#luckofthedraw

It’s a Saturday and a super sunny and warm day for March in Boston.

It’s usually colder at this time of month, is what I was told.

Bryce and I are packing for our one-week stay at my grandparents house in Hawaii. They offered to fly up to Boston, but Bryce and I felt bad about them coming to us. They’re older and we felt it was safer if we just went to Hawaii instead.

I’m putting in a couple of bikinis.

Some I bought extra for this trip to tease Bryce with. That’s going to be so much fun.

I smile to myself when I hear his voice coming from the bathroom.

“We won’t be able to have any fun, are we?“ he walks out of the bathroom and leans against the doorframe of our bedroom.

“You do realize we’re staying at my grandparents for just a week right? They usually forget putting their hearing aids in so we’ll be able to have some fun. We don’t have to be quiet about it,“ I say and wink.

“Oh god,“ he mutters and his face falls.

I laugh and kiss his cheek. He just rolls his chocolate brown eyes at me.

“Good for you, I won’t be able to look them in the eye the next day. Your grandma will know we had sex. She’ll give me that look, and I’ll just blurt it out in front of everyone at the breakfast table,“ he says in a serious tone.

I can’t resist laughing at his tone.

“I’m glad this is so amusing to you,“ he replies sarcastically.

“Babe, don’t worry. We’re adults, they have no illusions whatsoever that we’re sleeping together,“ I remind him.

“Or we could just not have sex for the time we’re staying at your grandparents place. Period,“ he retorts.

“We’re going to stay for a week. Are you seriously telling me you want to put up a no-sex rule for this week?“ I look at him, trying to figure out how serious he is about this, but one look and it confirms my worst nightmares. He’s dead serious.

“That wouldn’t be such a bad idea actually,“ he says in a tone I’ve only heard him use once.

When he had to do an emergency surgery.

We were on our weekly date when he suddenly got a call and had to go.

Getting back to our conversation I’m trying to laugh it off.

“What? Bryce you can’t be serious!“ I say too stunned to say more than that.

He crosses his arms over his chest.

“That way we won’t get tempted,“ he says matter-of-fact.

I shake my head at his ridiculousness.

“Bryce come on,“ I say to his retreating back and have to almost run to keep up with his longer legs. When I catch up with him he slowly turns around.

“Please tell me you meant this as a joke or something. As you can see this is not funny. At all,“ I say.

He takes a good look at me and then says.

“Wanna make it interesting?“ he asks his eyes twinkling in delight.

“You know what I wanna do?“ I ask him instead of answering his question.

“Me?“ he winks.

“Not anymore. It was your idea to initiate a no-sex rule, which totally ruined the mood,“ I say in reply to his previous comment.

He laughs and hugs me close to him and I get all smushed against his chest.

“You’re so gullible,“ he pulls away and heads straight for the bathroom to continue to pack our toiletries

I’ll get you for that, Bryce Lahela. I smile.

__________________________________

A couple of hours later we sit next to each other and look out the window as the plane takes off. I have to lean over Bryce to see something. Every time I’m on a plane I tend to snap a photo of the fluffy white clouds passing us by.

As if it’s the first time that I’m on a plane.

Picture taken, I lean into Bryce and he drapes his arm over my shoulder.

I must’ve dozed off when I feel a gentle hand shaking me awake.

I open eyes and rub the sleep out of them with the the back of my hand.

“We’re here Lu,“ says Bryce.

We grab our backpacks and go on to gather our suitcases and to go through customs. Ugh. I hate that part. It always takes ages to go through it and I’m usually so anxious that I can’t wait for it to be over.

Finally, we got all of our stuff and near the exit.

My parents said they’d pick us up from the airport. I can’t help but stop to admire the outside of the airport.

The air feels different and full of promise. I close my eyes and let the warm salty air kiss my cheeks and ruffle my hair as if it says welcome back.

All the palm trees and the warm welcome. I breathe a sigh of relief., already feeling the anxiety slip off my shoulders like a coat.

Just being home again makes me feel more relaxed. This is something that Boston doesn’t offer.

