#out post

And start showing them Jesus kind of love first.

They don’t know Him.

“i don’t think you can really do all the trauma work because you’re liing in a place that’s not emotionally safe”

She then said she’s not saying that they are abusing me or that any abuse happens. But from the way i’ve described living at home even without getting into explicit events but just the general way i’m treated

WHich is strangely validating that like even when i don’t think i’ve gotten into any big trauma or even told her the worst things still happening and she is making sure she doesn’t like tell me something happened that didn’t. But she is litteraly saying that she can tell that were not in a safe place as is. 

LIke so i’m not crazy. I’m not making something out of nothing

The place i am in is not healthy for me

I’m not crazy

I’m not ungrateful 

Name: Annabelle 

Age: 23

Gender: Female (She/Her)

Role: Manager

Species: Non-Human Alter, 1/2 Elf, 1/2 Fae

Home: Forest, Flower House

Sarcastic sassy mentor. Cares a lot! Smart and funny

(image source: Kniemr)

Name: Jonathan “jon” Sims

Age: 33

Gender: Male (He/Him)

Role: Introject

Species: Avatar

Orientation: Biromantic Asexual

Home: Round Table Castle

Name: Sasha Syara

Age: 25

Gender: Female (She/Her)

Species: Human, self described Warrior 

Role: Protector, Trauma Holder

Orientation: Lesbian Asexual 

Home: Forest

I’m here to help and care for people. Keep us safe and not feel the pain so bad. I go were i want. I know zipper’s town, flower house, tree house and round table. 

Name: Toni

Age: 20s

Gender: Female (She/Her)

Species: Human

Role: Cartakerish? Trauma Holder?

Orientation: Bisexual

Home: Round Table Castle

Has memories of another past. Wants to be a mother.

Name: Zipper

Age: Ageless, adult

Gender: Male (He/Him)

Species: Christmas Elf

Role: Cataker

Home: Forest, Small Town

Takes care of town. Kind and smart Old Split

Name: Zezzy

Age: Ageless, childish?

Gender: Female (She/Her)

Species: Elf & Fae

Role: ??

Home: Forest, Small town

my sister has had to share our room a lot which feels like an invasion of privacy over the like normal way my family hates boundries

which btw they always do they just use my room as an extension of the living room and take our stuff as theres. Like we have nice colour pencils and other art suplies, paints, ink pens, crayons pastels etc. Its ours and they just take it.

Not to mention my sister is touchy and i dont like but if i get agitated and push her away then she gets mad. Just like dad does. Dont tocuh me unless i ask you to touch me! It hurts and can make us panic she knows but doesn care.

and i have to not say stuff with my abuela, also my spanish skills suck and only some of us remember any of it (Airels pretty good)

and the verbal psychological mean stuff our dad does to our mother all the time has been worse and then even more to my abuela. Which sucks!

And like i dont like having my arm yanked and when we have seizures right we experince muscel cramping and ive said the doctors say dont touch me but he takes our hands and prys them open, beacuse he knows better and it uurts. And when im not moving normal or steming or sitting funny he yanks me about like a rage doll i dont like it.

mother has been stressed and keeps snapping at me beacuse shes getting insulted so i day anything aporaching not agreeing 100% she gets angry.

Then my dad is still like sometimes will joke and sometimes screams or shuts me out. So i never know whats okay and 1/2 the time i jusy shut all pf it down.

and my sister movks and doesnt do boundaries. but i do love her and we share a childhood which is nice. and i can be more open but she still doesnt know everything.

health has been shit

all together our dissociation has been awful and splitting, finding new alters just a lot. And flashbackd and panic attacks have been real strong.