#k:wg

As with all my headcanons these can be bent or flipped or discarded at any time depending on what dynamic I'm in the mood for... But here's what I've got!

Detailed explanations below 👇

M.artyn still wins because of his considerable (some would say unfair) natural head start... but style points are given to J.oe, who showed up with a tube in his mouth hooked up to one of those water pouch hiking backpacks (chroma green, of course) and, 3 liters of soda later, swelled up before the judge's very eyes to a respectable 2nd place.

I really do think he could come to own it, though. Enjoy the sensation of his growing body. Especially if he knew some of the others were horny for it. “Soft” might not be part of his persona, but bratty and a bit demanding certainly is. I think he should sit himself down on his rapidly spreading ass and enjoy teasing whoever’s around him with little peaks of his body, with the potential promise of getting to touch him if they bring him more snacks. He’d take so much joy in requesting a just a little bit more, keeping their reward just out of reach until either they get sick of it or he’s worked himself up too much to resist letting himself get groped at least a little.

Idk let the boy be round and let him learn to enjoy it. Let him have a soft belly and heavy tits and wide hips and thick thighs and arms and a cute little double chin. He deserves it I think.

"'Soft' might not be a part of his persona, but bratty and demanding certainly is"

THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE. You've NAILED what I had in mind for G.rian with my big feederism H.ermit tier list. As soon as he stops clinging to that paper-thin scrap of a self-image he'd be the most insanely flirty teasing feedee, playing coy and oblivious but also totally incapable of hiding how turned on his own ballooning body makes him.

It's not just the weight itself, though, is it? With G.rian, there's always part of it that's about the attention. The effect his body has on other people affects him too... I think that'd be a really good way of having him "learn to enjoy" being big, like you said— putting on some weight by accident and realising one of his partners (picturing M.umbo but it could be anyone tbh) is extremely into it & thinking "hmm let's see where this leads". Starting to gain more intentionally, giving into cravings he's been trying to suppress for years and it feels so good, lettting himself go like this... He's definitely not into it though. Nooo no no no, this is just... Some temporary fun! It makes his partners happy, and he can always work off whatever junk he doesn't want in his trunk, right?

Yeah, right.

Days turn to weeks, and while G.rian has grown a lot in various exciting ways, some other very important things are steadily shrinking:

His desire to lose that "little" bit of "temporary" weight

The feasibility of losing it and of ever going back to his old size

The belief that he's doing all this just for his partners' reactions with no personal enjoyment whatsoever

His sense of shame (which is partly caused by ↓)

His wardrobe, specifically the number of clothes that cover him decently :3

poor birdy boy is practically wasting away, it's only kind to feed him up a little. and maybe he doesn't question as the portions slowly begin to increase, it's just a friend being kind and bringing him meals and sweets and inviting him over for tea. and if he slowly begins changing over the months, growing a fat chubby belly that sits on his lap and thick thighs that could easily split open trousers, his increased size making it harder to fly, and that lessened activity only helping him grow more as I encourage him to eat more... then it wasn't my fault.

Broke: "gaining weight puts you in a downward spiral because hurr durr being fat is bad and evil!!1!"

Woke: "gaining weight puts you in a literal downward spiral because that's what this chubby bird boy does whenever he tries to fly— but flying's been really hard lately, and maybe he's feeling kinda down about it, and then he has a little snack or two or a baker's dozen to cheer himself up, and ohhh he's gotten heavier again... Don't be sad birdy, you look so so cute like this 🥰"

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(Z.ITS Game Night 5 - 27:16) The Jackbox prompt asks what world record Ze.daph thinks he could break, and his answer is most tacos eaten.

(Same stream - 5:02:31) Sk.izz questions the chances that Z.ed and Ta.ngo would've eaten vastly different amounts of pizza that week, since they've been together all week. Im.pulse: "Have you met him?" Ta.ngo: "The boy can eat."

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(Season 5, stream #16 - 18:05)

Z.ed: Have you ever eaten a whole chicken before?

