This is a Vent Post, it includes Personal Struggles that I will not describe in detail for obvious reasons.
Posting this is helping me get it out of my system, if you are not comfortable reading it, I am giving plenty of warning.
I don't ever post emotional/personal shit, please disregard this entirely when it comes to first impressions. Do not follow me expecting Life Drama if this is how you found my blog.
Now that you've been thoroughly warned, here's the post:
This is a letter poem to a friend who is "taking a break" from me. We had a falling out, I left a server we were in, and now he doesn't want to talk to me.
It hasn't even been a day
I've seen a million things
And thought "he would love this."
I thought about your imagination today
It's such a wonderful place to be
I think about the worlds you create
On a social media platform
Yeah, I know, it's stupid.
Us is such a specific term.
Before, we were simply strangers
Strangers on opposite ends of the phone screen.
I have never heard your laugh,
I have never seen your eyes light up with a smile.
Yet it feels like I've sat next to you and laid my head on your shoulder.
I've only seen your face once,
Maybe twice, when you were brave enough to share.
It may be distant, fuzzy, and unclear.
But I think if I saw you, I'd recognize you.
"This stranger I barely know can recognize me when we've never met before.
We live miles apart and he can still recognize me.
I never want to meet him."
Yet, even if that's true, I find you saying the opposite.
"I wish I could cuddle you."
I'm so confused, scared, angry- no- sad. I don't even know.
All I know is that I hurt and I don't know what I did wrong.
Was it because I was angry? Arguing? Stubborn?
Or did you just realize that I was right, those many times before,
That you would eventually be tired of me?
But I don't know how long it will be until I speak to you again.
What if this time makes you realize you wish you never met me in the first place?
Will you message me before you leave, or will you keep me waiting forever?
We almost knew each other for two years.
That seems to be the maximum length of relationships for me.
Two years of knowing you…