I wear my scars like the rings on a pimp

Between Matches

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IWAIZUMI HAJIME!!

Stars Aligned

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IWAIZUMI HAJIME!!

Fuck it, I love you II

Planning the Future

Please send me an email. Introduce yourself, call my by my name (Amalas), say what you have in mind vision and budget wise, and I’m happy to answer.

A note from Minneapolis. January 21, 2026.

My sleeping patterns are still irregular. A couple of hours here, an hour there, end up wide awake and staring into the abyss for a few more hours, maybe fall asleep for an hour and a half before the alarm goes off and begins screaming at me to please wake up for work. Sometimes my slumber is interrupted by the sounds of sirens and horns, sometimes followed with whistles and screams somewhere down the road. Sometimes I jolt up. Because sometimes I was dreaming of hearing the whistles.

I begin the cycle of my day.

I fumble out of bed, exhausted. I brush my teeth and throw on some clothes. I grab my wallet, my ID, my passport, my keys, my gloves, my whistle. Throw on a scarf, a beanie, winter jacket, and my boots. I grab my keys and begin the scanning process for anything that may seem suspicious as I leave the building and cross lots, walk along the sidewalks, etc. I text a friend to let him know I have left my apartment and am still in the process of walking to my destination and will let him know when I arrive. The usual process these days.

This morning, it is snowy already. A storm is coming. There is a long van with tinted windows across the way, but from the angle I was at, I couldn’t see if the driver had a mask or vest on. I couldn’t see if there was a front plate or not, nor could I see what the plates were. They were at a light. I paused and waited for that light to turn green, because if they were getting ready to turn my way, I was going to be ready to get out of that position as quickly and safely as possible… just in case. It proceeded to move forward towards Uptown.

I’d get my iced mocha, let a friend know I was going to be walking back now. I notice a black SUV in the parking lot, nestled inbetween a couple of cars. Their lights were still on. Tinted windows. No front plate and I couldn’t see the back plate from my angle. I tried to look through the windshield as I kept cautiously walking back home, but I couldn’t tell if someone was still in there watching me or the lot. I kept looking past my shoulder to see if it was going to move at all until I could no longer see them as I turned the corner.

I get home and text my friend to let him know. I sit down, open my work laptop while I start seeing notifications pop up. Five masked agents spotted just down the street, waiting in the lot of a neighboring apartment complex. Suspected ICE vehicle there, suspected ICE vehicle there, seem to be moving towards south. Bovino spotting across the street, but potential passing through towards Uptown and south.

My nerves are already shot and it’s not even Noon yet. Meanwhile, I’m trying to pretend it’s just a normal day while I attempt to professionally function, but there is nothing normal about this. But I also don’t know how to get people outside of this state to truly understand that. Sirens start going off as they pass my building. Then again. I don’t like this feeling.

I would soon find out about some of the things going on just a couple of miles away. I would have friends out there to bear witness in person. Green gas would be thrown into the streets of a residential area (again, as this just happened nights ago in North Minneapolis after they shot a man in the leg). They would detain two teenagers, despite having their passports. A 5-year old boy would be abducted and used as bait. Reports say he has already been sent to Texas somewhere.

A FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD.

But yeah. We’re really getting “the worst of the worst” off the streets, you guys.

And one of the terrifying parts about all of this is… this is only a few of many of today’s cases. This has been the daily life for a lot of us lately. I would begin to hear helicopters and more sirens throughout the day. Friends would check in either to just see how I’m feeling with everything today, and/or if I needed anything delivered as I am stuck indoors.

(I would also later find out that this conveniently comes after the appeals court decided that they are indeed allowed to use force against us this morning, so perhaps that explains the returned chaos. Not like they honored the pause to begin with, but ya know…)

They say ignorance is bliss, but I really need people to stop choosing to live that way right now. We are trying to fight for our lives out here, as well as our neighbors’, but also your lives as well… because this isn’t going to just magically stop with us. Hell, they already launched in Maine today.

“How are you?” (Not great.) “I hope you’re doing amazing!” (I’m really not.) ”Awww, what’s wrong?” (“Awww,” I’m trying to not be disappeared and am currently trying to survive federal occupation… AGAIN, by the way. AGAIN.) ”Wait, what’s going on?” (Do… do you live under a giant rock or are you being willfully ignorant because you think none of this affects you in any way?)

We’re tired. We’re heartbroken and we’re furious and we’re disappointed and we’re scared and we’re anxious and we’re fucking tired. We’re trying to keep our emotions at bay while trying to function like everything is normal and keep working because we still need to pay rent and other bills while pretending like all of this shit is “just another day” and it surely isn’t happening right outside of our doors. Like it isn’t happening to our friends, our family, our neighbors. Sure, it’s fine. It must be nice to just not care and be able to just tune it out.

So if you don’t really want to know the answer to “how we’re doing”, then stop asking. Just tell us what you want/need.

Before I end this rambling for the night, a lot of our beloved restaurants and businesses out here are once again suffering as the result of this occupation, basically, out of safety concerns. Rather than re-listing everything, MSP Mag actually has a great list compiled here.

This Friday, January 23rd is ‘ICE Out of Minnesota’ day. “No work, no school, no shopping — only community, conscience, and collective action.” There will be a march and rally in downtown Minneapolis beginning at 2pm. A whole lot of businesses will be closed in solidarity.