#just angst

Rafe Cameron holds grudges better than anyone and his ex was about to witness exactly that. 

Jessica Green liked to think of herself as the queen of their university, the epitome of beauty and popularity. Some real high school bullshit he only fed because he really liked her.

Then, she went and dumped him for none other than Tyler West, the star player of his rival basketball team. Technically, she cheated on him, sneaking around with that piece of shit behind his back. 

The humiliation was killing him. 

Rafe wasn't one to take such things lying down; he wanted revenge, and he needed it badly. He wanted to ruin her life. It wasn’t enough to ruin her reputation, he wanted to hit her where it hurt the most.

What would hurt more than being replaced? Not by any girl, but by someone who was everything she wasn’t. It was a genius idea at the time, really. He wanted to prove her that some loser could easily take her place, with a little help from him, of course.

That's when you came into the picture.

Kelce pointed you out actually, when they were six beers in and too fucking drunk to think clearly. But it was still a solid choice.

You were the complete opposite of his ex, blending into the crowds like a superpower. He watched you for an entire hour at the party, no uttering a single word the entire time you were there, only nursing your drink and listening to the other girls on the cheerleading squad speak.

Shit, he didn’t know you were a cheerleader until that night. 

Were you always there? How had he never noticed you before? It was hard to remember when all he focused on up until then was Jessica. 

You were practically invisible in comparison to her, always on the sidelines, blending into the background. 

You were perfect for his plan.

If he could take this overlooked, nerdy girl and turn her into the new it girl (whatever the fuck that meant) of campus, it would be the ultimate blow to Jessica's ego, proving that she wasn’t as irreplaceable as she thought. 

“You really gonna do it?”

He didn’t take his eyes off you, “Oh yeah. I'm doing it.”

“Nahh, there’s no way you’re pulling this off.”

Rafe leaned back in his chair, a cocky grin at the corner of his mouth.

His friend's skepticism was exactly what he expected, it made the challenge even sweeter.

 “You think so?” he mused. “Watch me.”

Kelce, always the instigator, “No way, Cameron. Turnin' that quiet little thing into the next Jessica? She’s cute, I guess, in that nerdy way, but she’s not hot girl, material.”

Rafe’s eyes narrowed. “She’s got potential,” he said confidently. “Just needs someone to show her how to use it.”

Topper laughed, shaking his head. “You’re insane. This isn’t a bad rom-com movie where the shy girl takes off her glasses and suddenly she’s hot.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Rafe pointed out, “It’s all about confidence man. Jessica wasn’t born the way she is now, trust me, I can do the same with her.”

A silly school project, he thought to himself. That’s all you were. 

Kelce took a swig of his drink, enjoying where the conversation was going.

“Alrigh', I’ll bite. How much time are we talking here? She’s got a looooong way to go."

Rafe tilted his head, considering. “Give me two months."

Topper snorted, setting his drink down with a thunk. “Two months? No way. I say, a grand says you can’t pull it off.”

Kelce laughed, rubbing his hands together.

“Oh, this is gonna be good. I’m in. A grand."

The two idiots were already shaking hands over it, acting like it was a twisted fantasy football bet.

“Y’all are gonna feel real fucking stupid when she’s walking into parties on my arm and every guy on campus is trying to figure out where the hell she came from.”

“And what’s the plan, exactly? Gonna Cinderella her ass into popularity?”

Rafe cocked an eyebrow, swirling the last bit of his beer in his red cup.

“Something like that,” he drawled. “Little wardrobe upgrade. Introduce her to the right people. Coach her on how to not sound like she’s afraid of her own voice.”

Kelce laughed, too loud. “Jesus. You’re gonna Pygmalion her.”

Rafe was going to make you untouchable, he’d improve every dull corner of you until you gleamed under the lights she used to think were reserved for her. And when Jessica saw you on his arm, in her place, with every pair of eyes following you instead of her, that’s when the knife would twist..

He finished his drink and slamming the glass down on the table.

“I’m upgrading.”

Topper whistled low. “You’re a sick fuck, man.”

Rafe smiled, tongue in his cheek. “Takes one to know one.”

Kelce raised his glass. “To Rafe and his miracle project. This is gonna be fun to watch.”