I see my parents standing next to their black Jeep and waving us over excitedly. Well my mom waves excitedly, my dad stands and watches us with a stoic calmness, but a small smile stole its way onto his face.

I don’t give a fuck and run with my backpack and my suitcase in tow into my moms arms. She envelops me in a big hug. I squeeze her tight.

I get choked up at seeing her again and some tears leak out of the corner of my eyes seeping into her dark green cardigan leaving wet splotches behind. She smells like lavender and her favorite vanilla shampoo.

Like home.

She takes a step back and her blue eyes give me a long once over. I can’t hide anything from my mom.

I laugh and cover hands with mine, she smiles and gives me a gentle kiss on the top of my head.

My mom turns her focus on Bryce.

“Don’t think you can escape a hug just because you’re standing off to the side, Bryce “ she says only to deliver on her promise.

Bryce laughs and just lets the hug be.

My dad is a man of a few words. He stood silently next to my mom watching me and as he takes our suitcases and backpacks and puts them in the car he says.

“Welcome back home moon-beam,“ I squeeze his arm.

“I’m happy to be back again. We’re going to have so much fun. I can’t wait to soak up some sun and eat all the shaved ice at Waiola that I can get my hands on,“ I say and Bryce just chuckles at my enthusiasm.

We drive in comfortable silence through Honolulu. I slide the window open and put my head outside to just let the scenery unfold in front of me.

Setting my eyes on the sea and its roaring waves, as we pass Waikiki beach. People milling around. Surfing. Swimming. Children playing in the sand. Basically having a wonderful time.

The skyscrapers are passing us by as we drive out of downtown and into a quieter area of Honolulu.

Both my grandparents and parents live close to Kailua beach. My favorite place on earth. Next to Manoa Falls probably.

My mom turns her head in the front seat her blonde hair falling to the side.

“Was your flight okay?“ she gets a worried crease between her eyebrows, and Bryce right out says with a smirk,

Which makes him laugh harder and my mom joins in. My dad scans me in the rearview mirror and grins. His brown eyes shining with mirth.

“You’re all liars. I don’t drool or snore,“ I pout.

“I think my shirt would disagree with you on that,“ he teases me.

I stick my tongue out at him.

“I won’t share my shaved ice with you”; I promise him without meaning it.

“My body is a temple. I don’t do too much sugar,“ he replies pointing at himself and grins.

I raise a quick eyebrow.

“Right. That’s why you brought some apple pie last night and ate it all by yourself Mr. my-body-is-a-temple”, I say, the laughter in my voice evident.

“As a doctor I’d disagree, apples are healthy. So it doesn’t count,“ he says and just looks at me and I shrug in reply.

”You’re a surgeon,“ I point out.

”Same thing,“ he shrugs and smiles.

“You two are something else,“ my moms voice breaks through the clouds of our conversation.

“But good right? Not weird?“ Bryce asks uncertainty tinging his voice which makes me look at him in question.

My mom shakes her head.

“You’re like a son to me, Bryce, and I love you no matter what,“ my mom says smiling adoringly at him.

He smiles sweetly and shifts uncomfortable in the backseat.

We all smile and continue on our way to my grandparents house.

I remember its white paint giving the house an external glow. With a dark grey roof. And some dark brown wooden chairs assembled around the garden, with colorful throw pillows that add a splash of color to the place.

As we arrive the first thing I notice is the new grey stone pathway lining up to the house. It’s big oval shapes giving the place a homey feeling. Palm trees as far as the eye can see.

Soft sconces of lights are illuminating the porch and the main part of the house.

Hibiskus flowers planted by my grangran. One she let me help her plant. It’s grown so much over the years. Carefully taken care of.

The house consists of two parts one part is the main house. The other is the small pool house, which is usually reserved for guests. Our family is big so not everyone fits into the main house.

But there’s no sight of grangran or grandpa. I try to see if they’re somewhere off to the side enjoying some tea on the porch. But no one’s out.

Did they already go to bed? But it’s early even for them.

I eye my parents curiously but they both just exit the car and get our stuff out.

