay, so itâll be pretty different, there will be a lot of people I donât even know what will happen and I canât promise anything, people will mostly get drunk and stuff. You know how it works. We can go home if you want to, and if you want to leave earlier we canâ it was cute how he was trying to make me feel comfortable, and I loved him for that. Iâd get really angry if he just ignored me.
âItâs fine, we can go. I want to. Iâve never been to something like this. I guess itâs something I should tryâ
âGreat. Letâs get wasted, alright? Iâm proud of you for making friends, now my friends are yours as well.â Now we were a few steps behind and the rest of them were too busy talking, so he put his lips in my ear. âYouâll get rewarded for thatâ he whispered, giving my butt a little slap.
âDan!â I frowned, scared that his friends would notice.
âChill, they wouldnât see itâ we walked in silence for a bit more, the only noises in the empty streets were his friendsâ voices.
âYou do realize that one of those girls has a massive crush on you, right?â I asked him
âWhich one?â
âThe short oneâ I discretely pointed at her with my chin.
âOh. She does, sheâs been trying for ages to be honest. Everyone knows. But weâre good friends so I try to keep it that wayâ he explained.
âI figuredâ I crossed my arms and kept walking, turning my eyes away from him
âItâs a shame - for her - that Iâm too busy being in love with someone elseâ I could hear the smirk on his lips although I couldnât see it, and he sounded casual as if he were telling me that we werenât far from where we were going.
âYouâre too cute to be realâ I responded, sounding as casual as he did.
âIâm pretty damn real. You know that. Youâve checked many times by touching every single inch of my bodyâ Now he was starting to change his voice, and I knew that tone.
âWhat are you trying to do?â I confronted him with a smile.
âNothing! Just having a casual conversation with my brother.â
âSure thing. You want something. Are you sure? With all of your friends around?â I teased.
âI donât want anything! Damn!â he giggled.
âI know your talks, Danielâ
âYou need some drinks tonightâ
We finally got to a distant part of the town and we could hear the music from outside, although I didnât think it was crazy enough to bother the neighbors. There were some people on the balcony, and as we walked in we saw that the party had already begun. Everyone held a cup, and people didnât seem too drunk yet. Iâd always seen this kind of party on TV shows and films, but I never knew what it was actually like. The music was loud and I wondered who owned that house, and where were their parents, but that thought quickly left my mind as Dan handed me a beer. I walked right beside my brother as he said hi to some people, some of Danâs friends that had been with us found other groups so we were just a few boys after some minutes. Drinking alcohol wasnât a big deal for me so I casually drank it as we stood in a corner.
âThis is the time when weâre still too sober to have funâ Danâs voice was loud so I could hear him through the loud music.
âTHE BORING TIMEâ His friend, Steve, yelled between us. I looked around the place, there were all types of people and I noticed that my brother wasnât so cool here. At least, he wasnât the coolest. Most of those people were younger than I was but I also saw some people from my classes or even a bit older. The place got more crowded as the minutes passed; both the lounge and the garden were occupied and the house was huge. Dan and I were talking to his friends, some people who went to say hi to them ended up asking who I was and soon I didnât feel so out of place â this was different but it wasnât too bad. My beer was half empty when all of them finished their own, which made me realize that I should drink faster, so I did. After a few beer bottles the girls began dancing in the middle of the place, getting the party actually started. They were laughing and singing and dancing against each otherâs bodies as most of the boys simply checked them out from the corners. We went outside and I saw there were two sofas in the garden, which explained the reason why the lounge was so spacious. There were a bunch of people gathered around a table outside and as we got closer to it, I understood the reason: the vodka bottles were there, as well as some bottles of Coke. I felt happy and included in all of Danâs conversations, everything started to get easier and more natural as I began drinking stronger drinks.
âLetâs do some tequila shots!â Steve yelled, sounding more excited than a kid opening Christmas presents. That excitement was contagious: I couldnât help but smile and go with it. Some other guy who Iâd never seen poured us what we wanted, singing along to Pitbull as he did. We all grabbed ourselves a lime too. The place was crowded and it wasnât a fancy tequila shot, it was warm and plain, but we didnât care because all we wanted was to get drunk.
âWait, wait, I want one too!â a high pitched voice screamed behind us. I recognized Oliviaâs voice, she was one of the girls from Rachelâs house and I dared to say I already considered myself a friend of hers as we had spent some great time talking earlier. âAre you enjoying?!â she asked me with a big smile as she waited for her tequila.
âYeah sure! Itâs awesome!â I answered.
âAlright, together?â she looked at all of us once she had her drink.
âOne⊠TwoâŠâ Steve counted. âThreeâ and we all threw our heads back, drinking it all with a single swig. We sucked on the lemon right after it, it burned my throat but it was a great feeling of an energy boost.