Topper shook his head again as he clinked his glass against Kelce’s. “Here’s to you wasting a month of your life on a lost cause.”

“You better start saving up.”

This plan was flawless. 

It was so good that even in his drunken stupor, he could see how perfectly it would play out. The first step was simple: get close to you. Make you feel special, noticed. Rafe knew how to charm people; it was practically second nature. With Jessica, it had been easy; she’d fallen for his looks, his confidence, his rich boy appeal. 

The next day, he started showing up at places he knew you’d be. The library, the campus coffee shop, even lingering around after cheerleading practice.

At first, he didn’t approach you, only observed. He had to figure out how to make you see him without scaring you off. That's why it took an entire week before he made his first move.

You were sitting alone in the library, surrounded by textbooks and notes. He casually strolled up, pretending to be looking for a book on the same shelf.

“Hey,” he said, glancing down at you with a disarming smile. “You’re in my econ class, right? Mind if I sit here?”

You looked up startled, but nodded, moving your books to make room for him. You probably couldn’t believe that someone like Rafe Cameron was talking to you, let alone sitting with you. But that was the whole point, wasn’t it? Get you out of your shell and into his orbit.

He was acutely aware that one wrong move could cost him, it could send you running. You kept your eyes down, focused on your notes. Your hand wavered as you turned the page, and Rafe leaned in, not intruding, but making sure you knew he was there.

“You always this buried in work?” he asked casually, pulling out a notebook and flipping it open.

You glanced up, surprised he was still there.

“I have a lot to catch up on.”

He chuckled. “I hear you. Econ’s been kicking my ass this semester. You doing okay in it?”

He could tell you were caught off guard. You didn't think he knew you shared the same class. He didn't, until last week when he began doing his research.

You hesitated. “Yeah, it’s… fine. Just a lot of material.”

“Tell me about it,” he said, rolling his eyes dramatically. “I’ve been trying to wrap my head around these supply and demand curves for days. You think the professor’s trying to torture us?”

You smiled faintly, a small victory in his book.

“It’s kind of her thing.”

Rafe grinned, pleased that he got a reaction out of you.

“You mind if I study with you? Might help to bounce some ideas off each other.”

You blinked, taken aback by his request. “Um, sure. I mean, if you want.”

“Definitely,” he replied smoothly. “You seem like you know what’s going on, unlike me.”

He spent the next hour working alongside you, occasionally asking questions, but mostly being there. He didn’t push or try too hard.

He needed you to feel comfortable around him, to see him as someone you could rely on.

“I’m sorry about Jessica.”

You blurted it out, and he knew instantly it hadn’t been meant for him to hear.

Rafe froze, his grip tightening on the pen. He felt the familiar anger bubbling up, but he kept it down, his expression void of any resentment. This was what he didn’t want, Jessica’s name, spoken by you.

But he couldn’t let you see that. 

He looked at you, feigning surprise with a bit of sadness, as if Jessica was a painful memory he was trying to move past.

“You know about that?”

You nodded, eyes wide and apologetic, regretting bringing it up.

“Yeah…It’s all over campus, right? The girls were talking about it in the locker room. I—I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry.”

Rafe forced a smile, faking gratitude for your concern. He sighed, putting on a relived act.

“It’s okay,” he lied. “I guess it’s one of those things, y’know? We were together for a while, and it sucked when it ended.”

You looked down at your notes, fidgeting with the corner of a page. 

“She shouldn’t have done that to you.”

He let out a dry laugh, the bitterness threatening to seep through, but he disguised it as a rueful chuckle.

“Yeah, people do shitty things sometimes. Guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

Your body instantly relaxed, relieved that he wasn’t angry. Rafe needed to pull the conversation away from his ex, and back to you, where it should be.

“But hey,” he added, as if genuinely trying to shake off the bad memories, “Everything happens for a reason right?"

You bit your lip at the sudden attention. “Right."

He leaned forward, “You’re not like everyone else around here. You’re real, y’know? Genuine. I like that.”

Bullshit. But he could see the effect his words had on you.

Your cheeks flushed as you looked away, a shy smile on your lips. “I’m just…here.”

