#lisbeth rambles

the earth might be healing because yes!!!! Finally some media literacy!!!

That's why I'm wary of people calling TFOTA a bullies to lovers. Because yes there's a school setting and yes Cardan participated in making Jude's life a nightmare, but some things to consider in no correct order:

1. The meanness was originally targeted towards Taryn, because Cardan and Nicasia knew that Locke was courting her to play with both their hearts. Nicasia was retaliating because Taryn was taking her man, and Cardan because Locke was hurting and insulting him and the person he loved (Nicasia) by stealing his girl (Nicasia) and then throwing her away for a mortal girl (Taryn). What they did was wrong and *fae*, but it wasn't bullying just for the fun of it, it only started as a means of retaliation to frighten Taryn, and Jude got the worst of it because Taryn wouldn't be honest about what she did, Locke thought it would be fun to try to have both sisters, that angered Cardan/Nicasia even more, and Jude was taking no bullshit. Yes we can call it bullying, but let's not present it as just Cardan's group being cruel to the twins since forever and/or starting it unprompted. That's just not how it actually went. It started because powerful faeries felt threatened enough by 2 mortal girls!! And that's part of the theme of TFOTA!

2. Cardan has a kind heart that's been beaten into being cruel.

His mother left him to suckle on a cat's tit instead of her own as a baby, dressed in royal clothes worn out to drags.

His elder brother (Dain) tricked him into a twisted game that ended with Cardan taking the blame for the murder of the king's mortal lover instead of Dain.

The court only allowed him back in because Nicasia took a liking to him when he was cruel.

The brother that educated him (Balekin) and watched over him as a parent would beat him up into submission and cruelty, constantly comparing him to low-status humans and charming them to beat him up as a punishment for weakness. But he never fully beat the kindness out of him: Cardan *has* been snuggling mortal servants out of his manor, and even though he hated Jude for being a lowly mortal loved by Madoc, the urge to care has always been stronger than the desire to be cruel, and he's stepped in whenever things were going too far in front of him.

That doesn't erase the cruelty and violence he's shown, but this is what separates him from someone like Valerian who always enjoyed the violence and would have never changed. Because out of that environment that asked of him to be cruel to be loved and respected, Cardan can actually grow into a version of himself that's kinder and truer to his nature!

3. It was more of a one sided enemies (Cardan had beef with Jude for being basically what Balekin wanted him to be sword-wise and having a great relationship with her dad, all of that despite being a mortal)/unrequited attraction (Cardan had sexual fantasies about Jude) to bullies to reluctant allies to enemies (where Jude has literal control over him) to lovers and one sided enemies (this time Jude thinking he's betrayed her) to lovers lmao. And I think it's important to mention, because Jude never loved Cardan in his bully era, and only started to feel attraction towards him when she had power over him. The love story isn't about a hot bully realizing the nerd he's bullying is actually cute and *therefore he shouldn't bully*TM, but about two persons that society pitted against each other realizing they can love one another when they get themselves out of those toxic social constructs.

4. TFOTA has romance in it, sure, but the story is about Jude coming to terms with her parents' murder by Madoc and her being raised as his daughter in Faerie! The romance with Cardan is a subplot that feeds into the theme (which is that Jude doesn't win against the fae by becoming more fae (cruel) than them, but by understanding their world and still choosing to be human when it matters — and it's demonstrated by Jude defeating Madoc the way he's taught her (the fae way) and still choosing to spare him (the human way), thus showing that she's above him now.) But [the romance with Cardan] isn't the main point of the book. Calling TFOTA a bullies to lovers or enemies to lovers is the same as calling the Star Wars Prequels a knight x queen romance instead of a tragic space opera.

When this is:

And this is true, no matter how fun and engaging the fish sticks line is. Choosing a line introducing Madoc as this scary cloaked figure hesitating (to kill Eva, to submit to his redcap nature) in front of his treacherous wife's house isn't innocent.

Madoc is TCP's true antagonist. He's Jude's ghost, the primordial wound feeding into the lie she's telling herself throughout the story—"If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse". That she has to give up her humanity in order to survive amongst the fae.—and the person who's truly defeated only when Jude chooses to show him mercy instead of killing him. Because the truth is, the solution was never to be worse than them, but better.

So when you read this line, as an opening line:

You have to kinda translate it to this:

"Madoc hesitates to act upon his redcap urges to get revenge on Eva, long after he's been wronged, in a place where faerie rules don't apply."

(And I would go as far as to say that he wouldn't have killed her if Justin hadn't attacked Madoc first, but that's another discussion.)

This line truly encapsulates the essence of TFOTA's main theme and I think it doesn't get enough credit as a great opening line.

First of all, Himmel confessed his love for Frieren basically in every way but verbally. He knows she's basically immortal and will understand what he meant every time he offered her a ring that symbolizes eternal love or said out loud and in her vicinity how jealous he was about some kid seeing under her skirt, even if it takes 30 years for her to connect the dots. And!!! Beyond that!!! Himmel knew Frieren was gonna fall in love with him when she went back in time and they had a shared dream illusion of marrying eacg other. So he spent many years of their journey together with this knowledge of the future: that she was gonna return his love, just too late. And same for Frieren: the marriage dream was basically a confirmation that Himmel loved her.

On the contrary, Himmel is making sure Frieren is being loved as much as possible, from his time alive to afterwards, with all the statues of him and the world he's saved for her to live in. Because Himmel is nothing if not attentive when it comes to Frieren, and he's noticed that she remembers the people she loved, even if she's bad at understanding that she's loving them.

So, no: Himmel didn't want to create distance to avoid breaking Frieren's heart. He was covering Frieren in a warm blanket of his love.

And the reason why he didn't confess is (probably) because he understands her enough to know she can't be rushed when it comes to her feelings. Literally can't.

And he's not pushing his feelings on Frieren also because he's not someone who sees love as transactional. Himmel is happy to give without expecting anything in return.

And honestly that's also very refreshing to have a female character whose femininity isn't bashed. She's not just dainty because whatever, but because that's what she's good at and what's gonna make her survive. Which is not something I read in a lot of YA.

Yes it's a bit silly and very much bro-content BUT you know me and you know I'm gonna link this to Dick Grayson.

Nightwing is the natural and positive consequence of someone who could have been Batman but has Superman's heart. Bruce and Supes are proud of him. "He's the best of us."

And, at the end of the day, he symbolizes pretty well the lesson those dudebros are learning by becoming a better hero than Batman—one who got past his childhood trauma and learnt to embrace the light too.

Which... doesnt get us really far, but reinforces that I love each one of these characters.