âFUCK YEAHâ Steve screamed, making the rest of us laugh. We left the shot cups on the table, and soon they were taken by other people. It seemed like no one gave a fuck and it was a big mess, but it didnât feel uncomfortable. Dan got other drinks for us, this time vodka carelessly mixed with Coke and ice. We went back to the lounge where everything seemed even crazier, everyone was dancing, jumping, singing, even the boys. I couldnât dance, and that wasnât the kind of music I enjoyed, but everything felt so right and suddenly I was dancing with a group of Danâs friends, and the girls were pulling me by my shoulder and I was struggling not to drop my drink on the floor. However that drink soon ended and a girl handed me a new one; I didnât care what it was because she offered and it tasted good and fuck it I wanted to have a good time because this wasnât something I did very often. I was feeling alive like nothing else mattered, and sometimes Dan wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we danced together like some other boys were doing too. And I realized no one gave a fuck about my sexuality and I shouldnât feel scared of anything because everyone was drunk too and the beat of the song was way too intoxicating. Rachel, who was dancing with us, appeared with a bunch of shot cups and a bottle of something, and I hadnât noticed she had left to grab them but there we were, and she was sharing them out. We gathered in a circle and she filled our cups, and then one of the boys counted to three and we all took shots at the same time again. I still wasnât sure of what that was but I didnât care, I could feel the alcohol effect already. We kept on drinking, and dancing, and saying things that didnât make sense. Again, something unexpected happened when a random guy â I couldnât tell who anyone was anymore, except for the people who I had talked to before â placed a chair in the middle of the room.
âWHOâS FIRST?â he screamed.
âMe!â some people yelled, but Steve was the first one to sit on it. A girl knelt in front of him and for a quick moment I thought she would suck him off right there and then, but instead she grabbed his wrists and held them together. Steve threw his head back and a second later someone was behind him, directly pouring vodka to his open mouth and shaking the bottle as they did. The vodka guy stepped away and someone else occupied his place - that person was my brother. I wondered when heâd left my side but I didnât care because what he was doing was entertaining and people watched it. Dan grabbed Steveâs head with both hands and began shaking it merciless. Everyone shouted as he did so, not in a scared scream way but in a cheer and drunken way. For my surprise, I shouted too. It seemed crazy but fun as well. Once Dan stopped shaking his head, Steve stood up and walked away, hugging the girl whoâd held his wrists and looking properly drunk for the first time.
âWHOâS NEXT?â Dan screamed. Some other people went for it but before I knew it, Rachel was pulling me to the chair.
âLET PHIL DO IT, HEâS NEW HEREâ she shouted, pushing me to sit on the chair.
âNo, no, let someone else-â I tried to protest, but everyone was screaming in approval.
âYOUâRE DOING IT.â It didnât sound like I could argue so I relaxed on the chair, it couldnât be too bad, right? She knelt in front of me and held my wrists just like the other girl had done with Steve, and I heard Dan saying behind me: âLet me, heâs my brother, Iâll do itâ and his voice sounded protective which made me smile, because knowing that Dan was the one doing it made me feel totally comfortable with the situation. I threw my head back and looked at my brother. The angle wasnât the best one but seeing him made me smile again, because even though I was already drunk, Dan was still the most beautiful person in that house.
 âOpen wide!â he giggled. I did as he said and closed my eyes. He poured the vodka in my mouth and my gag reflex almost made me close my lips but I fought it. I tried to swallow but the fact that my head was thrown back wasnât helping, so I had to keep most of it in my mouth. âCloseâ he said before grabbing my head. I braced myself and trusted him with that. He shook my head really strong and a second later I lost myself completely. It didnât take long and my head was back in its place, but the drink was still in my mouth and I had to swallow it all at once. It burned, but at that point I didnât even feel it anymore. Dan helped me stand up and someone else took the seat. I supported my weight on Danâs body as we walked away from the small crowd.
âFUCK I FEEL AWESOME!â I screamed.
âITâS GOOD ISNâT IT?â he laughed.
âYES, YOU HAVE TO DO IT TOO â
âI WILLâ he told me. I found Rachel and some of her friends and Dan left me with them. They were as drunk as I was and I somehow found myself another drink to keep it going. We were dancing again, and two of them were dancing against my body but it didnât matter to me because girls didnât turn me on, I just felt as if I were one of them and it felt amazing. Dan and his guy friends showed up some time later too, and I was glad Dan had invited me to this party (or forced me to go) because I had no idea what I was missing when I stayed at home so many times. Some of the girls pulled two of us to the garden, and the rest of us followed. One of the sofas was free so we sat down on it; some of us had to sit on the grass. Outside, the music wasnât so loud and I could see some people smoking and making out. I wasnât 100% conscious so nothing mattered, and suddenly some people of our group were making out too, and there were people really close to me and really close to Dan and I didnât mind. Suddenly Steve showed everyone a small plastic bag and everyone got excited with that image. He opened it and offered it to everyone; some of them gladly accepted it, taking a pill with a quick sip. My vision was kind of blurry, my head was spinning but I could still tell that those were drugs. After seeing my brother taking a pill, my arm moved by itself, and I was grabbing a pill of something I didnât even know the name of, giving less than a fuck about it. Firstly, it didnât seem like a big deal, but this was when things got really bad. Some girl was trying to kiss Dan but he moved away from her, getting closer to me.