Rafe shook his head, taking on a more sincere tone. “I’m glad I’m getting the chance to see that.”

He held your gaze, letting the silence settle to make the moment feel meaningful, even though he knew exactly what he was doing. He was reeling you in, one calculated move at a time.

Finally, you nodded, lips twitching, “Thanks, Rafe."

Oh, you were too perfect for this.

He grinned, as if the conversation had lightened his mood.

 “Anytime."

It was a perfect first interaction. It made you feel like he was letting you in on something personal and from the look on your face, it worked. Except, inside, Rafe was fuming. Jessica had managed to worm her way into his head again, indirectly, a reminder of why he was doing this shit in the first place. 

It was important to steer the conversation back to safer waters.

“You think you can help me with this econ stuff? I’m pretty sure I’m doomed without you.”

You laughed, the tension from earlier completely dissipating.

“I think I can manage that.”

You both turned your attention back to your notes. Rafe felt a sense of satisfaction. He was winning that bet on way or another. 

Over the next few weeks, he made sure to stick to his plan.

Slowly but surely, he slipped his way into your life, always around, ready with a casual compliment or a small gesture that made you feel special. He’d walk you to class, carry your books, and offer to study with you whenever he had the chance. He knew how to play the long game, and you were warming up to him more and more. He made sure to steer clear of anything that might remind you of Jessica or his past. Instead, he focused on building up your confidence, subtly encouraging you to step out of your comfort zone. 

He’d invite you to parties, introducing you to his friends, and before long, you were starting to come out of your shell. You even started to dress a little differently, nothing too drastic, but enough to catch people’s attention.

The change was gradual, but it was happening.

The first party he invited you to was at a swanky off-campus house, you’d only ever heard about but never had the nerve to attend. He had that effect on you, made you start to believe you could belong in a world that had always seemed so out of reach. 

“C'mon, it’ll be fun."

You hesitated, feeling out of place just imagining yourself surrounded by strangers.

“I don’t know… I’m not really into parties,” you admitted.

Rafe grinned, a playful shine in his eyes.

“I promise I won’t let anything bad happen. Just give it a try, for me?”

He seemed so earnest that you found yourself nodding without a fight.

“Okay. I guess I could give it a shot.”

It was initially awkward, loud music, people you didn’t know, and a social scene that was worlds away from where you belonged. 

Rafe stayed close. 

You clung closer to him, which he noticed and shot you a reassuring smile, his hand resting on the small of your back as he guided. He was different tonight, more assertive. 

“Relax,” he whispered in your ear, breath warm against your skin. “You’re with me. Have some fun, sweets.”

You nodded, trying to loosen up, but the eyes on you—on both of you—were hard to avoid. People were noticing. Whispering.

It was exactly what he'd hoped for.

He led you to where Kelce and Topper were already posted up, drinks in hand. The second they saw you, their eyebrows shot up, but they quickly masked their surprise with easy smiles.

Rafe greeted them, his hand never leaving your body.

“Guys, this is her,” Rafe said, his tone casual. “Told you I’d get her to come out with us.”

Kelce looked you up and down, smirk growing.

"Cameron. Didn’t think you had it in you.”

Topper raised his drink in your direction, “Nice to meet you. Rafe’s been talking you up.”

You managed a small chuckle, not a fan of extra attention on you. “Nice to meet you too.”

Rafe gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Why don’t you grab a drink? I’ll be right here.”

You nodded, grateful for the brief escape, and headed towards the makeshift bar in the kitchen.

As soon as you were out of earshot, the easygoing demeanor Rafe had been maintaining with you slipped away as he turned back to his friends.

“So?” Kelce asked, “How’s the project going?”

Rafe shrugged, taking a sip of his drink.

“Better than expected. She’s starting to come out of her shell. Still got a long way to go, but I’d say we’re on track.”

Topper's eyes followed you as you picked out a drink. “She seems… nice. You sure you want to go through with this, man?”

Rafe shot him a look, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Topper shrugged. “She might be too sweet for what you’ve got planned.”

Kelce chuckled, shaking his head. “She’s sweet, alright. That's the whole point, isn’t it? She’s not Jessica."

Rafe’s lips curled into a smirk. “Exactly. She’s perfect for this.”

