Just wanna talk about how sometimes disabled people can feel insane amounts of shame when starting to use mobility aids after years of being "able bodied". Like, from my own personal experience, I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of my disabilities, but I'm definitely feeling shame/anxiety about the perception of others, and also getting used to accepting the reality of my conditions. It's hard not to spiral over the idea that I could be seen as "too young" or "not visibly disabled enough" or even as "just fat & lazy" when I need to use a grocery store scooter.
I'm not sure I've seen many people talking about this aspect of disabled life, especially in instances such as my own where my disabling conditions were all either diagnosed late (mental health issues & neglectful parents ✌️heyyyyy) or their onset was late (early 20s).
But yeah, as a fat and visibly queer person, I feel as though the anxiety I have about scrutiny is a little bit more amplified, y'know? But I also know that this is likely a universal feeling, to some degree. I know what conditions I have, and as I'm puttering down the aisles in the store, I'm constantly re-rehearsing what I would say if someone stopped me to say I was too x, y, or z to be using a mobility aid in my mind.
But I know I will need to use it sometimes. Other times, I can get away with a short trip without it. It seems as though I'll have to use it more often, so hopefully the experience gets easier as time goes on. It's really impossible to state how much less pain I'm in and how much less fatigued I am overall after shopping using a mobility scooter basket, but regardless, my brain worms............. 🪱🪱🪱🪱 they tell me to worry