âHow do you feel?â he asked me.
âI donât think Iâve ever felt this greatâ I managed to answer although my voice sounded pretty bad too.
âGreater than when you fuck me?â he placed his hand on my thigh, getting even closer. No one was paying attention to us although we were surrounded by people, but even if someone had heard what heâd just said, I wouldnât be capable to care.
âNo, thereâs nothing greater than thatâ I grinned, putting my hand on his shoulder.
âHey Dan, want a drag?â someone asked him, making us go back to normal positions. The guy handed him a cigarette - I first thought â but when my brother grabbed it with his index finger and thumb, I realized it was a joint. I also just then realized how the place smelt.
âCheersâ Dan responded to his question before bringing it to his lips. He closed his eyes and sucked on it slowly. I watched him doing that in front of me, remembering how those pinky lips looked like around my cock. He threw his head back and exhaled the smoke in the air above him so it wouldnât go on my face, then offered me the joint. Smoking wasnât something I was used to, and I had never smoked weed, but I knew how it worked so I did. It was stronger than I expected so I coughed, but I didnât care about it too, all that mattered was the funny smile on Danâs lips after he saw me getting surprised by it. He gave it back to the guy and again we were kind of alone, because everyone else was in some other conversation.
âDo you think we can find some empty place? âCuz I canât wait to have your hands all over meâ my brother asked me, not bothering to make it low.
âI donât even know who owns this house, how should I know? I want it thoughâ what I was feeling was something Iâd never felt before, it was as if we werenât in reality. It was difficult to speak; I just wanted to kiss him. I felt his hand on my thigh again and his lips on my ear.
âIâm horny Phil, what are you gonna do about that?â he stroked my thigh, getting his hand dangerously close to my crotch.
âDan⊠your friends are hereâ my remaining bits of sanity spoke for me.
âFuck themâ his voice was hoarse, and damn, his intoxicated voice sounded hot.
âIâm just a boy, Dan, I canât control myself so be carefulâ I grinned at him as I stroked his jaw.
âI donât want you to control yourselfâ his lips were back on my ear and he kissed on it. âI want you to be completely out of your mind when you fuck me, I want you to be a complete mess, I want you to make me a complete mess when I comeâ
âShut upâ I grabbed the side of his head and pulled his face towards mine, attaching our lips and pushing my tongue inside his mouth without a second thought, as if we were alone in his room at 3am. He went with it and sat on my lap, straddling my hips and tilting his head like he always did. It felt like we were already in synchrony because we had done it so many times before and my body already knew what he was going to do and my hands already knew what they had to do to please him. He grinded against my crotch one single time and that was enough to show me that he was hard; and I was too. My hands were on his neck and his hands were on my shoulder, and we were like puzzle pieces that naturally completed each other. Our kiss was hot and fast and wet, because it was so messy sometimes his tongue would accidentally lose its way and leave my mouth to give my lips a quick lick, and sometimes we opened our mouths a little bit more and if someone was watching they would be able to see our tongues moving against each other in need. The last thing that I would ever think of, in that moment, was the fact that we were in the middle of a party and people would see everything we were doing even if it was dark, even if they were drunk, even if they werenât paying attention. Nothing stopped me from keeping those kisses, nothing stopped me from stroking Danâs back and thighs and stomach and God knows what else I touched because I was not myself in that moment.
-
âSeems like that party was funâ my dad commented with a big smirk on his face as we ate breakfast in the next morning. I mean, he ate his lunch; I tried to keep myself awake to eat a toast I had carelessly prepared for myself. I was about to fall asleep again on the breakfast bar, my eyes were probably red, my hair was probably a bigger mess than my life and any stupid person could tell I had a hangover.
 âPretty funâ I managed to respond with my grumpy and hoarse voice.
âDonât let your mother see you like that. You look like shit, just to mentionâ he giggled.
âDad.â I sighed, closing my eyes as if to say âthis is not the timeâ.
âDo you think your brother will leave his bed today? I wanted his help with somethingâ
âHe wonât. I shouldnât have eitherâ I groaned.
