Makes the coffee in the morning

They love each other. They will both make the other coffee, if they’re the first ones up. Since Kili is the one more likely to stay up late not-working/playing/on social media, Fili probably has a higher chance of coffee-making duties (though not by choice).

Surprises the other with breakfast in bed Fili makes simple breakfasts, but he loves a sleepy Kili smiling at him while a tray of toast, eggs, sausage, and grilled tomatoes are placed in front of him.  <3  Kili with his hair a mess, being happy, wanting cuddles is a fave Kili of his.

Plans date night

Fili will die before he admits it, but he’s a huge romantic at heart. He likes grand romantic gestures, but those are usually in line with who he is, so it’s unlikely to be a fancy dinner at a restaurant and much more likely a home-cooked meal on the balcony which he’d decorated with candles and fairy lights. Or a stunning view deep in the mountains and off the beaten track, which he shows Kili. Things that would be *special* uniquely to them.

Can’t stand the other’s siblings N/A they are both only children, unless you count Fili’s sister-who-is-a-dog and everyone loves her

Acts like a baby when they’re sick

Kili is 10x more dramatic when sick than Fili. Fili is 10x more grumpy when sick than Kili. Fili is *fine*. He’s taken his meds. He can go to -. Okay, he’ll sit here and grumpily shoot zombies from the sofa, having picked one of Kili’s unfinished games (Screwing his perfect scores). Sick Kili will move in onto the sofa without complaint, and then probably try to work from it. But he will also probably fall asleep there within minutes, so Fili has learned to leave him to it. Once woken, he will need meds, food, copious cuddles (in that order). Repeat that for a few days and Kili is as good as new.  

Spends WAY too much time in the snack aisle while grocery shopping Fili dedicates his time in the aisle to reading the nutritional info on Each Item, trying to make Adult Decisions, while Kili is wiggling and saying, “JUST GET THE GOOD STUFF” and grabs peanut butter cups in three variations to toss on top of all the healthy stuff in their basket.  Fili has diet rules he at least TRIES to obey.  Kili has fun food in moderation don’t overthink it rules.

Takes in the stray cat

Kili is more likely to, but I bet in the end it would be Fili, actually, randomly rocking up with an injured animal. Kili of course goes into a full mamma-bear mode over this. However, Fili is also the more responsible one, so it’s likely that having nursed the cat back to health, he’d be the one to find a new home for it, since they move a lot between the city and the mountains.

Busts out the dance moves when drunk In Kili’s soul, he fancies himself an 80s dance funk breakdancing master, which thankfully comes out only when he is drunk.  Also hugely amusing and related: drunk Twister with Kili.

Drives 600 miles to see the other

Either. Technically Fili travels to the city for work in the summer, thus travelling to his Kili. However, during the winter, as much as possible, Kili talks his bosses into being allowed to do his hours remotely, so he can come up into the mountains with his Fili and stay there for weeks and months. This does unfortunately have a drawback: if there’s an emergency at the office, Kili sometimes gets recalled, and that’s how he ends up doing 600 miles inside 12 hours there and back. Such Kili is a Kili on a mission - he has been known to talk someone through a complex coding query over the phone on the train and make it back inside 4 hrs, without getting anywhere near the city.

Secretly loves nose/forehead kisses Kili does not REMOTELY secretly love giving nosie kisses to Fili, who has the best and most kissable nosie of all time.  And every time he kisses it, the nosie wrinkles, and reaches a state of complete perfection.  

Keeps a diary/blog

Kili has a games reviews blog and is a moderator on several coding-related forums. Some of Fili’s favourite pastimes involve distracting Kili from his duties and getting off together instead (though he doesn’t really mind Kili’s ‘nerdy’ hobbies).

Always waits for the other to fall asleep first Kili’s job is such that he often makes his own hours, which means that he lacks a proper sleep schedule and spends way too much time up in the middle of the night coordinating raids of World of Warcraft.  Fili, on the other hand, has a normal work schedule in the summer and then endless work days in the winter, meaning sleeping at night is a lovely luxury.  So Kili naturally gets to watch Fili go into sleep mode.  <3

Leaves the toilet seat up/the light on

Kili probably more than Fili, since he’s been living on his own for a while before he met the love of his life. By contrast, Fili grew up in a lodge, where a) electricity bills matter and b) you never know just where the guests might wander into.