He said it with confidence, but there was something else in his eyes—he shoved it down and buried it as he watched you make your way back with a drink in hand.

You came back, walkin’ over all pretty and yeah—fuck. Couldn’t help it. His relaxed on its own, his brain forgetting he was supposed to be playing it charming.

“Got somethin’ good?” He asked, nodding at your drink, knowing damn well he gawked at your glossy lips the whole walk back.

You giggled, holding up your cup.

“It's punch. Thought I’d start slow.”

Rafe snorted, nodding approvingly.

“Smart move. Don’t let these guys talk you into anything crazy.”

He meant to say his piece and move on, but then you smiled again, and that giggle stuck around in his head longer than it should’ve. You were bright-eyed and sweet, not trying hard at all, not even knowin’ how pretty you sounded when you laughed like that.

The night went on like that. Rafe played the part well, always right there with you. Hand on your shoulder when the crowd got thick, fingers brushing yours when he leaned in to tell you who was who. He introduced you to people, acting like he’d been doing this with you forever.

Every time you stepped away, whether it was for another drink or to fix your lip gloss, he’d glance over at his boys. A fleeting look, keeping score.

You didn’t catch that, though.

All you saw was him. This guy who stuck by your side all night, who made you feel like you belonged. Between the drinks and the way his hand kept finding yours, you started to let your guard down. You laughed more. Talked more. Stopped second-guessing every word that came out of your mouth.

That was the whole point. He’d spent weeks laying the groundwork; tonight was just the beginning.

He was getting what he wanted.

Or, at least, he thought he was.

You were laughing at something Kelce said, head tilted back, unfiltered, and something in him pulled up short. It wasn’t big or dramatic, a simple thought about the way you looked right then.

He didn’t dwell on it, knowing better.

Especially with his ex still lurking.

Sure enough, Jessica cornered him before class the next day.

“Rafe, can we talk?”

He didn’t look at her, instead shoving his notebook into his bag as if she wasn’t even worth the effort.

"What's up?"

Jessica glanced around, making sure no one was listening, before stepping closer to him.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

He tilted his head, barely reacting. “What do you mean?”

She huffed in frustration, not in the mood for his mind games.

“Don’t act like you don’t know. She’s a nice girl, I know she’s not your type.”

Rafe couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at his lips. “Jealous?

“You’re just going to use her to get back at me? That’s not fair. She doesn’t deserve that.”

Rafe hummed. “You didn’t think about fairness when you were sneaking around fucking Tyler, did you? Why should I care about what she deserves?”

"Rafe."

"You only care about your precious reputation, so shut the fuck up."

Jessica flinched, “I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have done what I did. But I fell in love with Tyler. I’m not sorry about that.”

“Do you even realize what you did to me?” The memory of the last time he’d trusted her flashed before his eyes. “You don’t get to apologize now, or tell me what’s fair.”

Jessica’s expression softened.

“I’m not saying this for me. I’m saying it for her."

Rafe snorted, "Right, because you care so much about other people, huh?"

"You're being difficult for no reason."

He clenched his jaw, wanting to lash out, tell her that she didn’t get to play the moral high ground after everything she’d done.

“Stay out of it, Jess” he gritted out, “And keep your fucking mouth shut.”

She sighed, her shoulders slumping as if she’d been expecting this. “Think about it before you do something stupid."

Without another word, Jessica turned and walked away, leaving Rafe standing there, seething with anger. He watched her go, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.

Of course, she would act like she gave a shit about you the moment he’s attention dropped from her.

You were just a means to an end, even though you made it so fucking hard for him to keep his head in the game half the time.

When you smiled at him or thanked him for something small, it nailed the hatred he had built up inside. It was part of the plan; getting close to you was necessary for the outcome he wanted. The more alone time he spent with you, the more he realized that he was enjoying himself. 

That was bad.

He didn't have to put in the effort to influence you. You began to speak up in class and crack jokes with the other girls on the cheerleading squad. The transformation was happening right before his eyes, like he’d planned.

Funnily enough, instead of feeling satisfied, there guilt forming in his stomach. You were changing, you were starting to trust him, to look at him like he was more than some popular dude who was doing you a favor. You were beginning to care, and that terrified him.