“Um what’s going on here?“ I turn to get my car door open and Bryce and I stand on the freshly cut grass.

“Your grandparents thought it’d be good if you had the place to yourself. They went to visit some friends during the time that you’re staying here,“ my mom explains the empty garage and the stillness of the usually lively home. Overflowing with laughter and bad jokes - mostly from dad and my cousin Sky.

The drinks and food that keep coming when we’re all together.

“Tell me they didn’t leave their giant home just because we’re here. Mom there’s enough room for everyone…“ I stop when my Dad puts up a hand to make me stop talking.

“They offered moon-beam. They wanted you to relax. They have their routine and they know you have yours. You’re supposed to relax and that’s what they wanted for you. Just take it. You know your grangran would be angry if you refused to accept,“ he says.

I close my mouth with a snap and eye them curiously.

“Alright if it’s really okay with you guys,“ sounding unconvinced even to my own ears.

“Have fun Looney. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t and please if something breaks replace it. So your grangran won’t give me hell,“ my mom winks.

My face must be beet red and I try to hide the fact that my parents just said, have sex but if furniture breaks it’s on you guys. I’m not taking the blame.

“Mom!“ I say looking down, not able to look at her directly.

My mom’s twinkling laugh reverberates in the quiet night and she just blows me a kiss.

Bryce smiles but doesn’t say anything to our little exchange. He gets our suitcases and I grab his backpack.

As soon as we have our things my parents jeep roars to life and they drive carefully out of the driveway. Leaving us alone.

I wave at them and then you can see the taillights getting smaller in the distance. I’m still standing on the grass, overlooking Kailua Beach. Cicadas singing their evening song, making me feel at ease.

I enter the house and see Bryce setting our things down into one of the three guest bedrooms.

“This feels weird don’t you think?“ I ask him following him inside the bedroom.

“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,“ he replies as he puts our suitcases in the corner of the room and I relieve my back from the backpacks. Rolling my shoulders.

I’ve missed my grandparents house.

Especially this room. With its white painted walls. The white soft curtains billowing in the soft breeze. The furniture my grandfather made himself. You can see the details on the woodwork. It’s exquisite.

But the best part is the bed, it’s craftsmanship is unbelievable.

“You’re eying that bed as if you can’t wait to get into it,“ Bryce comes up behind me and kisses my neck.

“You know I love me a good bed, but I was actually admiring the craftsmanship of the bed and the details…“ I don’t get to finish.

“I can show you some other craftsmanship…and even some details,“ he says his voice dipping lower.

I turn my head to see his face and I can’t wait to try out this bed.

“Aren’t you glad that we banned the no-sex rule that you kept insisting on?“

More and more of our clothes are landing on the floor.

“Are you kidding? That would’ve been the worst idea I’ve ever had,“ he says and I just laugh.

———————————————————

The next morning is pretty uneventful. I open my eyes to see that i’ts still early in the morning. Turning my head I look at the clock on the night stand, saying it’s 7.30 in the morning. It’s way too early.

I turn back and lie around in the soft bed, feeling the cool sheets on my bare skin. Searching around for Bryce’s soft and warm skin right next to me.

All I can find is a piece of paper.

I sit up and read the few lines he wrote in his beautiful handwriting. Who said you can’t decipher doctors handwritings?

“Gone surfing. Bringing back breackfast. I know I’ve tired you out last night ;)

I just shake my head at his comment. He’s incorrigible but I wouldn’t have him any other way.

I get up stretch my body and get dressed to get some coffee and to just sit outside. Enjoying the the crisp morning air. This is amazing.

Just waking up to this view every single day? Damn I missed it. I am happy with Bryce and the way things are now, but I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if we moved back to Hawaii?

I sigh sipping my coffee in silence. All these emotions swirling inside me. I know I’ll have to tell Bryce how I feel.

But how I can bring this up? Oh yeah by they way I really want to move back to Hawaii. Can you hand me the salt?

Yeah that’ll go over well.

I sigh deeply.