âYou know, Iâm glad you went out, son. You have to, you know, enjoy your teenage years. These are the things youâll remember when youâre old and watching your children do the same stupid things you didâ
âI donât think I remember much about last night TODAY, let alone in 40 years. Also Iâm not having children so,â I took my toast to my mouth again.
âHow come you wonât have children?â
âNot the time to discuss that, Dad.â
âWell alright, Iâll leave you with your hangover because Iâm already old and I have to workâ he sighed. âAgain, donât let your mother see this. She may have a breakdown and say that the bad child ruined the good oneâ
I finished my toast and milk, struggling to keep my eyes open, and then dragged myself upstairs to Danâs bedroom. He looked dead, lying in his bed the same way he was when I left him. I snuggled on his side and closed my eyes, falling asleep again with no worries in my mind.
-
âHOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF JESUS CHRIST, WAKE THE FUCK UP PHILâ Dan sounded as if he had just seen a ghost as he shook my body to wake me up.
âWhat is it?â I rubbed my eyes, slowly waking up from a dreamless sleep. I had no idea what time it was and for how long I had slept.
âYOU WONâT BELIEVE WHEN YOU SEE THIS SHIT, SIT UP, SIT UPâ he didnât mind to be gentle when he pulled up my torso so I could wake up faster, so that made me wake up completely because obviously something wasnât right.
âWHAT? WHAT?â I looked around, scared that the house might have been on fire or something like that.
âTHISâ he put his macbook on my lap and pointed at the scream. I blinked twice so my eyes would adjust to the brightness and my heart skipped a beat when I saw what was before my eyes.
âIs thisâŠ?â I asked confused, already feeling my throat close with panic.
âIT IS ME AND YOU MAKING OUT PHIL, A FUCKING VIDEO OF US MAKING OUTâ he screamed. âWHAT THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO DO?â
I played the video, it was on facebook. Someone had filmed it with a phone and it was dark and full of noises and loud music in the background, but it was pretty clear. The person behind the camera didnât make a sound and some people were like âIS THAT DAN, KISSING HIS BROTHER?â or âI MUST BE REALLY HIGH âCUZ IâM SEEING DAN AND HIS BROTHER KISSINGâ followed by laughter. Suddenly all the memories were back in my mind, I perfectly remembered doing that with Dan except for the details. I was pretty sure we didnât go any further than making out, but it was already a disaster.
âFuckâŠ. MeâŠ.â I shook my head as I paused the video. I couldnât watch it all. I checked who had posted the video, it was a weird Facebook page.
âitâs a fake page, where people post photos and videos and gossip and shit from parties. Itâs fucking stupid man, I didnât think about this when⊠FUCKâ
âCalm down Danâ I tried not to freak out, but when I saw that 40 people had liked the video and that it already had a few comments, I felt like throwing up. I closed the laptop and put it aside, I didnât want to read the comments. Dan was mumbling nonsense words and I had no idea of what was going to happen, my hands were sweating and my heart was beating faster. âOh shitâ.
ayyy good news, i already sent the next chapter of "More than friends, brothers"  (phancest) to my editor so hopefully i'll update tomorrow (Thursday) if she has the time to do the thing. If you haven't read the other chapters yet, you should do it now so you dont have to wait for an update if you enjoy it!Â
yep that's it just letting you know that im not dead and the next updates will come faster as I'm already writing them yeS GETTIN SHIT DONe
Warnings: incest. semi-smut. I apologize in advance for what I did with the sex scene.Â
a/n: Friendly reminder that '3 months before' means '3 months before ___(something that happened).
Thanks lizzie for editing ^_^ and thanks johanna for giving your opinion, tbh i wasn't sure of what i would do for this chapter but you helped god bless u
-
Oh please, say to me,
You'll let me be your man
And please, say to me,
You'll let me hold your hand
3 months before.
âWhatâs up bro?â I sat down next to Dan on his bed. We were back in the UK, and the weather was ridiculously boring after all the heat of Florida. Our parents were working again and we had our things back, but school hadnât started yet. I was about to begin my second year of sixth form, and Dan his first year.
âNew episode of Game of Thrones, wanna watch?â his laptop was on his lap.
âWhat kind of question is that?â I giggled moving closer to him. During the day we didnât have to worry about anything as we were always alone in the house.