Why did it terrify him? That's what he wished for.

One night, after another party where you had danced closer, Rafe walked you back to your dorm. The campus was quiet, the stars above bright against the inky sky. You were buzzing with the energy of the night, talking animatedly about how much fun you’d had.

The sound of your laughter, the way your eyes lit up—

“Thanks for inviting me, Rafe. I never thought I’d enjoy these things, but you make it…easier, I guess.”

Rafe smiled down at you, ignoring the way his heart twisted at your words. 

“I’m glad sweets. You deserve to have fun.”

You looked up at him, “I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you properly. For everything. You didn’t have to be this nice to me.”

That's when he saw you, not as a means to an end, but someone he grew to genuinely care about.

Shit.

“It’s no big deal. Really.”

It was, and you both knew it.

You had gone from barely existing on the social radar to being someone everyone wanted to be around. It was all you. Rafe had given you that, but your personality made people like you the moment they met you.

He walked you to your door, his usual confidence gone as you turned to face him. There was something different about you tonight.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” you began hesitantly.

He forced himself to stay calm, even though his heart was pounding in his chest. “Yeah? What’s up?”

You looked down, fiddling with the hem of your top before meeting his eyes again. “Why did you start talking to me? Was it because you felt s-sorry for me? Or… or something else?”

Rafe’s mind raced, trying to find the words that wouldn’t hurt you. He needed to lie, like he’d been doing all along.

You continued, “I’m glad you did. Whatever the reason was. I’ve never felt this… this good about myself. And it’s because of you.”

Rafe swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry.

Fuck.

He’d thought he could control this, control you, but it was slipping through his fingers. He stepped closer to you, his hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You’ve always been amazing,” he said quietly, his voice hoarse. “I just… I helped you see it.”

You grinned up at him, eyes glossing with gratitude. You were looking at him like he was someone worth caring about, and for the first time since he started this game, he felt like he was the one being played.

If pulled away now, for your sake, after all the nights walking you home, learning how you liked your coffee and the exact songs that made you smile, it would only raise questions he didn’t have answers for.

Instead, he kissed you.

You didn’t pull away, kissing him back without hesitation. His hand moved to the back of your neck, not pulling. You made a soft sound in the back of your throat, barely audible, but it hit him all the same.

He didn’t know what he’d expected, but he pulled back when it flooded his insides. The look in your eyes nearly undid him. There was so much trust, and it made him want to break something, anything, to stop feeling the way he did.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he murmured, his voice rough, the kiss taking something out of him.

You nodded, still dazed. “Yeah, tomorrow.”

This was wrong. 

He knew it was wrong. But the way you were looking at him...he couldn’t bring himself to care.

He watched you go inside, waiting until you disappeared into your dorm before he let out a shaky breath.

What the fuck was he doing? He was so close to winning and yet, he couldn’t help but feel that he was the one who was losing.

Later that night, as he lay in bed staring at the ceiling, Jessica’s words mocked him.

“I’m sorry okay? I shouldn’t have done what I did. But I fell in love with Tyler. I’m not sorry about that.”

He had scoffed at her then, dismissed her excuses as pathetic attempts to justify her shitty behavior.

Now, lying there alone, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was any different. He didn’t plan on feeling anything real for you. This was supposed to be a game, a way to hurt Jessica the way she hurt him.

Somewhere along the line, things had changed.

How could he let this happen? How could he, of all people, start to care? He was supposed to be in control, supposed to be the one pulling the strings, not getting tangled in them.

The memory of your pretty face, the sound of your laugh, the warmth in your eyes—these were the things that lingered in his mind, all the fucking damn time. 

“Fuck,” he muttered to himself, rolling over and burying his face in his pillow.

The anger and bitterness that had fueled him for weeks were still there, but they were being drowned out by you.

Rafe’s resolve had been torn for days, but he pushed the guilt aside as he drove to campus the next morning. He was picking you up before class, something that had become a routine. It was a small gesture, but one that made you smile every time, and Rafe had to admit, he looked forward to seeing it.

When he pulled up to your dorm, you were already outside, your bag slung over your shoulder. You looked different from when he first met you—still shy, but with a confidence that hadn’t been there before.

