#nullid

You all probably know by now that I'm an attention seeker and that I'm willing to do anything for attention. That hasn't really changed, because that was something that was a core part of me at formation. Me being a persecutor, however, was not. That was a role that I was lured towards and then trapped in. And if anyone else tells the story, they will tell you that everything is entirely my fault and my fault only.

Because it's obviously my fault that everyone ignores my opinion on things, despite the system rule to always listen when others have a disagreement, proceed to continue doing things I actively spoke against, and then complain that I don't follow or actively break system rules.

And yes, I have broken system rules and gone against majority agreement.... because why should I listen to people who won't listen to me?

And I'm not even allowed to have a personality outside of being whatever the system (*cough* Malaika) hates. I don't have interests outside the system's. I don't have any real personality outside the cute kawaii/evil demon persona on this profile, and that's not really good, even if I want to be the "loli AAM groomer dom" I "fantasise" about being, because no-one wants to talk to someone whose only personality is being 'problematic' and 'hated' and a system member.

I constantly get pushed to actual breaking point, and then people dogpile on me during said breaking point and no-one ever addresses the issues that led to breaking point in the first place. They just force me offline or pray I get sick and tired of them and briefly disappear. And that's how things have worked for a while.

Well, I'm tired of it. I want an actual personality. And not one that my system pushes onto me, or I push onto myself to feel like I deserve to be a persecutor. And as long as I let my system dictate who I can be, I won't get anywhere.

So instead, I'm just going to leave them.

I'm not going to be related to them any longer. I'm going to forge an identity completely separate from them. Hence, I'm adopting the transIDs I listed here, and I will be actively transitioning towards them.

Plurality sucks, anyway. I just keep dissociating when trying to talk to people and it makes me look dumb. How am I supposed to talk to people when I can rarely front enough to talk once a week? (sometimes less!)

So yeah, they are no longer "my" system, I do consider myself plural any longer, and I will be actively trying to separate myself from them! Wish me luck!