#kevquin

https://statticscribbles.tumblr.com/post/639099629845233664/masterlist

Joaquin: lol okay.

Summary: Joaquin and Kevin’s relationship is a secret, as Joaquin isn’t ready to come out yet. But what happens when both of them start to slip up, and the others get suspicious? Will they be outed?

Sweet Water River

Word Count: 1.5k

Genre: Starts out angsty, ends up fluffy

Warnings: graphic descriptions of death, alcoholism, panic attacks, guns, a lot of talk about death, like alot

Read it on AO3

Note: I strayed slightly from the prompt, apologies I hope you still like it. All of Joaquin’s backstory is my headcannon. If you haven’t read my other fics, Sebastian (a.k.a. Bas or Bastian) is Joaquin’s older brother. Also I forgot how old Joaquin was so he is seventeen in this.

Kevin had really thought that he could dothis. He didn’t think that it would affect him this much. Why was it affectinghim this much? He was walking hand in hand with his beautiful boyfriendalongside the bubbling river, and he knew that he shouldn’t be thinking aboutJason. It was impossible no to though. All he could picture was the boy’s deadeyes, the hole in his head, the way his skin had somehow grown even paler withdeath, the way the water had darken his hair, making in red like blood. Kevinhad never really liked Jason, but seeing someone who had once been so full oflife and spirit, he was captain of the football team for god sakes, seeingsomeone that vibrant be completely washed out, all signs of humanity rippedaway. Kevin couldn’t take it. He just couldn’t. He didn’t realize that he wascrying until Joaquin’s thumbs were on his cheeks, brushing the tears away.

“Hey hey.” Joaquin comforted, pullingKevin to come sit down on a nearby rock. The river rose just enough to covertheir toes. “What’s wrong, Kev?” Kevin just shook his head, mind still reelingwith the memory of tripping over the dead boy. “Kevin. Kev, I need you tobreath.” Joaquin tried not to let Kevin see just how nervous he was. “Breathwith me baby.” Joaquin took a deep breath, slowly letting Kevin match his pace.He gently rubbed his hands up and down Kevin’s arms, trying to calm the otherboy.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s happening.”Kevin responded as soon as his breathing evened out. He could still feel hisheart beat racing, as if his heart was trying to escape his body. He felt likeshit. Why couldn’t he keep it together? He had seen dead people before, his dadwas the goddamn sheriff. He saw crime scene photos in his dad’s office all thetime. He could vividly remember his mom’s funeral; he remembered how she lookedall made up and calm in the silk lined coffin. Her eyes were closed, though.Jason’s had been open. Kevin had looked into Jason Blossom’s dead eyes. He hadstood beside Sweet Water River, just looking into those eyes while Moose calledKevin’s dad. “His eyes were so lonely Joaquin. How could someone dead look solonely?” Kevin finally looked up from his trembling hands to make eye contactwith Joaquin.

“I don’t know Kev, I really don’t know.”Joaquin ran a hand through his hair, trying to decide if he was ready to sharethis with Kevin. He took a deep breath, “I want to tell you about my family.”Joaquin mumbled, taking Kevin’s large hand in his smaller one. “But I think weshould probably get out of here first.” Kevin nodded, standing up and wrappinghis arm around Joaquin’s waist before beginning the walk back to Kevin’s dad’struck.

Joaquin didn’t let go of Kevin’s hand. Notwhile he was driving them back to the Keller residence, not when they madetheir way up to Kevin’s room, not when Kevin gently kissed him and pulled himonto the bed. Joaquin didn’t know if he would ever let go of Kevin’s hand.

Kevin almost had another panic attack asthey walked back to the truck, but he didn’t. Joaquin’s hand was firm in his,grounding him and keeping him present. He was sure that Joaquin was justhumoring him, not letting go of his hand, but Kevin couldn’t describe howimportant it was to him. He needed this. He needed Joaquin because his heartbeat was still racing. It didn’t calm down until he was lying in his room, surroundedby familiar sights and breathing in Joaquin’s familiar scent.

Kevin and Joaquin were lying on theirsides, facing each other. Kevin kept leaning in to brush his lips againstJoaquin’s, a ghost of a kiss. He found it reassuring, feeling the warmth of Joaquin’slips under his. He could feel the serpent’s heart beat where their chest werepressed together. When he looked into Joaquin’s eyes, they were full of liveand passion and, love? Kevin wasn’t sure. Was it too early for love?