__________________________________

That’s how Bryce finds me later. On the porch sipping coffee.

He is walking up to me. His black trunks clinging to his body and as he comes up the steps he puts down his surfboard and leans it onto the wall.

He leans down and gives me a light kiss.

He smells like the ocean. Crisp and clean.

Making me smile against his lips. He puts down a box that smells heavenly like fried sugary goodness.

“Did you have fun?“ I ask him smiling up at him.

He grins and takes my mug to take a sip of coffee and when he puts it down he says.

“Oh man the waves were amazing. I’ll take you tomorrow,“ he says and walks inside. I sense that he wants to say more but he holds himself back,

I get up and follow him inside.

He puts the box down on the counter.

I can see the cursive writing on the box and know instantly that it’s from Leonard’s bakery. My favorite.

I make huge eyes and I open the lid of the light turquoise box. The smell wafting to me is a sweet-tooth heaven. Cinnamon sugar and sweet dough. Licking my lips I can already taste it.

“B did you go all the way to Waikiki to get these?“ I ask incredulous that he would go so far out just to get me malasadas from Leonard’s bakery. You hadn’t been to Hawaii if you didn’t try out of one these babies.

I moan as I take a bite.

“Oh my god…“ is all I’m able to say right now.

Bryce laughs.

“So I was right that you’d crave these. Also you’ve got something right here…“ he swipes some sugar from the corner of my lips.

“If you don’t make a mess while eating, you didn’t really enjoy your food. At least that’s what Sky says,“ I reply and my tongue darts out to lick away the remaining cinnamon sugar from my lips.

“I was actually going to ask you if your cousins are up for some dinner later this week?“ Bryce asks disappearing down the hall inside the bathroom.

I get my phone from the white marble counter and shoot my cousin a quick text, asking them if they’d be down for some dinner.

Sky texts back immediately.

“Sure Lunes. We’re busy with work until seven. After that we’re free. We could go to Duke’s Waikiki. I know you love that place.“

“Sure sounds great. We’ll meet you there :)

The best thing about being home is that you can enjoy all the places that you’ve gone to so many times, b, the nostalgia really hitting you.

__________________________________

Bryce and I decided to visit Manoa Falls.

There’s a beautiful trail leading to the spectacular waterfalls.

Fifteen minutes later we’re out the door. We packed a basket full of food and some drinks and we’re headed to Manoa Falls. I even brought my paint tubes, some small canvases and paint brushes.

It’s lovely outside and we can spend some time in nature.

Lately everything I paint doesn’t feel right. Maybe I’m lacking inspiration.

That‘s another thing I haven’t told Bryce.

I sigh as we walk towards the waterfalls. My shoes are kicking up some sand and we walk next to each other in silence. Usually our walks are filled with animated conversation, but ever since we arrived in Honolulu we don’t seem to know what to say to each other.

I’m scared. What if he doesn’t want to be together anymore? Is it something I did?

”Lunes?“ I distinctively hear his voice and look up to see we‘ve arrived.

I was so busy with self-doubt I didn’t notice we’ve arrived at my favorite place.

The waterfalls are nestled in this big rock and surrounded by all kinds of plants growing beside it.

The waterfalls are what really makes it worth coming here.

I admire the view and feel tiny droplets of water hitting my face.

Bryce offers me his hand as to not fall. The rocks are pretty slippery from the water and the moss covering some parts of the rocks.

We find a a part to sit down and just enjoy the silence. Birds are chirping, creating a beautiful melody.

We sit in silence and take in the scenery.

Bryce is enjoying the sunlight and I get out a canvas and start drawing with charcoal. Which is my go-to, before I add the colors.

Bryce doesn’t even notice that I’m drawing him.

”I can feel you staring at me,“ he opens one eyes and grins.

I smile back.

”Shh I’m getting inspired,“ I say. 

He laughs and that’s how I capture him on the canvas. This moment right here, right now.

We spend the entire time here until it gets dark.

————————————————

The next few days unfold in a nice routine. We’ve already settled in. It just feels nice.

Spending all of our time at the beach or at home.

