#notalwaysfriendly

http://notalwaysfriendly.com/auto-tune-him-out/37072

I’m not sure which is funnier....

Simon’s reaction or the fact that the contestant wasn’t wrong. :-)

Frankly the OP doesn't have the high ground here - not when he/she is admitting they "put up" with an "annoying" friend because she has a car.

So... it's not OK to be annoying - but it's completely FINE to use someone because their car is convenient? 

(My best friend is twenty years older than I, but still very active and a lot of fun. When he asks me to be the best man at his wedding, of course I accept, and I already have a date with my girlfriend that evening when I plan to tell her the good news. But before I can speak...)

Girlfriend: “What are you doing on [date of the wedding]?”

Me: *surprised* “Well, to be honest I’m going to be the best man at a friend’s wedding!”

Girlfriend: “Crap. That was supposed to be a rhetorical question for you to say ‘nothing’ to. You can’t already be booked that far ahead! My father’s getting married that day!”

(My girlfriend only met her father for the first time recently, after she was already an adult, and they’re both trying very hard to form a relationship together. I support her fully in this, so I don’t want her to blow off her father’s wedding for my friend she’s never met.)

Me: “Well, your father doesn’t know me; maybe his wedding is going to be too emotionally charged to be the right time to introduce us? I mean, I’m not abandoning you. If you want me there I can call [Friend] and cancel.”

Girlfriend: “…[Friend]?”

Me: “Yeah, why?”

Girlfriend: “[Friend] [Friend's last name]?”

Me: “Okay, what the h***?”

(She pulls out her cell phone and hits speed-dial, holding it between us so we can both hear.)

Girlfriend: “Daddy? What’s your best man’s name?”

Voice Over The Phone: “His name’s [My Name], pumpkin. He’s really nice; I promise you’ll like him.”

Girlfriend: “I already do.”

Me: “[Friend]?”

Voice Over The Phone: “[My Name]?”

(I am moving out of an apartment where I live with several friends, and am trying to get someone to replace me on the lease. I put an ad out online, and find someone that my old roommates like. The lease transfer process involves her sending me a check for the security deposit she is taking over, and all of us signing a document saying we accept the switch.)

Me: “Hey, [New Girl], I’ve got all the signatures and everything ready to go. I’m just waiting for your check and then we’re good.”

New Girl: “Thanks! I can’t pay you right now because I just got some work done on my car, but ask me in two weeks.”

(Two weeks later I text her.)

Me: “Hi, [New Girl]. I just wanted to check with you on the security deposit check. Do you have the money now?”

(I go out to dinner with a friend, and suddenly get a flurry of text messages. I open them to find they’re all from New Girl.)

New Girl: “You don’t have to be such a b**** about it! No, for the record, I DON’T have your money and my uncle is sick and I can’t believe you’re doing this to me right now. You don’t even deserve to get the security deposit back! When I moved out of MY last place I had to just give the security deposit up and that’s the way it goes! I can’t believe you’re doing this! I don’t get money from mommy and daddy. I’m doing it all on my own! I NEED that money more than you do so why don’t you just back off!”

(A few minutes pass and she sends me another text.)

New Girl: “I called [Roommate] and she says the paperwork’s already turned in, so technically I don’t owe you anything. Haha. Oh, well. Better luck next time! See ya later!”

Me: “First off, my parents aren’t paying for anything for me either, so I don’t know where that’s coming from. Second, I actually never signed that document because I was waiting for payment. Now I’m seriously considering whether to sign it at all. I’ll talk with my roommates and figure out what we want to do.”

(Five minutes later, another text comes in.)

New Girl: “What was the account number you wanted that transferred to?”

(I did get the money, with her complaining all the while, and my old roommates still chose to live with her. Shockingly, it didn’t go well.)

Home | Boston, MA, USA

(I live with a roommate but come to the conclusion that we are not compatible enough to live together. Since we were going to move out of our apartment anyway and have plans to get a house with some mutual friends, I decide to live on my own and for my roommate to live with our mutual friends without me. I tell her my decision six months before we are planning to even look for a house.)

