#or rather.

Merc pulls out all of the stops to attract him away from red bull. (ignore the timeline contraints here pls). Toto gets on his knees to the Verstappen camp like, look at our NEW and FABULOUS W13 and our zero pods design. This is the future, it’s going to be four-tenths per lap quicker than everyone else. pspsspsps you knowwwww you wanna drive for us sooo bad. ditch that ugly fucking Red Bull, what have they ever done for you? do you want to join the winners, or are you content with being first loser for the rest of your career?

and Max is TIRED of coming in second and the prospect of debuting this insane new car (and also the intense glazing from Toto Wolff) is enough to win him over. He ditches Red Bull for Mercedes. It’s a coup. It’s silly season x10000. It’s as frenzied as the media gets (until a few years later — more on that in a bit).

so he rolls up to pre-season testing, next to his teammate George Russell (they’re already grating each other’s nerves but who cares, Max is pretty confident he’ll beat him no problem). everyone’s talking about the sure thing of another era of merc dominance, especially now that they have Max behind the wheel. no one is more ready to make 2022 his bitch than Max Verstappen in a Silver Arrow.

by the end of the first day of testing it becomes clear that the car fucking sucks.

the team (and especially Toto) hems and haws about the porpoising problem, everyone’s struggling with it, Max, we’ll find the right set-up and you’ll see what the w13 can do, this is your year Max, you can trust the team. But Max knows the car isn’t going to improve enough for the complete dominance they promised him in their seduction. He’s stuck with a car that can’t deliver what he signed on for, a team that’s publicly crashing out about it, and a teammate who’s never doing him any favors. What’s more, that stupid fucking red horse garage looks FAR too happy.

and the season hasn’t even started yet!!!!!!

obviously, the car doesn’t improve enough for Max to finally win. he performs better in it than Lewis and George did IRL. But not enough. In the end, it’s Charles who wins his first WDC that year. fucking CHARLES, driving for FERRARI, scraping by in a tractor for YEARS and then BEATING MAX TO A WDC.

every time Max thinks about it his fingernails bite into his palm and he fights the urge to punch a wall. Charles’s smug, tear-streaked, champagne-soaked face flashes through his mind. it’s bad enough that it’s Charles, first, that no matter what happens Charles will have done it before him: it’s even worse that Charles gets the honor of delivering that stupid team its first WDC since Raikkonen in 2007. everyone is sooooooooo happy for Charles, wow he’s such a nice guy, no one could ever deserve it more. Max could barf.

that they’re not fucking yet but the hatred IS sexual. trust, the hatred is ALWAYS sexual.

2022 wdc results:

Charles

Max

Checo

George

Carlos

Alex (bc of the Max-related power vacuum, Alex retained a seat at RBR. don’t think about it too hard)

2023 gives Max even more reason for homicide. Charles doesn’t win again — yay! — but Red Bull finally ends up on top— motherfucking shit — after a challenging and contentious year of racing. THATS RIGHT. CHECO WDC 2023.

2023 wdc results:

Checo

Max

Fernando

Charles

Alex

Max DOES challenge for the title in 2023, though mostly in a mathematical it-could-theoretically happen sort of way (somewhat akin to Lando’s title challenge in 2024) as Checo’s performance in the drops off towards the end of the season and Max stays relatively consistent.

anyways, fast forwarding through a lot of 2024. without Max to drive the rb20, Red Bull and Checo’s championship defense flails pretty early on in the season (also, without Max there I imagine Newy deciding to leave much earlier than he did IRL). Lando wins. Max is first loser again. Charles gets third place.

George continues to look a lot worse than he actually is in the car by comparison to Max; he’s performing well, as he did irl, but it’s clear to him— as it was to Daniel in 2018 — that so long as Max is his team, he’s never going to have a team built around him and his goals. everything anyone says about George is always qualified with “relative to his teammate Max” and he’s tired of dealing with that, tired of the car, tired of feeling like his input always matters second-most. he’s not happy at Merc the way things are going.

