ok so can we talk about the scene where Alicent drinks the moon tea after the Criston Cole affair is exposed?? that was not subtle. she’s literally doubled over in pain, alone, no servants, just her and the consequences of a choice she wasn’t allowed to make for most of her life. and it is a choice this time. that’s what gets me. this is a woman who spent her entire youth being told to open her legs for the crown, to “do her duty,” to bear children for a man twice her age. four kids later, no one ever asked if she wanted any of it. and now here she is, older, queen dowager, still locked in a tower of expectation — and she finally chooses not to bring another life into that system. she could have had Cole’s child. legitimized it, used it politically, clung to it as proof of love or rebellion or legacy. but she didn’t. she said no. and she lives with that pain — literally, viscerally. idk. everyone talks about Rhaenyra and agency and motherhood and yeah, valid. but Alicent choosing not to be a mother again? choosing herself, finally? that was the most radical thing she’s ever done. and the show didn’t even have to say a word. just a cup, alicent, and her pain and silence. girlhood really is a battlefield.
That scene was devastating because it's not just about the moon tea, but it's about Alicent reclaiming her body in a world that's never treated it as hers. It's the first time she's made a reproductive choice that wasn't for her father, for Viserys, for the crown, House Hightower, or for the realm. This time, it's for her, and the fact that she does it quietly and secretly, like you say, without telling anyone, not even Criston, without making it a moment of confession or spectacle (because she doesn't pray about it, feel guilty about it, or confess to the Seven about it) is a character development moment for her. She just drinks the tea, endures the pain, and gets on with it. Alicent has been conditioned to always endure the pain, but this time it's different, because she's not enduring something that's been forced on her: she's enduring the consequence of her own choice. It is so empowering.
Also, symbolically, Alicent refuses to be used as a vessel again by denying the chance to create another pawn for this game. She's saying: "I've already done my duty, I've borne four heirs to the crown, I've given enough, I am enough." The girl who was pushed into a marriage bed as a teenager was never given this option. Some might find this scene controversial, but I appreciate it as a long-awaited moment of Alicent's exercise of agency and ownership of her own body and mind.
I have to say, however, that even from a practical viewpoint, Alicent could not have had that child, contrary to what you're saying, because there was no way she could have legitimized it. This child, if ever born, would come out looking like Criston Cole, not his Targaryen siblings, and Alicent already knows the dangers and challenges of having illegitimate children in Westeros. I think it also says something about her view of motherhood, because she already knows how unhappy her three (maybe four) children are, and she does not particularly feel that proud as a mother, so bringing another child into this messed-up world is the last thing that she'd want. So yeah, to me, taking the moon tea was a one-way street for Alicent, the only option she had, but it nevertheless served as a moment for her to make her own unchallenged decision, which alone is powerful.