Roommate: “You’re just abandoning me! As soon as something better came up you just decided to throw me aside!”

Me: “I’m not abandoning you. I just feel like this is the best decision for me. You still have the others to live with. I always said I didn’t want to live with so many people and you know I don’t really get along with [Friend]. You also mentioned that you would apply for housing, in which case it’s you who would have left me and I supported that decision. I’m sorry but this is my choice.”

Roommate: “Why are you telling me this so late? You can’t just make that decision!”

Me: “I am telling you over half a year in advance! Look, I’m sorry you feel this way but I’m allowed to live on my own. We’ll still be friends. We just won’t live together.”

Roommate: “You broke my heart! Stop apologizing. It’s not helping!”

Me: “Well, apologizing is all I can do; I don’t know what else you want from me.”

(This exact conversation happens about a dozen times, with me repeatedly saying I don’t want to talk about it any longer because it’s no use. Fast forward 1.5 months, I am trying to sublet my room for the summer, which both my roommate and I agree is okay. She has already sabotaged my attempts to find a sub-letter twice.)

Roommate: “I called the landlord this morning about you trying to sublet the place and saying it was free after the summer. He said there was a wait list for the apartment so you can’t do that. You doing this is not appropriate and it’s not your place. You better change your ad because what you’re saying it wrong and you have no right!”

(I decide to call the landlord to see if it’s true and to apologize if it is.)

Me: *to my roommate* “So, I talked to the landlord and he said you never spoke to him. He also said there was no wait list and that in fact he would be glad if through the process of finding myself a sub-letter I would find a successor to the apartment. You lied.”

Roommate: “Well… I… I only lied because you drove me into a corner! It’s your fault!”

(I am at my best friend’s engagement party. I bring a case of Smithwick’s along since I know he and his fiancé usually stock mostly lite beer which I abhor with a somewhat irrational level of hatred. I make it known the beer is fair game and socialize a bit, end up chatting among a girl and a guy.)

Me: *noticing the girl has no drink* “Did you want a beer? I brought along a case of Smid’ick’s”

Girl: “No, thanks. I don’t like beer.”

Me: “You don’t like beer!? What kind of beer have you been drinking that you say you don’t like beer?”

Guy: “Dude, she doesn’t have to have a beer if she doesn’t want to.”

Me: “I’m aware of that, and some people just don’t like beer. But usually when someone says that I find they’ve only ever drank piss-water in the past, so now I’m curious. What kind of beer are you thinking of when you say you ‘don’t like beer’?”

Girl: “I’ve only really drank beer in college, and then it was usually normal stuff like [lite brands], stuff like that.”

Me: “Well see, there’s your problem. Lite beer is not beer. It’s just bad tasting water. You’ve never had a beer before. Why don’t you try a sip of this and see if you like it.”

Guy: “Man, chill out. She says she doesn’t like beer. She doesn’t have to have beer!”

Me: “You chill out. She’s only had lite beer in the past.”

Guy: “Lite beer is still beer.”

Me: “No. No, it’s not. You’re just spewing gibberish right now. [Girl], this is a fairly good basic lager. It’s not too strong. Would you like to try a sip to see if you like it better than the s*** you had in the past?”

Guy: “She doesn’t have to like beer!”

Me: “I’m not forcing her. I’m asking her. I think beer is a good thing, and if I can spread some joy to someone who doesn’t know it can be good, I’ve done my duty. [Girl], would you like to try?”

Girl: *shrugs* “Eh, why not.”

(She tries a sip while the guy basically scoffs at me.)

Girl: “Hmm, it’s not that bad.”

Me: “There, see? Real beer is pretty good.”

(About a minute passes. Conversation continues normally.)

Girl: “Actually, [My Name], could I get one of your beers?”

Me: *giving [Guy] a smug look* “Absolutely you can!”