#niftious

A few weeks ago I saw some posts predicting that Niffty x Sir Pentious could be a thing in the show, and this was the first thing that came into my head.

Huh. Guess my weird ass theory's been disproven already. Welp, was fun while it lasted ig. Glad I got my sketches out yesterday. Time to pack up my crackshipping gear and speculate abt these 2 :)

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Niffty/Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel) Characters: Niffty (Hazbin Hotel), Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne | Morningstar Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Swearing, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Self-Harm, pretty mild but tagging it for filtration purposes, poor niffty is not having a good time Summary:

Varlie / Chaggie : You’re a fan of being gay, sticking to canon and keeping it wholesome

Charlastor / Chalastor : Your ideal date involves wacky hijinks, after which hilarity ensues. Also, you made a fan-child for this ship

RadioDust : You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of not wanting your dick sucked

Alastor / Husk : You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of getting dunked on

Cherri Bomb / Sir Pentious : You are a firm believer of MEN👏GETTING👏PEGGED👏

HuskerDust / AngelHusk : This is like RadioDust but you also want good things for Angel Dust and really, who wouldn’t?

SpiderMoth : Your ideal relationship dynamic is flirt/tsundere, also you’ve been around the fandom long enough to know Vaggie and Angel Dust were planned to be a couple during development

Katie Killjoy / Tom Trench : You laugh at below-the-belt slapstick comedy, or you watch anime where the main love interest is a raging tsundere

Vagastor / Vaggstor : You wish a woman would just hold her blade against your neck, and would it be too much to ask for her to slightly tilt your chin with it?

Lucifer / Alastor : One day you decided, “You know what’s better than one fucked up edgy boi? Two fucked up edgy boiz!”

Vaggie / Charlie / Alastor : Man fuck a ship war, you’re just here for a hell of a time

CharlieDust : You weren’t surprised when this didn’t show up at first, and you are a sucker for bad boys getting soft for the personification of sunshine

SirDust : You just love the thought of Sir Pentious getting blushy like a shoujo protagonist

CherriDust : You think ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ is a severely underrated relationship dynamic

RadioSnake : This is like SirDust but kinkier

Chusk / Hurlie : You love the ‘Savvy Guy and Energetic Girl’ trope

Charlie / Sir Pentious : You’re convinced a villain should take a day off from their world domination plan to have tea with the hero

CharlieBomb : You don’t understand why the preps and punks have to fight each other when they could just kiss each other

Vaggie / Charlie / Cherri Bomb : You could never miss the pun of CHARLIE’S ANGELS, also Kristen Stewart can step on you and you’d say thanks

Angel Dust / Alastor / Lucifer : You think nothing else says ‘boys will be boys’ quite like a bunch of chaotic frat boys with homoerotic tension

Tom Trench / Angel Dust : One of your favourite AU prompts is one person reluctantly going to a stripper club and falling in love with someone after a lap dance

AlZy : Ya like jazz?

Lilith / Lucifer : You aspire to have a relationship like Morticia and Gomez Addams

Lucifer / Angel Dust : You are a weeaboo who wants to fuck dads

Angel / Charlie / Vaggie : You always ship the trio of best friends in every show

Vaggie / Sir Pentious : You are a morosexual, any amount of big dummy energy from someone can and will leave you thinking about having a romantic candlelit dinner with them

Alastor / Niffty : You’re all for evil villains and their goofy, loyal sidekicks

Niffty / Husk : This is like Hurlie but with more of a height difference and the girl had a metric fuck-ton of caffeine

(26/11) EDIT:

Angel Dust / Lilith : You know Charlie’s mom has got it going on *Stacy’s Mom plays*

Husk / Vaggie : You think there is no power that brings people together stronger than the mutual hate of one (1) deer man

Niffty / Sir Pentious : You want Niffty and the Egg Bois to kickstart an official fan club, complete with embarrassing photos of Sir Pentious printed on t-shirts

Lilith / Alastor : Either you theorised that Alastor is Lucifer in disguise OR you’re favourite couple’s song is The Masochism Tango

Baxter / Niffty : You enjoy the idea of short gremlins teaming up to dismantle the corrupt hierarchy set by tall people, preferably by busting kneecaps

Angel Dust / Baxter : You’re just here for some twinks

Charlie / Niffty : You’re just here for some femmes

Cherri Bomb / Crymini : You’re just here some butches

Cherri Bomb / Niffty / Crymini : You’re just here for a whole lotta hot pink

Crymini / Angel Dust : You’re a sucker for bad peeps who don’t play by the rules

Vaggie / Cherri Bomb : You believe there’s nothing more attractive in this world than women who can fuck your shit up

The Gay Egg Bois : You’re one of those people who post pictures captioned “Yeah we gay, keep scrolling”

(6/12) EDIT:

Egg Bois / Sir Pentious : You just want good things for the Egg Bois and it involves getting shot with his ray gun

Vaggie / Crymini : You think the concept of ‘opposites attract’ is highly overrated

Vaggie / Niffty : You think the concept of ‘opposites attract’ could not be highly rated enough

Alastor / Human Alastor : You’re crippling addiction for Alastor got so bad, you had to resort to taking the phrase ‘love yourself’ to its logical extreme

(16/12) EDIT:

Husk / Arackniss : You think there is no bond that brings people together stronger than the mutual exasperation of one (1) slutty spider

(26/01/20) EDIT:

CharVox : You like the pervert/cinnamon roll dynamic AND you want to see Alastor get jelly

Vox / Alastor : You like the concept of bickering married couples, but you love the bickering aspect more

VoxVal : Your favourite dynamic is just assholes being assholes together

Valentino / Alastor / Vox : This is basically a dommy competition for who can lewd Alastor first

Crymini / Baxter / Arackniss : You ignore the main cast in favor of quirkier side characters