#matthew posts

Maybe other systems just have different experiences regarding this?

On our end, this only “discouraged recovery” because we were all allowed to finally feel important and like we had a life and rights and a say in what happens to us, so whenever people say integration is the way to recover we freak out because we want to stay us!

I want to stay me!

Me: yes we love boys

Justin: hnndbbdbg men

Me: yes, men

Justin: imnnn gay

Me: yes we’re both gay

Justin: but... hnnnn.... men

Me: take your time

Justin: g...ay....

Me: mhm

Justin: b-

Maybe I’m just upset and read the post as aphobia when CAHB was actually just being kinda mean?

As a trans man that has a system and is sometimes hyper sexual (it’s complicated because Oliver is hypersexual but Damean is demisexual and some of us are ace, etc.) the amount of concerned people in asks about things you’ve said regarding people like me... that you call being hypersexuality freakish... oop Oliver is kicking me out

Alright lad, you wanna know why I’m hypersexual? I was r/ped when I was nine. That doesn’t make me a freak it makes me a traumatised child. Please get a grip

I’ve not seen any of this transphobic art and fetishisation of trans men who become pregnant, but the number of asks regarding it makes me think they must be pretty bad.

I also wanna start doing cool bird of the week, where I show off bird pictures by other people!

I plan to do CBotW on Wednesday, so if you submit a bird picture to @birds-by-matthew before 7pm PDT Wednesday I’ll post your bird picture!

If no one sibmits any I’ll grab one from the internet (with credit of course if I can find who to credit)

And if multiple people submit I’ll post one this week, and the rest in the weeks to come!

I know most of you guys aren’t into birds so it’s okay if you don’t wanna interact with my bird blog lol

Let it go!

Let it go!

It’s not even that good

(Please don’t attack me for this)

You can’t even say witches or wizards without anyone immediately thinking of Harry Potter

Every single author who writes about magic schools is seen as a cheap rip off of Harry Potter and it’s not fair to them

JK Rowling keeps trying to change the story, “oh he’s gay” “oh they’re bi” STOP! You can’t change the whole damn story in post script! Besides saying dumbledore is gay and then literally not representing that at all in prequels is literally just using it for woke points

Can she just get it through her head that what she wrote was not diverse enough the first time and just write something else?

It just makes me so mad that Harry Potter is seen as some end-all-be-all for any sort of magic. It’s seen as some sort of right of passage.

I (Matthew) did some bad shit in the past.

Annika tried to rekindle an old friendship and now I want to fucking die.

Someone in a server we run had done the same shit I did and that friend went off about how they couldn’t see past that and they should be banned from the server.

They also accused my best friend of gaslighting then, when from my perspective he was just asking a question.

Collin says I need to get my feelings out so I don’t become more self destructive again so here I am I guess...

I don’t want to go into detail about what I did. I was a persecutor. I’m not anymore. I regret everything I did at that time. I’ve apologized to the people I hurt, and I didn’t do anything to anyone outside the system.

The friend saying that shit about the person and being so... I don’t know..

Them saying that put me back in a really bad place emotionally.

Right now all I want to do is punish myself for what I did. I wish Collin would go back to calling me a monster and encouraging me to commit but he refuses as per usual.

Collin split off of me once I started breaking down my walls, stopped lying to myself.

He existed solely to get justice for what I did.

Even Justin has forgiven me now and.. he was the most angry out of everyone.

Justin and I share a subsystem, so he was often punished for what I did...

Damean has forgiven me. We even seem to be friends now, which is... crazy.

I really dislike talking about this, and don’t ask for details unless you’re prepared to never want to speak to me again.

Sorry for this.