So my brain can finally relax a bit. Not having to worry about my stupid job that I quit.

Although I know I’ll have to think about a new one as soon as we get back home to Boston. Why does it feel as if my feet are made from cement, preventing me to even move an inch, when I think of going back to Boston?

There’s a silver lining I can catch with up what my family has been up to. It’s insane how things can change in a span of a couple of years.

At the end of the week Bryce and I get ready for dinner with my three cousins.

We get dressed together. I put on a black silk dress with a slit on the side. I know this’ll drive him crazy. I smile wickedly.

I take my black clutch and turn of the light in the bedroom.

I turn around the corner of the hallway and see Bryce standing against the counter with the keys to the car dangling from his fingers.

He’s wearing a dark blue button down shirt and some jeans with holes in both knees.

Why do I find this incredibly sexy? Gosh everything about him turns me on.

”Someone’s looking good,“ is the first thing I say out loud.

He turns around and let’s out a low whistle and as I get closer to him he tugs me towards his chest.

”Maybe we should cancel dinner. We could stay in, take that beautiful dress off…“

I rub my hands down his chest and lean into him.

”How about we save that for later?“

He sighs.

”You always ruin my fun. I can’t wait until we get home,“ he pouts.

I kiss him loudly and he smiles again.

”Let’s go handsome,“ I nudge him forward and we get into the car and drive to the restaurant.

—————————————————

As we arrive at Duke‘s Waikiki I scan the guests for my three cousins. When I see Evie waving us over excitedly, we make our way over to the table they‘re sitting at.

I slipped off my sandals wanting to feel the cold stone tiles beneath my feet. Torches illuminating the restaurant. Giving it a great vibe.

Bryce and walk hand in hand and get greeted with hugs by all of my three cousins.

Soraya smiles cheekily at me.

”I’m surprised you’re not late. So pay up Sky,“ Soraya holds out her hand expectantly.

Skyler sighs and puts a 20$ bill into her outstretched hand.

Soraya takes it and holds it under her nose, her eyelids fluttering.

”The smell of victory,“ Soraya replies.

”Do you have to make a show out of it?“ Skyler asks his voice annoyed.

”If you have to ask you don’t me well Sky.“ 

Soraya just snorts, but gives him a light kiss on his cheek.

Meet my cousins everybody. Smiling adoringly at all three of them.

Evie and Soraya both look stunning in their outfits. As does Skyler.

Evie is wearing a light pink off-the shoulder dress, with a pink belt around her tiny waist.

Her dark brown, shoulder length hair playfully applied in beach waves. Her green eyes illuminated by the candles flickering on the table.

Soraya laughs at one of Skylers jokes. Making her lean forward in her jeans and her red blouse, with thin spaghetti straps. Her blonde hair in a tight knot.

Skyler snickers, his blonde hair falling into his face and he pushes it back. Revealing some of the tattoos that are covering his body.

He decided on a a black shirt and left a few buttons open, revealing his chest where you can see more tattoos peeking out, he put on some black jeans and stretched out his long legs to the side.

—————————————————

Bryce

I’m only half-listening to Skyler, I’m busy watching Luna. I can see she and her cousins Soraya and Evie are having an intense conversation.

Hopefully she can open up with them. About what’s bothering her. Since she can’t do it with me.

I try to not let it affect me, but it hurts me deeply that she doesn’t come to me if there’s something she’s struggling with.

—————————————————

Luna

We chat amongst ourselves, enjoying the view of the sea and the soft night air.

I‘m starting to get shivers and Bryce leans into me and rubs my arms up and down to get me warm. Kissing the top of my head.

”Seriously. Make it stop. We get it you’re in love,“ Skyler mumbles.

”Leave them alone Sky,“ Evie chimes in after taking a sip of her white wine.

We all laugh and continue with our evening. I haven’t felt this relaxed in a long time and I can tell Bryce feels the same way.

As much as we’d all like to stay all night, I know all three of them have to be up early tomorrow morning.

We decide to talk soon and we all leave in our separate cars and drive home.

