just look my way | newt scamander x fem!reader
summary: (female) reader has had enough of newt looking the other way. one night she gets drunk and spills her heart out to him, telling him to just look her way.
rating: (T) alcohol consumption, angsty-ish? fluff
You would say you had no idea how you got here, but you had every idea. A wizard bar a few blocks away from the Goldstein residence, with an unknown amount of fire whiskey in your system. And even then, you could not forget the smiling face of Newton Scamander as he shared his findings with Tina.
You had come back to the apartment after a lovely brunch with Queenie and wanted to tell Newt all about the funny situation that had occurred while you were out. A man had tripped and fell into a waitress who in turn dropped the food she was holding onto another woman, who then fell off her chair. It was a whole domino effect. Much to your dismay, he was in deep conversation with Tina. Oh Tina, how you hated to love her. She was so kind to you, and almost impossible to hate. However, jealousy was a strong emotion, one that could easily overpower the strongest of people.
Newt was laughing, a rare occurrence. Tina was smiling along. While the whole situation seemed relatively innocent, you could not help the pain in your chest. That should be you, you have known him the longest. You know more about his creatures than any other soul on the Earth. You know his likes and dislikes, what can make the patient Hufflepuff tick. You knew that your heart beats for him, but you did not know if his heart felt the same. And Tina, was not helping.
The entire day was spent trying to get Newt's attention. Yes, he had responded if a direct question was asked, but often cut the conversation short to continue his talk with Tina.
"Newt, I have to tell you about what happened today!"
"Can we talk about it later? I'm discussing the Thunderbird's lifecycle with Tina."
That was how you ended up here. And can you just say, you were quite intoxicated. No one had even noticed you when you had walked out of the apartment in search of a wizard bar. You quite doubt that even now, anyone had realised you were gone.
Oh Newt. How you could go on forever. His milky complexion with freckles spread like the stars. The seafoam irises that you had learnt to appreciate oh so much due to his troubles in making eye contact. His gentle nature, the way he nurtured his creatures, the way he was there for you when no one else was. Well, except for now, because now, he was the source of your troubles.
But hell, he had no idea. It isn't like you ever told him your feelings. You can't expect the man to figure it out for himself. He was so oblivious, merlin's beard, he was so oblivious to anything that revolved around human social interaction.
"Another drink please," you grumbled to the house elf behind the bar and he filled your whiskey glass.
"I'm cutting you off after this one. Ain't a safe time to be walking around drunk, for witch or no-maj," he walked away, leaving you to your thoughts once more.
Even Newt's creatures knew how deeply you cared for him. You would speak to them often when he was busy, and it seemed they could understand what you were saying. They held their own type of love for the fluffy haired man. You especially spoke to Dougal. The demiguise understood you so well, as did you the demiguise.
With every passing second, lost in your thoughts, your head grew heavier. Eventually you had your head resting on your arms that lay across the surface in front of you. Closing your eyes, you pictured the man that was causing you so much anguish. It was almost like you could actually hear him talking to you.
"Huh?" You lifted your head quickly from your arms, regretting it as the room started to spin. When your eyes began to focus, you noticed the man in the all to familiar blue coat standing in front of you.
"Blimey, how much have you had to drink?" He raises his brows in concern, stepping slightly closer. "You have no idea how worried I've been. You're harder to find than a demiguise." Newt grabs hold of your shoulders, trying to pull you off the stool you are sitting on.
"No," you grumble, clinging onto the seat.
"What's wrong?" He sighs. "You never drink, let alone this much."
"Nothing," you turn to face away from him and back to the bar.
"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine," Newt shrugs the coat of his shoulders, placing it around yours. "But at the least, I think it's best we get you home."
"I don't want to," you shrug it off, picking up the half finished fire whiskey in front of you. Newt bends down to pick it back up off the floor.
"Come on (Y/N)," he pulls the glass from your hands and places it out of reach. "You've had enough."
"Oh, so now you care," you laugh.
"Just go home, Newt." You glance slightly over your shoulder.
"Not unless you come with me," he protests. "Please, tell me what's wrong," Newt's soft hand rests on your shoulder.
"You!" You shout, turning quickly to face him, his hand falling to his side. "You're what's wrong!"
"All day, Newt. All day I have been trying to get your attention. Because that seems to be all I want, and I honestly can't even explain the feeling myself." You ramble on, with your voice slurred and slightly louder than normal. "I want to be with you all the time. I want you to hold me and laugh with me. I want you to look my way, but you seem to be looking in every other direction. Leta's, Tina's. Just look my way." Your hands curve to gesture to yourself. "Why can't you see me? Just look my way for once."
"I can see you," Newt looks to the ground as he speaks. "Believe me when I say, I see you more than I've ever seen anyone."
"I look your way all the time. Whenever you aren't looking, I look. I didn't think you saw me. I'm awkward and have a case full of weird creatures that I get along with better than humans." His words were fast and jumbled together as he looked everywhere but your eyes.
"Really?" You stand from the stool with rosy cheeks, only to stumble forward into Newt's arms.
"Prove it," you lean in slightly. He leans his forehead on yours, while bringing his arms around your shoulders to wrap you in his far too big coat.
"When you're sober," he pulls his head back, smiling down at you. He had always loved how small you were compared to him.
"Nooo," you dragged on, arms wrapping around his shoulders. "Now." Newt chuckled at your endearing behaviour.
"Come on, love. Let's get you home."
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