Ta.ngo: Not in one sitting, no.

Z.ed: Interesting.

Ta.ngo: How about you?

Z.ed: I think I might've actually. [...] I might've bought a whole cooked roasted chicken before and, just sat in the car and ate it.

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(Season 5, stream #17 - 1:52:56) Z.ed talks about how hungry he is and does a voice to mimic his stomach yelling at him. Then he tells chat that next time he feels it rumble he'll push his belly to the mic so they can hear it too.

(Slightly later - 1:55:51)

Z.ed: Okay wow man, my stomach...

Ta.ngo: (snickers) You gonna make it?

Z.ed: It's chatting! Might need to...

(He starts to stand up then changes his mind.)

Z.ed: Ah, no, it's too much. It's too awkward to show my belly to the mic.

Ta.ngo: (laughs) I like how that was a consideration though.

Z.ed: I thought about it, it was close! And then I though, no, I will look...

Ta.ngo: So hungry you need to see my stomach right now.

Z.ed: No, you need to hear it! I was gonna like push the microphone into my belly.

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(Season 5, stream #18 - 18:23)

Z.ed: This belly's big, and it needs to go down, especially for all the food I'm gonna eat in America, so...

Ta.ngo: Yeah, I already told him I'm gonna get him nice and fat here.

Z.ed: I'm gonna be, oh. You're just gonna wait and see, there's gonna be a timelapse over the two weeks and it's just gonna be like... (Then he literally mimics himself puffing up like a balloon, rapid style. I haven't recovered.)

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(Diversity 3, stream #3 - 2:42:00) Jack asks how many nuggets Z.edaph and Ta.ngo think they could eat in one sitting.

Ta.ngo: I could eat a lot of nugs.

Z.ed: We talking, McDonald's chicken nug?

Jack: Yeah.

Z.ed: I'd say... I've eaten 40 in one go before so, at least 40.

Jack: Solid. Solid effort.

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(1st Z.ITS + Her.mits olympics stream - 47:47) Ta.ngo cheers for Ze.daph and calls him pinky. Z.ed misunderstand it as piggy and does a very deadpan "oink oink."

(Later, 1:04:29)

Z.ed (trying to dodge arrows): I feel wider than I should be.

Cl.eo: The cake, you need to put down the cake sometime.

Z.ed (laughing): It's true.

Sk.izz (laughing): Maybe Ta.ngo was calling you piggy.

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During the Wheel of Misf.ortune stream, there's a lot of belly holding and moaning starting around 2:40:35, but mainly because he (Ta.ngo too) was feeling ill from the nasty/challenge food they'd eaten.

Me, opening the ask expecting three or four moments and being met with this absolute Zedbuffet: Hey!— hOLY MOLY YOU'RE HUGE!!

Seriously, what a treat! Sticking my reactions to my favourite stuff on this list (which is most of it, let's be real) below a readmore for scrolling's sake... But wow, what's clear is that I should be watching Z.ed's streams WAY more omg.

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Cute fat little bastards.

You know seals belly slap to attract a mate? Its very good for them to be fat and round, and the fatter the seal are, the more competent.

Also, their eyes just remind me of grian, and you can easily turn this into force-feeding him. Hes so thin, not built like a real seal. Maybe he just needs someone to fatten him up, yeah?

👁️👁️ oh my GOD you're so right... I love the mental image of seal G.rian during his fisherman era, lounging on his dock waiting for that stupid mending book to bite while mindlessly snacking on all those worthless non-treasure catches (like a stereotypical heartbroken person eating ice cream straight from the tub lol)

It's not uncommon for G's fishing sessions to end with him moaning and complaining on the ground. Lately though, that's been less due to despair at ever getting that book, and more to do with him suddenly (and painfully) realizing how many fish he's caught and unthinkingly eaten... Ough. Maybe that belly slap strategy also works to attract belly rubs? 😊

x.B would also perfect for this given his base this season, but I'm just too attached to him as either a guardian or orca hybrid... Could seal M.umbo be a thing? He's big, has that dark suit and the mustache, that feels like it could go somewh—

No wait. Stop everything.