âSo I guess I donât have to ask permission to do thisâŠ?â he kissed my lips with a smirk and my hand went straight to his neck. Even if I wanted, I wouldnât be able to answer his question because I was too busy kissing him back, and pecking his soft pink lips. He turned his face back to the computer to set the TV show and I laid my chin on his shoulder, his scent as always made the corner of my lips move to form a slight smile. I wrapped my arms around his elbow and snuggled on his side with my knees against my chest, almost curling up in a ball. He put his arm on my shoulders and kissed the side of my head as the episode started. I liked being held by Dan, he made me feel safe and warm with simple actions that he probably didnât even know meant so much to me. As we watched the episode he caressed my arm and shoulder with his thumb, and he would randomly peck my head or run his nose in my hair whilst my hand was on his thigh and knee or holding the fabric of his t-shirt. Every now and then I would let myself sniff his neck or stroke his clavicle with my cheek and jaw. And just like that we spent the next few days, cuddling and watching films, or playing video games and listening to music. We didnât go further than that except for masturbation or heated make out sessions, but it didnât matter to me as long as I was with Dan. Obviously there was nothing I wanted more than to have â proper - sex with him, but just like everything else I wanted him to take the first step. I didnât bring it up and nor did he, but he didnât need to say anything to let me know that he was still just scared and confused about everything. The last thing I wanted was to feel like I had pushed things or even abused my brother, and after all, what we did was already enough to make me happier than I had ever been.
2 months and 2 weeks before.
âI forgot to tell you, my friend Rachel is coming over tonightâ Dan said as we finally got back home from school. Our classes had started a few days earlier but once we were home, things were good again.
âWell⊠Okay, no problemâ I tossed my backpack in a corner and lay on my bed as he stood in the hallway.
âSorryâ he said quietly.
âYou donât have to be sorry! You have your friends, I understand, donât worry about me. Iâll just read a book or revise or something. I need to do it anywayâ I assured him, and I meant it. He had been spending so much time with me and I knew he was pushing his friends away, so I thought it was good for him to spend time with them too, and also, I hadnât revised enough considering I was always with him therefore I really needed some time alone as well. His friend came but I didnât even see her as I stayed in my room with the door closed and my nose inmy books. I ended up falling asleep in my own bed and so did Dan, and I didnât care because we didnât sleep in the same bed every night anyway. The next day was normal, but Dan said he had to go to a friendâs house for some school project or revision he had to do. I didnât mind and enjoyed the time by myself again.
It was only about 3 days later that I realized how weird Dan was acting. I hadnât noticed as we hadnât really been together but suddenly it hit me that my brother was avoiding me. I couldnât understand why, as I thought we were both enjoying whatever it was that we had, but I was pretty sure it was happening.
He had his laptop on his lap when I entered his room after dinner and he didnât do anything as I sat down next to him and looked at what he was doing over his shoulder.
âHeyâ he said after a moment.
âHey, I want to talk to youâŠâ I stroked his arm and stared at his face.
âAlright, close the doorâ he closed his laptop and sat up to look at me while I closed the door.
âIs everything okay?â I asked him.
âYeah, sure⊠you alright?â he yawned.
âYouâve been weird these last days, Iâm worried. Are you sure youâre ok?â
âIâm sorry, itâs just because Iâm tired and with a lot in my mind, you donât have to worryâ
âDid I do something that you didnât like or? You know you can tell me, right?â
âNo you didnâtâŠâ he sighed. âitâs just⊠Iâm kinda confused, okay? This thing we have, itâs just really weird even though I like it. You have to understand that itâs normal if I get a bit confused okay? Donât worry though⊠I just need some time to thinkâ he explained.
âI know⊠I feel that way sometimes tooâ
âI mean⊠what even is it, Phil? What is it that we have?â he sounded anxious now and I wished this werenât something that would get in our way. I had been so happy with him; I didnât want it to end.
âWe donât need to label it, Dan. We have⊠what we have. Weâre brothers, and we like to⊠be together. Whatâs the harm?â
âItâs not that simple, you see⊠when Iâm with you, itâs easy to forget about everything else, when weâre kissing, it feels so right and perfect, but any other time I just feel⊠wrong. I donât know. Iâve been talking to Rachel about it and she-â
âWait, you told Rachel about it?â I interrupted him.
âWell, I had to, Phil! I had to talk to someoneâ
âYou couldâve talked to me! Dan, this isnât something you just tell peopleâ
âYOU SEE? That is the problem, I canât tell people because itâs wrong, and you know that. Iâm sorry, but I had to tell her, she helps me and sheâs my friend and I trust herâ The conversation was getting tense, and as much as I didnât want to fight with him it seemed like we didnât have an escape.
âBut itâs dangerous! What if she tells someone? What would we do? And I know itâs wrong, Iâve known it since the beginning and so have you, but we both agreed to do itâ
âWell, we didnât think much about it, did we?â
âWhat is that supposed to mean?â My eyes began watering as I felt like he was about to say he regretted everything weâd done.
