Subtle signs of conditioning
Saying yes before they even completely take in the question. Saying yes even though they absolutely don't want to.
"Are you sure you want that?" "Yes." "It's okay if you don't." "No, I really do." While deep down they don't. Caretaker can kind of sense it, but Whumpee just won't budge no matter how many opportunities they are given to take back their yes.
Monitoring the emotions and reactions from people around them to predict what they want from them so they can just automatically do that thing.
Only being able to confidently belief something when they get outside validation that it's okay to believe that thing.
Tensing up when someone comes in the room, subtly adjusting their body language to fit what they think is desired. Maybe they sit up straight, stop fidgeting, fix their tired face, smile. Whatever was drilled into them during the whump.
Always aware of other people's eyes on them and always feeling perceived. Maybe even when they're all alone.
Feeling like they are not completely in their body when the conditioned behavior kicks in. Watching themselves perform the conditioned behavior and feeling like they aren't in control. A soft voice in the back of their head is alerting them that this isn't really what they think and want, but it's so muffled and far away that they hardly register it.
Dissociating during the conditioned behavior and still feeling out of it a few hours after. Then a headache kicks in that they hadn't noticed but that had probably been there the whole time.
Being conditioned not to pay attention to their body in general and not noticing their own limits.
Doing the conditioned behavior, giving into something, saying yes to something, and only realizing afterwards that wasn't what they wanted. Genuinely believing they actually acted from their true self in the moment.
Having a very fragile sense of self. Being confused about who they are. Panicking about small decisions.
Having their beliefs and feelings switch based on the people they are with, like they are an emotional chameleon. Never knowing when an opinion is truly theirs.
Telling themselves over and over again that they are not gonna do the conditioned behavior but when a trigger comes they are doing the behavior before they even notice.
Making small progress in not doing the conditioned behavior but falling back into it when they are stressed.
Falling back in the conditioned behavior when they meet someone who outwardly looks like Whumper, even though they treat them completely different.
Having a harder time letting go of the conditioned behavior around certain people and genuinely not knowing why. Picking up subtle clues from the person's demeaner that make Whumpee feel like it's safer to do the conditioned behavior. They could be accurately perceiving something subtle or they could be completely wrong about the person.
Being able to not do the conditioned behavior if they internally prepare themselves. But when a trigger comes up unexpectedly they automatically fall back into it.
Not doing the conditioned behavior and their heart immediately starts racing. They get a little dizzy and their brain goes foggy. They try to act normal, but they feel like everyone notices.
Not being able to express spontaneous emotions.
Feeling ashamed when they recover a bit and some of their conditioning falls off.
Internally panicking when someone outright tells them what to do because they already feel so powerless. Having moments where they swing the other way and actually become extremely stubborn and uncooperative.
Feeling disconnected from the people around them because the conditioning is so ingrained that that's just who other people think Whumpee is. Maybe it's even who Whumpee think they are. But deep down it feels like nobody really knows them.
