#overhelmed

that he said he had customized for me and still acted sad meanwhile I'm having a panic attack on the inside. Then he leaves and I think it's over but then he calls my brother and asks to talk to me and while he's talking to me he starts "crying" which causes me to have a breakdown and so then he hangs up and I go and lock myself in my room just shaking and crying because I'm so overwhelmed and terrified. Today he apparently asked both my mom and my brother why I haven't called him at all (2/2)

Hiya anon! I'm sorry your step dad is putting you through that, you're under no obligation to talk to him, especially if he drives you to a panic attack. Could you get your mom to tell him that talking to him brings back bad memories, or makes your feel uncomfortable? If he truly 'cares' about you he should respect your boundaries, including your wishes to not see him anymore. If him dropping by is a reoccurring thing, you could try and set up a system where he has to call beforehand to let your family know he's coming, and then you could leave the house while he's there? Talk to your mom and brother about it, and make sure they know how you feel. Support each other.

Practise different breathing exercises/grounding techniques and see if you can find one that works for you. Teach your mom and brother ways to help you calm down, if they're open to it. Hopefully as time goes on his attempts to contact you will get less frequent. It's gonna be ok anon, we're here if you need us, yeah?

Hope this helps xxx