Merc itself is aware that its two drivers are unhappy with the direction of things. Max is as antsy as ever for his promised wdc, George is exhausted at feeling passed over, and neither of them are getting any younger.

Toto is keen to keep George close. he negotiates a contract for George to return to Williams (where Alex is Not, remember — because he’s still at Red Bull). George hates to return there, but James Vowles schmoozes him over, and George, known Enjoyer Of Projects, gets on board.

(GEORGE SIDE QUEST: right after George signs for Williams, silly season explodes x1000000000000000000000000000000000 because LEWIS IS COMING BACK TO FORMULA 1. and he’s COMING TO FERRARI. Carlos is still pushed out of his seat for 2025, and he still goes to Williams. the teammate relationship between these two lacks some of the easy camaraderie that Alex and Carlos have had so far. George went to Williams with Certain Expectations of his role in the team, and Carlos being there negates some of that. he’ll get over it!!!! <- mantras George thinks to himself while very much Not Getting Over It, never ever ever. George coming off of three years as Max’s teammates back at stupid bloody Williams is the Most Evil version of himself and ngl it’s hot.)

with George gone from Merc, there’s a vacancy at Max’s side. could it be Lewis? could Toto steal him back from Ferrari? but no: the ideal teammate should be young enough to not present an overt challenge to Max’s dominance within the team without this causing major friction, but should be talented and moldable enough to challenge in the near future. also, someone they can pay a low salary lololol.

enter Kimi.

he’s Toto’s pet project, a chance for him to redeem himself for not capturing Max when he was young and dripping with potential, when Merc could’ve given him a winning car right away. Kimi is keen, and excited just to be there. people compare him to Max a lot because of his age and his talent level at his age.

Kimi also knows Max well! has known him through his family connections to the team and through Toto for years. he aspires to Max for coming into the sport young and holding his own the entire time.

but. Kimi has NOT known Max as his TEAMMATE. max who still has something to prove and is not going to let this CHILD (who is definitely in the process of getting Groomed As His Replacement, who everyone thinks of as a clean slate to make up for the shortcomings of his own career) get in the way of that.

SO. this is where it gets really nasty.

Max gets it in his head that the kid needs to be taught his place in the team. he’s not going to suffer another George for however long it takes for him to finally get his title, Christ.

somehow he learns that Kimi is a virgin. maybe he eavesdrops on random rookie gossip. maybe Toto tells him. maybe Kimi admits it, embarrassed, when Max makes some kind of double entendre. but Max finds out. and he decides to use it to show Kimi that’s he’s nothing compared to Max. To put his mark on Kimi so that no matter who fucks him in the future, Max will ALWAYS have done it FIRST.

kind of like Charles and the wdc, huh.

Max lays it on thick for Kimi. supports him, throws him a bone in his post-race interviews. Max never does this for anyone, so Kimi must be really special right? that’s how Kimi feels. that’s how Max needs Kimi to feel.

so after Australia 2025, when max climbs down from the second step of the podium, he meets Kimi at the afterparty. he pours gin-tonics down Kimi’s throat, holds his neck— much slimmer than Max’s own, or Charles’s, or any other racer with real experience— and feels him swallow down mouthful after mouthful of liquor. he takes kimi to the nightclub bathroom and bites that wimpy little neck as he wraps a hand around Kimi’s cock. Tugs him off right there.

afterwards, drunk and confused, Kimi offers to suck him off in exchange.

Max smiles sharply and says, ‘have you done it before?’ and Kimi shakes his head and apologizes and says he can get more experience, and then the next time they hook up he can do it really well for him.

but Max is like ‘no, absolutely not. i don’t want you spoiled by someone else when i can have you first.’

but he tells Kimi not to suck him. instead, he wants to fuck Kimi.

‘now?’ Kimi looks really intimidated, but Max knows he’s into it.

Max tells him no, not now. he’ll fuck Kimi the next time Max wins a race.

Bahrain 2025: Max pulls a win out of that fucking car. he fucks Kimi in his private jet’s toilet. it’s impersonal and intimate and degrading in a way that absolutely has Kimi hooked.