#orphansunday

I don't really have the words to say how terrible this is. Myka Staffer and her husband are public figures on YouTube. They adopted a young child from China in 2017. A few days ago Myka and her husband posted a video saying they couldn't deal with him anymore and they found a new mommy for him. A new home.

First, after reading through all of this crap it's apparent Myka adopted a child to make money and bring in views to channel. The whole family thanks to Huxley, the adopted child got sponsors, money, and views. Huxley paid for their new lifestyle. Myka and her family became popular. Her adoption video has millions of views.

Second, Myka shaved the child's head, taped his thumb, and was upset the child wouldn't attach to her. She was also upset she couldn't understand English. Ummm. Did you forget you adopted a child from China? Of course he doesn't understand you. Learn his language. Of course he doesn't want to bond with you. You're a stranger. You're American. You ripped him away from his country and home.

Third, Myka and her husband were warned the child would have issues. The doctors even said not to adopt him because he would be high needs and she has other childre . He has brain damage. However, Myka and her husband decided God wanted them to adopt Huxley and their son. So they went ahead and adopted him.

Fourth, I hate this one so much. Myka got pregnant. Yes. Got pregnant when her adopted child was struggling. She got pregnant right away. Why get pregnant when you have a child who needs you? I don't understand. Once she got pregnant Huxley her adopted child struggled. Duhhh. Of course he would. He was the baby and now a new baby has all the attention. So apparently this was broke the adoption apart. They had their own biological kid again(they have three biological kids together) Their adopted child was struggling and they gave him away like a dog. Also, they locked him in a closet, showed his tantrums, and went on vacation without him because he wasn't their own child aka biological child. They put him to sleep early everyday to spend time with their real kids aka biological kids.

Fifth, the fake tears, the clothes, the blaming the child. Stop. Just stop it. Did I also mentioned she fundraised, yes used strangers money to pay for the child's adoption? WTF? So Myka and her husband decided to willingly adopt a child with special needs, ignore advice, make money off the child, then throw him away like an animal. The comments defending this crap are the worse.

I didn't know this was a real thing until I came here and listened to adoptees and foster kids. I get messages and comments from adoptees and foster kids who were adopted and rehomed . Many were adopted at birth or as young child. Many spent years and years with their adoptive family or were rehomed within a few weeks/months. What is going on? Adoption is suppose to be a done deal.

As an adoptee adopted at birth I'm sad. I'm angry. Adoptive parents are the parents. They signed up for this. Literally. Adoptive parents might spend years trying to adopt. So it's not by accident. You're the legal parent. The parent. Parenting isn't easy. I came on here as a teen struggling. I use to cut myself. I was diagnosed with depression. I ran away and hated my parents who adopted me. Everything was confusing. I was hurting for real. I hated life. I didn't choose to be adopted. I didn't choose to be given up. These choices were made for me. My parents hurt me. Not physically but by not considering me or trying to understand me. The whole Orphan Sunday, sharing my story, using my as a prop. That hurt me. I couldn't talk to them. I always felt like they're to blame for everything including my birth mom giving me up. I still have these feelings. It's all complex. My parents also kept things from me. Wanting to wait until I was older. On top of this my parents adopted because they couldn't get pregnant. I know deep down inside I would be with them if they could have their own biological kids. We wouldn't be adopted, my siblings and I. So yeah that hurts. I'm actually happy they didn't have biological kids and we're all adopted. I'm just hurt they tried for biological kids and want them first before me. That hurts. It also hurts the woman that carried me didn't want me. So everything is hard. So yes, I acted out a bit. I told them I hated them. I even told them they're not my real parents because I was hurt. I did a lot of things to them. Sort of rebelled I guess. I was given away by my birth mom and felt hurt and abandoned. But never once did my parents ever give me up or consider giving me up. I'm their child. Parenting is for life. You're not just there for the easy but for the hard parts too. What's the point of adoption if adoptive parents will just give their kids up with things get hard or when they just don't want to deal with the child anymore? It's unfair to the child. If people aren't willing to take the commitment then don't adopt. If you want a perfect child, don't adopt. If you don't want to deal with issues don't adopt. If you think you van rehome a child don't adopt. If you're not willing to stick with the child for life don't adopt. Adoption is a choice. Not a rule. You make this choice. My birth mom had an unplanned pregnancy. She had sex but didn't expect to get pregnant. My adoptive parents expected to have a child through adoption. There's no such thing as an unplanned adoption. So there should be no such thing as rehoming or getting rid of your adopted child. If you want to be the real mom or real parents, then guess what? This includes being with your adopted child through everything. Especially the hardships. That's what real parents do. Adoptees are either your child as if they were born to you or they're not. Don't get upset at the words real or adoptive parent when you don't even see your adopted child as your real child or only adopt for show.