The ride home happens in silence. Neither of us saying much. It’s awkward and uncomfortable. Both of us hanging on to our own thoughts. Letting the evening dinner replay.

We arrive home and decide to just go to bed. Not feeling up to it to share a night of passion.

I already miss him. As if there’s this wide gap between us. We’re both trying to reach out with our hands stretched out but only able to reach the other.

We lie next to each other, but we could also be lying in separate rooms. That’s how far we’ve drifted apart.

I close my eyes and try to go to sleep.

—————————————————

After tossing and turning for the hundredth time in bed I open my eyes. I know I won’t be able to sleep anymore.

That’s when I notice Bryce isn’t lying beside me. The bed is empty.

I look around but only see an empty bed and sheets seemingly tossed to the side.

With the moonlight peeking through the blinds I let it guide me through the house.

The door that leads to the porch is slightly ajar.

I open it further and see B sitting outside in one of the rocking chairs. Rocking back and forth.

”B? What are you doing up?“ I ask walking bare footed along the white wooded porch until I reach him.

He turns around and I can’t make out his expression. Which is weird, because I know him so well I can always tell what’s going on in that pretty head of his.

I let my fingers slide through his hair and he closes his eyes. As if he missed my touch and can’t get close enough to me. Craving more.

He gets up and my hand falls down. I eye him confused.

”Come on let’s go for a walk,“

Bryce says standing in front of me and holds out his hand.

”It’s 2 am…“ I grab it and intertwine our fingers together.

”Who cares Lu. If we want to take a walk at fucking 2 am, who’s going to stop us? The 2 am police?“

Taken aback by his words I gulp down what I wanted to say.

”I’m sorry Lunes I didn’t mean to snap at you it’s just…I think it’s high time we had a talk. Don’t you think?“

I nod at him and together we walk down the steps of the porch and walk to the beach and just let the sound of the waves surround us as we try to approach all the things we’ve been running away from.

—————————————————

”Something is bothering you,“ I hear Bryce’s voice to my left.

My pulse is beating rapidly at the base of my neck. What am I supposed to say to that?

I feel his warm hand on my back. His presence is like a warm embrace.

I sigh while looking out at the ocean waves rolling in and trying to decide how to get rid of this nagging feeling inside my chest.

”I…no it’s fine it’s nothing,“ I reply putting my arms around myself.

”You do realize that I’ll keep asking until you tell me,“ he says in a serious tone. I turn my head to look at him and only see a concerned Bryce staring back at me, though from the tone of his voice you couldn’t detect that he’s concerned.

But his eyes betray him.

I lick my dry lips and rub arms with my ice cold hands. Suddenly feeling anxious.

Ever since we came to visit my family I feel more anxious if I think that in two days we have to go back to Boston again.

I draw circles in the sand with my tennis shoes, a little bit of sand getting on top of my shoes and I shake it off.

”Is it because we have to leave again?“ he asks quietly.

I look at him again and a faint smile slips onto my face.

”I can’t keep anything from you, can I?“ voicing my thoughts aloud and his smiles mirrors mine.

”Well I know you on a deeper level. I can just tell when something’s on your mind. Wanna tell me?“ he asks not trying to push me for an answer.

I breathe out and say what’s been bugging me since I quit at the art gallery.

”It hasn’t been working so well for me at the art gallery. It was a toxic work environment. Where people stifled any sort of creativity especially if it gained them something in return. Money to be exact. That’s why I quit. I couldn’t go to work anymore. Feeling as if didn’t belong there. I didn’t feel like I was good enough to be there. And that’s the worst feeling in the world, when you feel as if you’re not enough. I tried to be nice and to adjust but all I got in return was condescension. I…“

I stop myself and Bryce puts his arm around my shoulder and I lean into him inhaling his clean laundry smell and the scent that always clings to him that’s intoxicating to me.

”Let me guess you want to move back here,“ he mumbles into my ear. I turn to face him directly and see the sincerity in his chocolate brown eyes.

He continues by asking me. 

”For how long did you want to move back to Hawaii?“

I almost look away but then I realize it’s Bryce and I don’t have to hide from him.