“Kev, can I tell you about my parents?”Joaquin whispered, avoiding eye contact with the taller man. Joaquin didn’tknow why it was so important for him to tell Kevin about this. Maybe he thoughtit would calm Kevin down. Maybe help Kevin realize that Joaquin really didunderstand what he was going through. Cause Joaquin knew exactly what Kevin hadmeant when he had said that Jason’s eyes were lonely.

Kevin sucked in his breath. He didn’t knowif he was ready to hear about this, but he wanted to be there for Joaquin thesame way Joaquin had been there for him. “Absolutely.”

“I read somewhere that, after the age ofseven, our brains delete most of our memories from early childhood. But mybrain must have malfunctioned or something, cause every night, for thirteen years, I remember myparents.” Joaquin paused, closing his eyes and gripping tighter on Kevin’shand. “I was four when they died, and Bas tells me that I’m making it up, thatI’m remembering it all with rose colored glasses or something. I don’t think he’sever gotten over it.” Joaquin paused again and Kevin opened his mouth tocomfort him, to tell him that he understood, but Joaquin interrupted him. “Kev.If you start talking I don’t think I’ll get through this.” Kevin just nodded,resting his forehead against Joaquin’s and closing his eyes, inviting the boyto continue.

“Sebastian and I were in the car when myparents died. My dad was drunk, Sebastian says he can’t remember our dad everbeing sober. But my mom. My mom was trying to calm him down, trying to get himto stop yelling and to pay attention to the road. I remember her last words.How fucked up is that?” He laughed angrily. “I’m seventeen and I remember my mom’slast words. She said ‘Honey, calm down. You’re scaring the children.’ And hesaid ‘Why do you think I give a rat’s ass about the children?’ And then we hitthe black ice, and the car spun off the road. Bastian was only 14, he didn’tknow what the hell to do, so we just sat in the car until 911 showed up. I rememberlooking at my mom, blood dripping down her forehead and just knowing that Iwould never forget the look in her eyes. She look so sad and lonely.” It was Kevin’sturn to bring his thumbs up to wipe away tears. He pressed a kiss to both ofJoaquin’s cheeks, as if to erase the tear trails. Joaquin’s breath shook. “Kev,I want you to feel comfortable around me, okay? I need you to tell me if youaren’t okay with something.” Joaquin finished, trying to let Kevin know thatthey never had to go back to Sweet Water River again. Kevin smiled at him.

“I do feel comfortable around you Joaquin.I just, I thought I could do it.” He shrugged, “I was wrong. I just keptpicturing him, wondering how he must have felt in those last seconds, facing downthe barrel of a gun and just knowing that this was the end. That you were aboutto die.” Kevin’s breath had begun to accelerate again.

“Kev, calm down. Breathe okay, in and out.In and out.” Joaquin traced calming patterns on Kevin’s hand. Kevin slowed hisheart rate, but looked at Joaquin inquisitorially.

“How do you know how to deal with…whatever these things are?”

Joaquin sighed, “I told you Sebastian hadnever gotten over it right?” Kevin nodded. “Well, he had panic attackssometimes. I, uh, I had to figure out how to deal with it.” Kevin wasincredulous.

“Joaquin, you’re seventeen.”

“Well observed preppy” Joaquin chuckled.

“Shut up,” Kevin hit his shoulder, “Imean, you shouldn’t have to deal with this kinda stuff. You’re still a kid.”Joaquin smiled sadly.

“So are you. But you know what your mom’slast words were too. And you can’t go to the river cause of a dead kid.”Joaquin seemed to realize something, “We live in Riverdale Kev, we are asnormal as kids get in this town.” He smiled, his hand was still in Kevin’s, andhe used it to pull the taller boy impossibly closer to him, connecting theirlips.

Kevin sighed, deepening the kiss andforgetting about the shit they had been through. He was happy to just be withhis boyfriend. To kiss his boyfriend and hold his hand and know that nothingcould ruin this. This was his and this was perfect. He threw his leg overJoaquin’s, straddling the boy and furthering the kiss. He finally releasedJoaquin’s hand, bringing his up to slide under Joaquin’s shirt. Joaquinwhimpered into Kevin’s mouth.

Kevin pulled away, smirking.

“I love you.” He admitted, biting his lip.Joaquin smiled, before flipping them so he was on top, straddling Kevin.

“I love you too, preppy. Now shut up andlet me kiss you.”

“Sounds like a deal.” Kevin giggled andrelaxed under Joaquin’s lips.

Should I start putting these under a cut? I think maybe I should. Some of them are pretty long. 

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