But Jumping Fences Never Leads To Trouble!
I’m the night auditor at a hotel with a major homeless problem. Every night, it’s something or someone new.
It’s around 11:45 and I’m forty-five minutes into my shift. This man walks in, goes straight to the TV in the lobby, and feels around for the button to turn it on.
Man: “Can I have the remote?”
Me: “Do you have a room here?”
Honestly, I don’t feel like being wrong in a confrontation if the man is, in fact, a guest, so I don’t question it.
Once he falls asleep, though, that’s where I draw the line. That’s it. I yell, ‘Sir,” at least ten times and flicker the lights on and off. Nothing.
So, I get up, go upstairs, get a stray luggage cart that I know makes a ton of noise, and come back to “put it up”. The squeaky mess of a cart wakes him up as I pass him, and he looks at me like I’m the villain in his story — the evil woman that won’t let him sleep on the couch in her place of business.
Me: “Sir, you can’t sleep here. You need to go up to your room or you need to leave.”
He gets up, huffs, and walks right out the door. I watch him go off in an odd direction, not out of the parking lot at all. He goes right around the building to the pool and HOPS THE FENCE.
I go right out to the glass door and stand there with my arms crossed until he notices me. He finds my presence funny. I don’t. I unlock the door with my master key.
Me: “If you have to jump the fence, you probably shouldn’t be here.”
He feigns insanity and confusion. He’s disoriented now, his eyes are squinting, and I’m no longer funny.
Man: “I was just charging my phone.”
Me: “No, you’re not. You’re out by the pool, and there isn’t a phone. You were asked to leave and you’re sneaking around.”
He sucks his teeth; now I’m just annoying to him.
Man: “Well, can I come through that door, then?”
Me: “No. I kicked you out of the hotel. You can wait right there until the police come.”
He found a way in; he can find a way out if he wants to. Then, I close the door and walk away, already dialing the non-emergency line.
Man: “You don’t have to call the police for this! This is doing too much!”
Maybe it was, but at that point, I had to make a stand and set an example.
The cops came, and they eventually found him and served him a trespassing notice, and I got a happy, spiteful ending.
Imagine being such a POS you brag about siccing the cops on a homeless man for trying to find someplace to sleep. The descriptions of OP as not funny, annoying, spiteful, and evil fit her to a T.