âI donât know what itâs supposed to mean, I donât know what our thing is supposed to mean, and thatâs whatâs driving me crazyâ
âI see. Well, Dan, if you think you regret everything you should just tell me now before we take it any further. I donât want to lose your friendship too⊠Iâd rather go back to what we had before, instead of losing you as a brotherâ
âYouâll never lose me, idiotâ
âDonât make promises you canât keep. I know itâs complicated and difficult⊠but Dan. Iâm willing to face all the difficulties and consequences to be with you. I donât care if itâs a secret, or if itâs against the society rules or the bible, because what I feel for you is stronger than all of that and I can deal with anything if it means weâll cuddle at night. But⊠if you donât think what you feel for me is that strong, if you want to think about it or if you want some space, I respect and understand youâ I was being completely honest with him and it would hurt if he said he didnât like me that much, but Iâd rather know the truth. Silent tears began falling from his eyes and I knew he didnât have many words after everything I said.
âYou just⊠sound so sure about everything⊠but Iâm afraid I canât say all of that with that confidence, Phil, Iâm sorry⊠I love you as a brother, as a friend, and more than that even, but⊠do you even have any idea of what it means? What if someday we considered each other boyfriends? We wouldnât be able to hold hands in public, we wouldnât be able to tell people, or even introduce each other to our parents because we have the same parents. What would mum and dad think? What would everyone say about us? How could we ever have something serious? And it just sucks to think that weâre just messing around, that weâre just having fun because what I want is to have something serious with you, I want to take you on a date and call you my boyfriend and show you off, but how can I do that if youâre mybrother?â he sniffed.
âYou know thatâs what I want tooâ and I couldnât help but cry after everything he said to me. I would never be the right person for him, and that hurt a lot, it gave me a physical chest pain like when you imagine what would happen if someone you love died. I got closer to him, but he moved away from my touch.
âPlease⊠donât⊠I just⊠really need to think more about itâ he stood up and turned around, then walked away to the window.
âOkay⊠Just⊠talk to me when you want to thenâ I slowly walked out of his room and closed the door behind me.
For the next 2 days, I felt a terrible heartache and Dan wouldnât leave my mind. No matter what I tried to do, I would always go back to thinking of him and no matter how hard I tried to concentrate on anything else, it just felt impossible to me. My brother didnât stay at home in those days and everything just felt so empty without him in the house, I already missed him. However I tried my best to stay out of his way and give him the space he needed, I knew things would get better someday.
-
It was around 1am, I had my earphones in and I was in the dark under my covers when the door handle made a noise and my brother tucked his head inside my room. We made eye contact as I stopped the music, but he didnât wait to get in and close the door, making the room darker again. He ran to my bed and got under the duvets with me, heâd been crying. He hugged the side of my body and I held him after giving him a kiss on the forehead, his scent and warmth making everything better. He didnât say anything and everything was silent except for his quiet sobs and sniffs.
âPhilâŠâ he began.
âShhhâ I stopped him. âDan donât say anythingâ I whispered as I unlocked my phone again, searching for a song to play. âRemember when you came to my bed when we were kids, and I gave you my earphone and told you that the song was louder than your bad thoughts?â My voice was still low, and he simply nodded to respond. I plugged one of my earphones in his ear and played the song Flaws, by Bastille. âYes, the music is still louder than your thoughtsâ he cuddled into me a bit more as we listened to the song. I could hear him crying more on my chest, and in that position we fell asleep after two â or ten - songs.
--
2 months before.
âAre you sure you want this?â I asked him for what seemed like the 10th time that evening. Our parents were out with some friends, or for work - I hadnât really listened after they said theyâd be gone until 4am â and that meant Dan and I had the whole night just for us. We didnât manage to stay away for too long, and after that night 2 weeks earlier when he went to my bed, he said he wanted to be with me and he wanted to take a chance because he had never felt anything like that for anyone. It made me happy again, it made me cry tears of happiness because Dan loved me back, and we had been succeeding on keeping our little secret. The only one who knew about it was his friend Rachel, but she hadnât done anything so far and I didnât worry about it any longer.
âFuck, stop asking or Iâll change my mindâ he moaned. I pulled my fingers out of him, we were both already naked and I knew that if I kept stretching him I would make him come, so I stopped. Weâd had a few hours of foreplay if you consider cuddling whilst watching films and lazy make out sessions, foreplay. But one thing led to another and it got heated as it normally did, but this time he didnât want to leave it with masturbation only. I was scared he would regret it but I knew he was no kid, he knew how things worked and he had been fingered many times before. There was nothing I wanted more than that, I wanted the best kind of intimacy with Dan and I didnât want any kind of line between us. And with that I positioned myself between his legs, pulling his hips up and spreading his legs to have better access. âCan I do this?â he wrapped his legs around my waist, pulling me even closer. I bent down and attached our lips together, our erections touching and begging for some friction.
âYou can do whatever you wantâ I said against his lips.
âI wish I topped so I could end this crap, please just fuck meâ he groaned.
âKissing me is crap?â
âStop it or Iâll come and fall asleep before you get to do anythingâ he pushed his hips against mine even harder.
