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From your death
I found comfort in being alone. I found safety in my family. I found love for myself. I found friendships in old friends. But I also found Sadness. Heart break. Discomfort. Disconnection. Vulnerability. Your death wasn’t supposed to happen. You were supposed to walk out of the hospital. You were supposed to be here for Ezra’s 2nd birthday, our Moonrise festival, your birthday, your…
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Eulogy
As I sat trying to write something over and over again I thought to myself “how does one distill a lifetime of memories into a 5-10 minute eulogy?” and the answer is you can’t, but you can give it your best and this is my best. As some, if not most of you know that I had a very rough childhood & a absent father after I turned 12 ~ uncle klyph and a few other important men in my life stepped up…
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It has been an extremely long six months since our mother was cruelly taken by covid-19 so yesterday we had a sibling day to pay our eternal respects to our dear beautiful.mim, may her soul be resting in peace.🙏🏽❤ #familyfirst #tribute #lostlovedone #testinpeacemum #love #heartache #missyou https://www.instagram.com/p/CSV-OTUKTkN/?utm_medium=tumblr
I can finally show this on here. I've avoided social media sharing as I initially made this as a gift for my sister. #memoriam #blueicicle #chruistmasgift #lostlovedone #lasirenadesign #lasirenasentiments #lasirenagiftshop #etsy #etsyseller #mommymaker #makersgonnamake https://www.instagram.com/p/CI8hmMrHEuX/?igshid=zx57fq9zdobt
If you could share your nachos with someone, who would it be?
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What is the number one thing you need now that you don't have?
Self-Realignment. Forgive myself. I need to let me take importance in the things I once saw important. Self-Importance.. I realized this the other day as I was talking to Ronan about a method of playing MTG without land cards that I am still carrying around the guilt over losing Mike. Because of the type of person Mike was and his quirks, nature, and certain habits, I realized I was sub-conciously doing them. For instance, we were always late to appointments and events because he would randomly start new games or project and or not be prepared with packing.. I found myself being lenient or even pre-excusing my tardiness. I feel I have not fully let go of my guilt and that is why it is hard for me to prioritize and take responsibility for myself to move on… I struggle with going back to the gym.. I struggle with getting to work on time.. I struggle with attending social gatherings. I struggle with sticking to what I want to finish and have become prone to starting new projects… I need to forgive myself of the idea that I let Mike down and move on with my life because nobody can live mine for me and I cannot have expected to live Mike's life for him therefore I should not penalize myself for his death.
Two years ago today was one of the hardest days of my life. My life isn't the same with him gone. I try to see the humor and the silliness in each day as he used to. I give the grand babies extra hugs and kisses for him because I know he would be stealing all their sugar if he was here. I laugh at the moments that I get tickled with them for ordinary things because I used to get a kick out of him doing this. It is definitely a grandparent thing. I know he's up in heaven looking down and pointing and laughing at everything the great grand babies do. I miss you and love you Dad. This poem spoke to me recently and there is only one line that I would change in this instance. #grieving #lostlovedone http://ow.ly/a7TK30dDaRu (at Krafty Headquarters)