I was looking up seal species to see if i could match a blorbo to one, and I just realised.

THERE'S SEALS IN NEWFOUNDLAND.

SEAL G.EM! Selkie G.em, even!! She'd be so so fat because G.em is Great at being a seal, obviously, and then when she's on land she can just shrug off that form and look like a regular human with nothing weird going on! Except maybe she's a little Too Great, and soon that weight starts to show on her landlubber form too... 🤤

I am imagining gr.umbo in an open relationship. During season nine when mu.mbo was away for whatever reason you headcanon his character to have been missing for most the season gr.ian was opening his legs to anyone willing to give him any of the attention he’s so desperately missing.

Another thing he was willing to open a lot was his mouth. If started with him comfort eating because he was missing mumbo and before long he had a little bit of a gut poking out. He cut himself off then and there, promising himself to return to his golden carrot based diet so he can lose the extra pounds.

Enter con.vex. The two of them are married but always happy to include a third and if there is one thing vex love it’s their cake. And they have noticed how gr.ian has been tugging on his sweater to hide that hint of belly and they want more.

It doesn’t start at stuffing. It starts with con.vex insisting that they wine and dine gr.ian before taking him to bed. Gradually portions get bigger, they add more courses. Vexes need to eat so much more than other species, but before long they have gr.ian giving it his best shot to keep up

Then comes the morning-after breakfasts and before long eggs and toast have turned into cheesy omelettes, pancakes drenched in syrup, coffee that’s more cream and sugar than anything else, and other spreads to make sure the calories gr.ian might have burned while they were fucking get replaced

Gr,ian is still trying to lose the extra pounds that are rapidly piling on but at the same time some part of him knows. He loves this. He loves the way his stomach dips beneath his prodding fingers, loves the way another chin is replacing his jawline, loves how he can feel his newly acquired ass jiggle as he walks. It’s wrong and he shouldn’t want it… but one more night can’t hurt, right?

Flash forward to Mu.mbo coming home and Gr.ian realises that oh yes it can. It’s like he’s seeing himself for the first time in months. Seeing the pile of blubber he’s turned into. The dieting on his convex-free days has only made it worse! When he was trying to make himself lose weight by eating as little as he could, he was only working up more of an appetite for for the calorie dense foods c.ub and sc.ar were offering him.

He spends the last bit of denial he has left convincing himself that if he wears a chunky sweater and a pair of tight pants (that used to be big on him!) then he can probably fool mum.bo long enough to lay off the extra pounds.

So their reunion goes like this: gr.ian stuffed into clothes that are far too small for his current size, moving as little as possible because he’s certain the button on his pants is going to pop any minute with how much it’s digging into his big fat belly, beet red with embarrassment while mu.mbo gives him an appraising look and walks up to him to poke his gut. Grian sucks it in just in time but even so Mumbo’s long finger still sinks into his blubbery flesh.

“That wasn’t there when I left” he says matter of factly. There is an edge of something familiar there. Mu.mbo is leaning into his dom persona, a persona that has always been borderline sadistic. “Let ourselves go, did we?”

And that is when he breaks. Gr.ian is so utterly fat and so utterly humiliated and most importantly he is so incredibly hard right now

“Don’t know what you mean” he still denies, feeling like the least fuckable most horny person to ever exist. He keeps his belly sucked in as much as possible while mu.mbo just stares at him, waiting for him to let go and let mu.mbo how large he’s become all because he was being needy and pathetic without his boyfriends attention.

The following day mu.mbo makes sure to send c.ub and sc.ar a message thanking them for their efforts

Apparently I've just had this absolute feast of a basically-fic sitting, languishing, nay, wasting away in my askbox. For MONTHS! Extremely rude of me not to share it before now... Anon if you're still out there I so badly hope you have an AO3 or a blog of your own 🥺

Much like a certain greedy birdy, I'm about to become so needy and pathetic looking for more quality stuff like this aaaaa 😊