#periode

*irgendwie hoffnungsvoll, vielleicht weil der Frühling kommt?*

*kriegt Kopfschmerzen. Plötzlich schwach und verschwitzt*

*kauft rauhe Mengen Schokolade*

nächster Tag mit üblicher schlechter Laune und die Welt ist grau

*kriegt ihre Tage*

Ach so.

For close to ten years, I’ve been running from doctor to doctor about unexplainable stomach pain. No one knew what was wrong with me. No ultrasound, allergy test or gastroscopy showed any signs of what could be wrong with me, so looking at my history with mental health, they wrote it off as anxiety and stress. I felt like the biggest imposter. I felt like a liar and idiot whenever I had to cancel friends due to my pain, when I stayed home from work repeatedly until they called in serious meetings to talk about my absences. It was only this year that my gynecologist finally mentioned the word “Endometriosis”. I’ve heard of it before. I knew what it was. Part of my just thought that it couldn’t be that, anyways. Like all other illnesses I got tested for. Another part of me, though, just knew - that was it. That’s what I have. 

I went to a specialist, and within fifteen minutes I had my diagnosis. A diagnosis of an illness no doctor before even thought about, even though 1 out of 10 woman suffers from endometriosis. 

I don’t know what I’m going to do about it yet. The option of surgery is always there but it’s no definite solution. There is no cure. 

The fact that my body produces these so called Endometriosis-herds remains the same. Endometriosis is basically a disorder in which the tissue similar to the inner lining of the uterus (endometrium) grows outside the uterus. The tissue gets inflammated, which causes massive pain. 

I am starting with a contraceptual pill now, which should stop my periods and therefore most of the pain, but other factors about this illness remain. My reproductive organs aren’t where they are supposed to be, and I have no idea if I will ever be able to have children. 

I want everyone to know about this illness. Girls - if you suffer from insufferable pain during your periods or in between, ask your doctor about it. The worst thing they can say is that you don't have it, and really, that's the best answer you can get.