”For months now.“

He leans his cheek onto my hair and sighs deeply. Just standing there and not caring about anything. Like our personal little bubble where no one can touch us.

”Why didn’t you say anything, Lu?“

”Because you’re so happy and I felt selfish for thinking of going back home while you want to stay in Boston,“ I finish looking out at the sea for a second. The salty ocean breeze kissing my cheeks.

His voice takes me back and I turn my head back to him

”Would you be mad, if I said I wanted to go back too?“

My mouth hangs wide open at his admission making me stumble around for words.

”Really? You never…

He just shrugs looking down at his black vans, which are such a contrast to the pale sand.

”I thought you were happy in Boston and found your niche at the art gallery…“ he leaves the sentence hanging in the air.

I make a frustrated sound in the back of my throat and reply

”I hate that stupid gallery. I tried adjusting, but I miss the sea. It always calms me down when I have a bad day. In Boston you only have grey pavements and busy people. It feels different somehow. Colder. Detached.“

He nods slowly at my words as if he understands completely what I mean. In a way he does. He’s from Hawaii too. It probably took him some time to get used to a new city, to new people and everything else that comes with it.

”I know how you feel. I just didn’t want to uproot you again. You moved to Boston because of me, and now we want to move back? It feels like we don’t know what we want,“ he says.

I get frustrated. Because honestly? It’s none of anybody’s business how we live our lives. We are the ones who make the call. If they don’t like it well too bad.

”So what if we move back? Who’s going to judge us? We do what we feel is right, and everyone else can just back the hell off,“ I say.

He gives me that smirk that’s reserved only for me. He gets closer and puts his hand on my neck and tilts my head back. I grin up at him. I can’t help it. I love him that much.

”You know it’s really hot, when you get all fierce like that,“ he says his voice getting deeper.

I grin wider but then I shake my head and say ”Focus,“ I intertwine our hands together.

He smiles and gives me a deep kiss and after a few seconds he says out of breath.

”I’m very focused,“ he gives me another kiss. This one slower making me crave more.

I step back and instantly miss the feeling of his soft lips on mine.

”On our conversation Bryce,“ I say.

He laughs

”But I am. I’m just a little distracted right now,“ he replies looking at me and wiggling his eyebrows.

”By what?“

I look down and don’t get it. I wear an old ratty shirt, that’s full of paint stains that didn’t all get out. My hair that could use a nice hair mask and some pampering; instead it falls limply in soft waves around my shoulders, framing my face.

I just stop and stare at him until he sighs and concentrates on our actual conversation again.

”So what are we going to do?“ I ask not able to come up with a solution that’s going to make everyone happy.

He lifts our interlaced hands and gives my knuckles a kiss.

”I talked to my boss and she said I should do what makes me happy. I can always visit my friends but if my hearts not in it I should do what feels right. Honestly this place right here and right now? It feels more like home then our apartment in Boston ever did. Not that I didn’t enjoy living there it’s just…something’s missing,“ he finishes saying and I cup his cheek and reply.

”We could just stay here, and make this our permanent home. We’d also be closer to our families. Keiki could go to college here. They have a great vet program. Or she could go overseas to study.“

He smiles sweetly at me.

”Have I ever told you how amazing you are with Keiki? You treat her like family. That’s all I ever wanted,“ his words sending a bolt of warmth straight to my heart. I smile warmly at him.

”That’s because she is family.“

We both share a knowing smile. No words needed between us. Everything’s okay again. It’s as if a big big has been lifted from my heart and I breathe more easily again.

”All we need to do now is focus on the details and all the arrangements if we really want to make this work,“ Bryce says and together we walk back to my grandparents home discussing everything we need to move back to Hawaii.

And you know what? As afraid as I was of having this conversation with Bryce I shouldn’t have been. He’s more than enough for me. I don’t need more than that. Family. Some good food. My art and Bryce. That’s all.

As my dad would say. You should treat love like a flower, give it some light and some water and you’ll see it’ll grow into something magnificent in no time.

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