âYouâre hot when youâre desperateâ I smirked.
âTeasing is a worse sin than incest, did you know that?â
âOh really? Is that in the bible?â
âYes I can confirm it is, and you donât wanna go against Godâs rules do you?â
âI surely donâtâ I giggled as I pushed my hips against his, finally letting just the tip of my dick get inside him. I was going slowly and the lube helped as I thrust for the first time, but he was still really tight and it made my eyes roll and my toes curl. I was sure to look at him though, because the faces Dan pulled were always worth it. I didnât drag my whole length against his walls - considering it was his first time and my fingers were different from that feeling â but when I thought it was deep enough, I stopped and gave him a moment to adjust.
âMm this feels so goodâ he threw his head back and shut his eyes closed. âCâmon, moveâ He moaned. I did as he asked, and slowly pulled out, leaving just my tip inside of him. I kissed him again as I pushed back in, and he bit my bottom lip with another moan. âDo I have to beg for you to go faster?â his words automatically made my movements faster.
âI love it when you begâ I smirked.
âI love youâ he dug his fingernails on my hips and pulled them, making me go deeper
âFuck.â I moaned.
~
1 month and 2 weeks before.
I was reading a book when Dan burst the door open and ran to meet me with a hug. He buried his face in my neck and held me tight.
âWhatâs wrong?â I stroked the back of his head. It was around 2am, my brother had gone out with his friends to some birthday party, and I didnât really care. I used to say he had to have his time with his friends and even though I got a bit jealous, I understood it.
âI did something badâ he sobbed.
âYouâre making me worried, what the hell happened?â I pushed him away to face him. I could smell the alcohol in his clothes and breath.
âI kissed someone else. Iâm sorry Philâ he hugged me again. âI didnât mean to, I swear, I love youâ I let him cry for a bit more because I knew he was drunk and anything I said wouldânt make a difference, so I held him and let him fall asleep in my bed.
-
âDo you wanna tell me what happened?â I asked when he woke up in the next morning. We were still cuddling in bed, and I didnât want to move from that position so soon.
âI feel like shitâ He groaned.
âYou got a hangover, what do you expect?â
âsorryâ he sighed.
âDonât beâ I massaged his arm with my thumb.
âI am though⊠what happened yesterday was like⊠my friends were bothering me âcause I hadnât kissed anyone for ages, they kept mocking me and saying I should kiss a girl who obviously wanted it. I drank a few shots, and kinda of lost control and when she kissed me I kissed her back and we made out. Iâm sorry Phil. I regret it, but I knew youâd find out sooner or later because I canât keep anything from youâ he explained.
âItâs okay Dan⊠Iâm not mad⊠I understand. You should sleep a bit moreâ I kissed his forehead and watched his eyes close again.
-
1 month before
âPLEASE DADâ Dan begged, hugging our father.
âYou know I canât, Dan! Iâm going for work, not for funâ he said once again. Our dad was going to Manchester for the weekend, and weâd been trying to make him take us with him. We lived in a small town and because of that we didnât have many things to do, we just wanted to do something different for once.
âOf course you can! Your hotel room has a big bed and a sofa, Phil can share the bed with you and Iâll sleep on the sofa. And your boss is paying for it. Câmon, please.â
âOkay, okayâ he agreed after hesitating for a moment. âI give up. You can go. But you have to stay out of trouble and behave. Manchester is a big city and can be dangerous, I wonât be with you.â
âYou donât need to worry dad, Phil will be with me. Heâs the responsible kid, remember?â
âStay out of trouble, Philip.â He looked at me this time.
âYou wonât even notice weâre thereâ I assured him
-
When we finally arrived in Manchester, Dan and I couldnât be happier. We didnât even have any plans for the day, but it was good to just see other places and feel like big city people. We left our things in the hotel and said bye to our dad who had to take care of his business already.
âSo, what are we doing?â my brother asked with a smile.
âI donât know about you, but Iâm super hungry. Itâs almost 2pmâ
âOkayâ he walked to where I was sitting and stood between my knees, then put his wrists on my shoulders. âCan we make this our first date?â he asked shyly.
âThatâs so cute, Danâ I grinned. âIt sounds ridiculous, considering we have all of our meals together, but Iâd love it to be a dateâ
âThe intention is what matters, donât ruin itâ he pecked my lips.
âI donât want to ruin it. But Iâm the one taking you out on a date thenâ
âWhy? Iâm the one who had the ideaâ he giggled.
âBecause Iâm older and more experienced, donât argueâ
âYou think that just because you top youâre the man of this relationship?â he said jokingly.
âIt doesnât have anything to do with that, I just want to pay for everything and donât argueâ
âWhatever, your money comes from the same place as mine anywayâ
âWhoâs the one ruining it now?â
âI love youâ he gave me a passionate kiss and I wouldnât have broken it if it wasnât for the annoying noise my stomach made.
