Microfic for the prompt "Ex" for @drarrymicrofic WC: 160

"Your ex made the front page again." Ron dropped that morning's Daily Prophet on the desk in front of Harry. He glanced down, taking in the headline and photo.

EX-DEATH EATER DRACO MALFOY WINS MINISTRY PRIZE FOR HUMANITARIAN ADVANCEMENTS IN POTION-MAKING

The photo had captured Draco mid-smile. His head was turned slightly, and he was looking at something off camera, his eyes twinkling with suppressed mirth. He was wearing Harry's favourite three-piece suit, the charcoal grey paired with a lighter grey waistcoat, the one with silver threads that made a subtle scale pattern.

Harry ran his finger over the newsprint, tracing the fall of hair that almost obscured one of Draco's wintry grey eyes. Draco looked good done in greyscale.

He pulled his eyes away from the paper to scowl up at his best friend. "Calling him my ex won't get me to break up with him, you know."

Drew my faves from d&dads and all the Bad Kids 🤘😎

I feel like Ron’s the kind of dad who would embrace the whole idea of “dad jokes”, especially as his and Hermione’s kids get older. And for some reason, I am weirdly obsessed with the idea that Ron would try to embarrass Rose by awkwardly bursting into terrible renditions of “Kiss From A Rose” by Seal, which drives Rose insane, but also makes him want to do it more.

For example, Rose’s friends come over for a sleepover and as Hermione is bringing in some treats for the girls to share before turning in, Ron unceremoniously bursts into the room, holding a giant tray of biscuits, while bellowing, “BAY-BAY!!! I COMPARE YOU TO A KISS FROM A ROSE ON THE GRAYYYYYY!!!” which leaves Rose mortified, causes Hermione to stifle a laugh while rolling her eyes, but makes Rose’s friends giggle uncontrollably.

Or one day when Rose is refusing to get up even though Hermione has tried to rouse her several times, Ron practically kicks open the door, screeching, “OOOOH THE MORE I GET OF YOU THE STRANGER IT FEELS, YEAHHHHH (YEAHHHH)!!!!!!”

Or when a male friend of Rose’s (whom Ron and Hermione are positive is interested in being more than just a friend) comes round during the summer holiday, and while the two are out in the yard talking about quidditch tryouts for next year, Ron and Hugo (who is OBSESSED with this prank) run outside, screaming, “AND NOW THAT YOUR ROSE IS IN BLOOM, A LIGHT HITS THE GLOOM ON THE GRAYYYYYY!!!!”

To which Rose hollers back, “MERLINS PANTS, IT’S NOT EVEN THAT FUNNY, DAD!!!!”

Ron: well maybe you shouldn’t have killed him

Ron:

Ron: wait.