Part 2 of my “I’m losing my mind about the Lightwood siblings” breakdown while I read City of Heavenly Fire again:
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“Jace thought of the wooden soldier he’d given to Max, and closed his eyes in sudden pain.”
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“It’s good to have people worry about you,” said Alec. “It means they care. It’s how you know they’re good friends.”
Emma’s gaze went from Alec to Jace, curious. “Do you worry about him?” she asked Alec, surprising a laugh out of him.
“All the time,” he said. “Jace could get himself killed putting his pants on in the morning. Being his parabatai is a full-time job.”
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“I like her,” Isabelle said finally. “She kind of reminds me of Jace when he was little, and stubborn, and acted like he was immortal.”
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“Go without me, and you disrespect our parabatai oaths, you disrespect me as a Shadowhunter, and you disrespect the fact that this is my battle too.”
“Jace looked shocked. “Alec, I would never disrespect our oaths. You’re one of the best Shadowhunters I know—”
“Which is why we come with you,” said Isabelle. “You need us. You need Alec and me to back you up the way we always have.”
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“And how old are you?” Isabelle said.
“Nine,” said Max. “I’ve always been nine.”
Isabelle stared. The kitchen around her was wavering. She could see through it, as if she were staring through printed fabric: everything going transparent, as mutable as water.
“Baby,” she whispered. “My Max, my baby brother, please, please stay.”
“I’ll always be nine,” he said, and touched her face.”
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“She knew Jace hated it when Alec was angry at him. She wasn’t sure if he could feel the discord through the parabatai bond or if it was just ordinary empathy, or a little of both.”
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“I just wanted to say that you don’t always have to be all right. I asked you to be my parabatai because I needed you, but you’re allowed to need me, too. This”—he indicated his own parabatai rune—“means you are the better, other half of me, and I care about you more than I care about myself. Remember that. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how much you were hurting. I didn’t see it then, but I see it now.”
Alec was very still for a moment, barely breathing. Then, to Jace’s surprise, he reached out and ruffled Jace’s hair, the way an older brother might ruffle his younger sibling’s hair. His smile was cautious, but it was full of real affection. “Thanks for seeing me,” he said, and walked off down the tunnel.”