Is too clumsy for their own good Neither of them is particularly clumsy, though Kili on top of skis (at first at least, until Fili teaches him) is an amusing sight. Though once he’s okay skiing on his own, Fili does worry about him: he’s one of those people who forever randomly lifts a leg when he’s not supposed to or doesn’t look where he’s going, but somehow usually ends up perfectly okay, with only an occasional loss of dignity.

Always gets sunburn while the other gets tan

Poor Fili is just naturally paler. Luckily, he’s also very sun-aware and knows his SPFs well. However, once he’s through the initial lobster phase, he is capable of tanning just fine, especially if he’s spending lots of time outdoors, being active. Kili just… 10 minutes and not only is he nice and brown, he’s also extra hot because it. Fili secretly hates him a little for it.

Gets cranky when they’re tired Fili.  Fili is so cranky when tired.  The dimples disappear, the nose unscrunchies, the smile turns down.  It is a very sad way for a Fili to be.  Also, he loses his cuddle mojo.  Kili tries to prevent this as much as possible.

Makes the other late for work because 5 minutes of cuddles is NEEDED

Kili is the shameless cuddler, Fili *has patients to see*!! Still, it’s hard to resist Kili’s logic, especially when it’s reinforced by those huge, sleepy eyes and general adorable messiness of his person. Kili will also have Reasons, Important Reasons, such as ‘he didn’t get sufficient cuddles before’ and won’t get any more for *hours* yet, by which point he might *die* out of lack of affection’.

Gets terrible road rage Kili, as a city boy, has done relatively little driving, so when a car is going to be toodling around it’s likely to be Fili behind the wheel.  While Fili doesn’t suffer from road rage, per se, he DOES take part in “firm road lecture,” meaning he firmly explains his displeasure with the driving of others.  This is stated firmly, clearly, and occasionally with creative metaphors to make his point.  Often, Kili’s safety is brought into this lecture, which is rather sweet.

Says “lol” at the end of every text

Kili. It drives Fili a little bit up the wall.

Texts with emojis Kili knows how to text with “proper” textspeak and emojis, as he is a computer and tech nerd and in the industry.  Fili uses full sentences with proper punctuation, but he is fond of the occasional use of the kiss while winking emoji.  Other than that, Fili’s texts are roughly equivalent to a novel in progress.

Talks dirty…

Kili tries harder, Fili is better at it. But ultimately if someone bursts into giggles while some hands are in some pants, that is no great disaster. They have learned to use it to their advantage and go with the flow.

Is more self-conscious

Hmmmm. Neither of them is overly self-conscious, but both are capable of having little moments of it. It feels like they have always been close and in love, so they don’t know how to be awkward around each other. Outside of home, Kili can be a bit self-conscious when meeting new people, Fili’s parents for example, as he’s been told he can come across rather strongly. Fili is sometimes self-conscious in another way, trying to carefully balance the Present and the Past, so he doesn’t lose who he is.

Picks all of the good stuff out of the Chex Mix

Kili is of the philosophy that ALL the stuff in the Chex Mix is the good stuff, especially when using his family’s established recipe, which involves Worcestershire sauce, Chex, roasted pecans, etc.  Fili, however, believes that roasted pecans are a food of the gods, and will selfishly pick them all out before the stuff even has a chance to cool properly.  Tsk.  To this end, Kili often just makes a tray of roasted pecans with the same mix just for Fili.

Starts the snowball fight

Fili, the little shit. And he’s had years of practice in advance, so while Kili will roar and spring into defence and retaliation, ultimately it’s likely to end up with a very soggy and cold Kili, who will complain about it, loudly, and will only be appeased once presented with a hot chocolate and some suitably contrite kisses.

