#kabalintunaan

i once knew a girl who planted steel bullets on her chest—a rib cage shattered, all blood- soaked & corrupted lungs. they were hollow spaces she tried to fill / with copper & gunpowder, waited for them to grow into a garden of orchids but they never did. so she dug out these bullets & planted seeds of hope instead & out of the once hollow space / a fragile flower / a mimosa / s l o w l y blooms. she may not be as splendid as an orchid but is as darling as the morning / for it is a reminder of the first light / shining after the long & dark night.

Hello! Maraming salamat sa pagfollow, dear! Have a beautiful day! <3

i. i used to color my rainbows only in six colors and the sun and ripe mangoes and bananas orange when i was in kindergarten and my teacher never believed me when i said that it was because the color yellow made me feel dizzy.       ii. when i was sixteen i met a girl in a bright yellow sweater and i remember how i felt like i was going to throw up--it is the yellow sweater, it is, it is, i kept telling myself as she grabbed my hand as we ran up the escalator and got excited about the christmas lights and i almost forgot about the bright yellow sweater because it was the first time another girl held my hand and it felt like a crime, like a winter storm in my palm.       iii. i have had kissed a few other girls and am now more comfortable in my skin and it was only this year i learned what synesthesia means. i still hate the color yellow but eight years after, when the city is dressed in wonderful lights and the snow begins to fall, somehow i still wish to hold hands again with the girl in the bright yellow sweater.

i love you. although i’m sure it doesn’t matter to you by now.