#parental influence

When we are infants, our first relationships are with our caregivers, usually our parents. Attachment theory points out that these first connections would later contribute to how we relate to different people. It is like a map choosing which paths to follow when we grow up.

If you, at least, had great parents who were loving and kind, you would certainly feel secure in relationships, trusting other people and having a sunny disposition of yourself. However, when your caregivers had demonstrated the same behaviour you might feel that relationships you have now are a risk for you. It was either "They've let me down in the past so I know better than to let my guard down" or "before I was momentarily hurt and now I am wary of any risk."

By getting acquainted with them we could benefit from these insights and increase the level of our relationships. Thus, by realizing what our attachment behavioural pattern is---being secure, anxious, or avoidant---we can start the process of personal growth. In this regard, we become capable of having more productive communication, making ourselves more (open, and let out), and developing our partnership qualitatively.

Therefore, determining how our past has its pull on the present will enable us to have better relationships due to it. It enables you to know the schematics you need to construct a fort using loving and strong connections.

Hello~

Very specific, let’s what I can do! I’ll note how the parents influence the character. Those were the parents are actively/actually present are marked with*

Magical/Supernatural AUs:

the mermaids singing, each to each* by fatal (cumrich), our review (6.4k) - Namjoon’s mother teaches him about the sea and its gifts

Carry On Without Me by MotionlessMuse (9.5k) - Hoseok’s mom was also able to see ghosts and taught him how to deal with it

lonely you (do you know my heart?)* by sirradel (18.8k) - Jimin's wish to continue his parents’ legacy in sports is super important to the story

Ghosts That We Knew by smiles (23k) - Yoongi’s grandmother was a shaman and taught him things, he’s not a main character but his skills play a significant role in the story

Scrapbook by sugamins, our review (26.7k) - the fic revolves around Taehyung’s dealing with his grief over his family’s death, they’re mentioned often

Kith by sugamins, our review (99.7k) - Yoongi’s dealing with his grief over his family’s death, they’re mentioned often

Non-Magical AUs:

i am contagious by ienveeus, our review (40k) - Namjoon’s father had a huge influence on his worldview

Solace* by MotionlessMuse (52.4k) - Yoongi’s bad relationship with his dad affects him

Brotherhood* by sugamins, our review (274.3k) - referenced/implied child abuse that deeply affect members and their struggles

House of Cards* by sugamins, our review (394.9k) - Jungkook’s father being a mafia boss and how he is towards his son explains how ruthless and convoluted (read: fucked up) he is

Be sure to check the tags! Happy Reading! ~ Admin P

Minaily-I think it would make be feel less dysphoric. I also have depressionand anxiety keep forgetting to eat and drink. What should I do toremember. I know this is a long list of things but the government hastold me I have a ld but my therapist thinks it might be caused by mymental illness so maybe it can be fixed? Through therapy. Anyway, Ikeep looking up how to love yourself with a learning disability. andtheirs not a single article… should I make one for others to add orwill that

Minaily-Should I make one or will it be offensive and bad. Since I don’t knowif this can be fixed or not and I am not the best voice.

HeyMinaily,

Justto be clear, it seems like the problem you’re having  is that you’renot allowed to wear men’s clothes, but that you feel like doing sowould help address your dysphoria. You also feel like the governmentmandate for an ID, in which there are only two genders (male orfemale) and that is adding to your dysphoria. 

Myquestion is, why do you feel like you’re not allowed to wear manlyclothes? Do your parents require you to wear female clothes? Do theyobject if you wear a t-shirt and jeans? Those clothes aren’t genderedat all, plenty of girls wear t-shirt and jeans and those aren’tconsidered manly. Do you know how your parents would react to that?If you think they would object to it, you can tell them that severalgirls wear t-shirt and jeans. If your mom wears them, you can evenpoint that out as your defense.

Mostof the time, if you’re wearing a binder, people won’t notice thatyou’re wearing one. I’ve worn a binder around several people, andthey haven’t commented on it. They haven’t even commented on the factthat I look thinner or that I look different. Also, a binder lookslike a type of sports bra, or a tank top depending on what kind youget, so unless your parents know what a binder looks like, you shouldbe able to get one without them knowing. If you’re worried about themseeing it when you need it washed, binders actually have to be handwashed, so I wouldn’t worry about that.

Isthere somewhere you could store a binder where your parents won’tfind it? If so, I think you could get one without them knowing orputting up a fuss about it.

Ifyou’re worried about them telling you that you can’t wear manlyclothes, what you can do is slowly work towards wearing moremasculine clothes. If you were to start wearing them right away, yourparents would probably notice and start complaining about it.However, if you were to do it more gradually, it would seem like yourstyle was slowly changing instead of something you were activelytrying to do. The best way to do that is to get one item at a timeand incorporate it into what you already wear. Once you’ve worn itregularly for a few months, you can get another one. I know it takestime, and it doesn’t do much to address your dysphoria, but it is away to start wearing clothes that feel more like you without gettingin trouble from your parents.

Asfar as dysphoria, I would recommend looking for other results to dealwith it when you aren’t able to transition or present yourself in away that feels more accurate to who you are. There are severaltumblrs out there dedicated to helping people work through dysphoria.A great place to start is this dysphoriamasterpost on Transgender Teen Survival Guide.

Makingan article about how to love yourself with a learning disabilitywould be a great idea! I don’t think it would be offensive,especially if you state that this is your opinion and should not betaken as fact. I think it could also help if you wrote it withsomeone else in your same situation, so that the article would notjust be from your perspective.

Ihope all of this helps you, and please don’t hesitate to reach out ifyou need anymore help!

The aim of the present study was to examine the relationship between women’s representations of their own caregivers and their present-day relationships to their bodies. -Aniella Lincoln Perold

Since self-awareness and understanding are at the heart of overcoming perfectionism, we must first look at why and how it develops.

The general consensus amongst the experts seems to be that perfectionists are made not born, in other words it’s likely to be more ‘nurture’ than ‘nature’, and that our childhood experiences have a profound influence. Having said that though, human beings are…