Are You a Homosexual?
The other members of the Squadron of Justice notice how Captain Marvel doesn’t really care for women. Like any time he’s flirted with, he immediately looks like he doesn’t want to be there.
Marvel: *saves some lady and puts her down*
Lady: *flirts with him and gives him her number*
Marvel: *immediately looks weirded out and scurries off to the other Squadron members*
Spy Smasher: *rubbing his chin* “Hmmmm…”
or
Marvel: *dodges a woman’s kiss and floats behind Bulletman and uses him as a human shield*
Woman: *tries to round Bulletman so she can get to him*
Marvel: *moves Bulletman so he can block her again*
Bulletman: *rubs his chin like Spy Smasher* “Hmm…”
Unfortunately, they drew some conclusions of their own. Like, Minute-man proposed that he was afraid of women. Pinky proposed that it’s a cultural thing. He mostly said that because they all weren’t quite sure Marvel was a human and were like fifty percent sure he was an alien. Eventually though, they all reached a consensus. So, they sat Marvel down at a bar, and decided to have a chat.
Mr. Scarlet: “Cap, buddy, you know you can tell us anything, right?”
Marvel: “Uh… Yeah?” *sipping a virgin piña colada*
Bulletman: “Great. Great. And you know we wouldn’t judge you, right? I mean, it’s 1952. We’re in modern times for Christ’s sake.”
Marvel: “I guess?” *sounds confused*
Spy Smasher: “Wonderful so… we’re gonna ask you something. And you gotta promise not to freak out, okay? Because remember. We will accept you no matter what.”
Marvel: “Okay?” *sip on his drink*
Mr. Scarlet: “Greaaaaaat. So…” *is wondering how to phrase this, but just decides to rip off the Band-Aid* “Are you a homosexual?”
Marvel: *chokes on his own spit* “WHAT?” *looks so confused*
Bulletman: “Calm down. Calm down. Remember, we said we wouldn’t judge.”
Marvel: *speechless, trying to find words* “I- NO???”
Spy Smasher: “Marvel, you don’t have to lie. We see the way you act around women.” *pats his shoulder*
Marvel: “Wha- I-” *feels blindsided* “So?? That doesn’t mean I like dudes!”
Bulletman: “Marvel, are you really gonna look us in our eyes and tell us that you’ve felt romantic attraction toward women?”
Marvel: “No! I don’t like them, but I don’t like men either!”
Spy Smasher: “What so you don’t like anyone? I find that hard to believe.”
Marvel: “Well, I don’t care if hard to believe! Believe it! Thinking about being in a relationship with a man or woman…” *shakes his head* “…It’s off putting.”
Mr. Scarlet: “Off putting…?”
Then, fast forward sixty or so years. The suspendium bubble pops and people are in the present.
Minute-Man: “Cap, I think I finally know what’s wrong with you.”
Marvel: “Wrong with me?”
Minute-Man: “Yeah, you know how you don’t like women or men and think they’re icky?”
Marvel: “Okay… I’ve never said they’re icky but sure.”
Minute-Man: “Yeah, so I know what you are now. You’re an AroAce.” *does a little hand wave at the word* “Someone gave me a pin for it.” *hands Marvel a little pin*
Marvel: “Thanks?” *looks at the pin in confusion*