Is actually scared of deep water

Neither of them is scared, but having grown up in the city, Kili is the weaker swimmer.

Takes UNO wayyy too seriously LISTEN UNO IS A SERIOUS COMPETITION OF BRAINS AND LUCK AND KILI WILL TAKE YOU DOWN, DUDE!  He is NOT playing this is not a GAME!  THIS IS LIFE.  

Steals the umbrella so the other gets SOAKED

Neither. Why steal an umbrella, when you can share one, huddle nice and close and wrap an arm or two around your loved one? Strolling under a single brolli is indisputably a romantic activity, which should be cultivated as much as possible.

Writes the other’s name in the sand at the beach Kili.  And he does this in his best calligraphy, which Fili didn’t even know was a THING until that very moment.

Apologizes first

Kili. *Can’t stand* the cross of hurt looks. His anger is more explosive (to Fili’s more cool and calculated anger), but it also burns itself out faster. He will be incredibly miserable when apologizing, he just wants the love back and cuddles. That’s the general trend, but there are also times when Fili is the one to reach out first, especially if Kili believes himself to be in the right and digs his heels in, because that could go on for *hours*.

Gives the other “the look” when they crossed the line

Kili doesn’t necessary believe in a line, though his naturally good hearted personality keeps him from wanting to hurt anyone. Fili, having working with customers from birth, DOES know about the line, and does have a Look when it’s necessary to calm Kili down - but generally, he trusts Kili to police himself.

Remembers that thing that happened 2 years, 7 months, and 24 days ago and WILL hold it against you

Either. They were brothers, it’s been their job. Though Fili is more likely to, since Kili’s sunny personality finds it easier to let go. (Not that Fili’s personality isn’t sunny, but he’s more contemplative).

Tries to teach the other sports Fili.  Fili loves winter sports, and he tries to teach Kili everything!  Kili, however, loves being warm, and isn’t as naturally graceful, poor lamb.  He does get good at snowboarding.  Fili spent some time in his teens as a competitive cross country skier.

Would make the best, most invested parent ever

Kili would be the doting parent, Fili would be the parent to ensure that their offspring survived beyond like… infancy. They’d make great dads all in all.

Could probably nap for 7 days straight

Most people would immediately answer Kili, in large part because of his job making his own hours, but Fili works hard in the winter at the lodge, teaching lessons, doing guided trips, hiking groups, etc, etc.  When the season ends, he will put aside an entire week for sleep and recovery.

Rage quits during video games

Ahahahaha, Kili. Lots of swearing from the sofa (he’s learned not to throw his controls around, those things are EXPENSIVE!) and then he’ll go away and proper, full-on sulk. See if he’ll pick that stupid game ever again. Fili, love me. Fili, what are you up to? Fiiiiiiiliiiii~ But Kili will also totally pick it up again and persevere EVEN IF IT KILLS HIM!!! Fili, on the other hand, just quits. He just gets bored and goes to find his Kili to get him through the bit that’s giving him trouble. Occasionally this turns into a proper project too, with Kili tutoring him on his gaming techniques. Funfact: Fili is also one of those people who tilt this way or that with his controller, as if it could make the character tilt or move as well. Kili finds it endlessly endearing.

Drives 20 minutes for those AMAZING chocolate chip cookies at that truck stop

Kili knows all the best places in the city to get confections, and he WILL take a walk or multiple buses as necessary.  He can drive but rarely does due to living in a city with excellent public transport links.

Holds the biggest grudges

Neither holds grudges, but see point 33. Kili *can* sometimes hold sort of grudges against inanimate objects, in the sense that he won’t trust them ever again, for example he once had a hair dryer almost catch fire in his hands and he’s never touched one since (his ends are in excellent shape!).

Writes the other a To-Do list

Kili believes that Fili knows how to Do Everything, and to that end will make Fili a lovely list instead of actually doing it himself.  :D  This is especially true when it comes to fixing things or building something.  Could Kili do it himself?  Sure.  But Fili can do it better and faster while Kili offers emotional support and cheerleading!

Is the big spoon when cuddling