-
âHowâs your food?â Dan asked me after we ate in silence for a few moments. Weâd gone to a Japanese restaurant as it was one of our favourite foods. It wasnât a fancy restaurant, but it wasnât a bad one either and no one knew us there, we didnât have to worry about looking like a couple because soon weâd leave that city. We didnât show affection by holding hands or kissing in public, but the way we looked at each other and the way we giggled and looked down made it more than obvious that we werenât just two friends having a nice lunch. I didnât feel like people were watching or judging us though, maybe it was because they werenât in fact, or because I was too busy paying attention to Dan only. Either way, it felt right.
âPerfect. Just like youâ I answered after swallowing another mouthful.
âCheesyâ he grinned.
âItâs supposed to be.â
I paid for our lunch and after that we walked for some minutes. We didn't know exactly where we were but we didnât really mind, we didnât have anything to do and walking around, looking at the buildings was somehow fun. Our arms slightly touched as we wandered, and our hands were free in the air. I wouldnât mind if he wanted to hold my hand, so I just left it there in case he wanted to grab it, but I didnât know if he was comfortable with that although his did the same with his own.
âI wanna hold your handâ I whispered in his ear, moving away after speaking. He kept a serious expression as he grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers.
âThought you wouldnât say itâ he said.
I liked holding Danâs hand in public, because I could feel peopleâs eyes on us and still I didnât give a fuck. I was proud of being with him, and I knew that every girl that moved her eyes to see our hands was jealous because I had a boyfriend as attractive as Dan, and they didnât. No boy was as beautiful as Dan, and I didnât need to check to know that. I liked to show him off, and I didnât even feel bad for it. Those people were strangers who had no idea of who we were; no one could tell we were brothers and that gave me the best feeling in the world.
 âIsnât it good to be in a place where no one knows our names?â he asked.
âItâs probably the best thing ever.â I agreed.
âLook, a Starbucks. Wanna go?â he slowed his steps.
âSure, why not?
âI pay this time. Donât argueâ he said as we walked in the coffee shop. Luckily it wasnât crowded and we only had to wait a few minutes in line. âWhat do you want?â
âI donât know⊠Iâll have the same thing as youâ
âAnd thatâs going to beâŠâ he looked up to choose in the cardboard menu.
âCaramel macchiatoâ I completed his sentence for him.
âYou know meâ he pecked my lips, and that was the first time we kissed anywhere out of a locked room. It made me smile under his lips. âGo find us a tableâ he let go of my hand when the lady called for the next customer.
I ran my eyes through the place to find a good table for us, and when I saw a little sofa in a corner, I knew that was going to be it. I sat down and waited for my brother to come with our drinks, and less than 3 minutes later there he was.
âWe could go to the cinema laterâ I suggested after we talked about random stuff for some time. We always had something to talk about and we didnât mind being in silence too.
âWe could.â He played with my foot under the table.
-
3 weeks before
âWe need to talkâ Dan burst the bathroom door open when I was brushing my teeth.
âDo you wanna kill me?â  I jumped.
âSorry, it couldnât waitâ
âOkay what is it? Should I be scared?â
âNope, I just want to let you know that youâre going out with me and my friends tonight.â He sounded confident.
âAre you out of your mind?â
âIâm not. You never go out, Phil. You have no friends and thatâs bad you know? I donât want you to stay inside all the time and I donât think itâs fair that I always hang out and you donât. You have to give my friends a chance, I know theyâre younger and blahblahblah but it could be fun?â
âDan. Your friends are the ones who donât like me and besides, I donât mind staying at home. I like it, you know that. Iâm not good at partying and stuffâ
âThey never said they donât like you! They donât have a problem with you, the thing is they donât even know you. Iâve already talked to them and they said itâs fine. If you donât like it tonight I wonât make you go again, but just give it a chance, who knows? You can befriend people and Iâll help you. They donât bite, theyâre nice, I wouldnât be their friend if they werenât. Weâre gonna go to Rachelâs and just chill, eat pizza or some shit, and then later weâll go to another house party. Itâll be fine, I promise, and if you get annoyed weâll come back home instead of going to the party with them. Please? For me?â he insisted.
âOkay⊠if you really want me to do it, Iâll go. But Iâll let you know Iâm shit at socializing, they might hate me.â
âYou arenât, you just have to be yourself and theyâll like you, I am sureâ
âOkayâ I sighed.
âGreat!â he left the bathroom and I looked at myself in the mirror. I shouldnât be scared of younger teenagers or of parties, right? Thatâs what normal people do, right? I took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. Dan would be there and I knew he wouldnât let anyone be mean to me, I trusted him.