It was subtle, but Rafe noticed. He noticed everything about you these days.

“Hey,” you greeted as you slid into the passenger seat, giving him a grin that always made his brain turn mushy. “Thanks for picking me up.”

“Anytime,” he replied smoothly, shifting the car into gear. “Ready for another day of fun and learning?”

You rolled your eyes playfully, a lightness in your expression that hadn’t been there a month ago.

“If by fun, you mean trying not to fall asleep in econ, then yeah, totally ready.”

He chuckled, glancing over as he pulled onto the road. “I’m starting to think you secretly enjoy econ. You’re just trying to maintain your cool, indifferent persona.”

You laughed, the sound genuine and free, and Rafe felt that unfamiliar squeeze in his chest again.

“Yeah, that’s me. The cool, indifferent econ nerd.”

“See? I knew it."

The drive to campus was easy. When you arrived, he parked in his usual spot, but instead of getting out right away, you turned to him, your expression suddenly serious.

“Rafe, can I ask you something?”

Had you figured it out? Did you know about the bet? He quickly forced a nod.

“Sure sweets, what’s up?”

You hesitated, chewing on your lower lip, a habit he’d noticed you had when you were nervous.

“Why did you kiss me?”

This was the moment he’d been dreading, when you’d start questioning everything. He couldn’t afford to slip up now.

“Why not? I like you. I like being around you.”

You looked at him, your eyes searching his, trying to find the truth in his words. Rafe held your gaze, doing his best to keep his expression open and honest.

You nodded, as if you’d decided to believe him.

“Okay,” you said. “I...I didn’t want to assume, y’know? It’s just...new.”

“Good new, though, right?”

“Yeah,” you admitted, “Good new.”

You were starting to get closer, to trust him, and every time you did, the guilt fucked with his head a little more. 

Later that day, when the two of you met up for a late lunch, he noticed the way you had begun to attract attention from others.

Guys glanced your way, noticing the changes in you, and a few girls even stopped to chat, a far cry from the shy girl he’d first approached in the library.

You two sat down at a table outside the campus cafe, your eyes lit up when you spotted someone approaching. It was Leila, a girl from your cheer squad. She waved and came over, sitting down.

“Hey, you two,” she greeted, her eyes flicking between you and Rafe. “Mind if I join?”

“Sure,” you said, scooting over to make room for her.

He nodded, keeping his expression neutral, but there was something about the way Leila looked at you that irked him.

She complimented you on something you’d done at practice the other day, you blushed at the praise. He could see how much you were changing, starting to come into your own.

It was becoming harder and harder to justify what he was doing.

“She’s nice. I didn’t think she even noticed me before.”

“She notices you now."

You looked at him, your giddy expression fading.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing. Just thinking."

“About what?”

“About how you’re starting to steal everyone’s attention here. What am I gonna do when you’re the most popular one around here?”

You giggled, shaking your head. “I don’t think that’s gonna happen anytime soon.”

You were starting to trust him, to believe in the friendship he was offering, and it was killing him. He needed to talk to someone about it, someone who knew the score.

After dropping you off at your dorm by the end of the day, he called Kelce. The phone rang a few times before his friend picked up, sounding slightly out of breath.

“What’s up?”

Rafe took a deep breath, leaning against the side of his car.

“I need to talk, man. About the bet.”

Kelce laughed, not picking up on the seriousness in Rafe’s voice.

“What, you already feeling bad for her? Didn’t think you’d go soft so fast.”

Rafe frowned, running a hand through his hair.

“I didn’t think it’d be like this. She’s... she’s actually really nice, Kelce. Genuinely nice.”

“Dude, we all knew she was nice. That’s what makes this so good, remember why you’re doing it.”

Rafe sighed in frustration. “I know, but... She trusts me."

And I trust her, he wanted to add.

“Dude, you're in too deep to back out now. Keep your eye on the prize, okay?"

He nodded, even though Kelce couldn’t see him.

“Yeah... yeah, you’re right. I needed to clear my head.”

“Good,” Kelce gloated. “Now go get some sleep or something. We’ve got a party this weekend, and I wanna see you back on your game.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks, man.”

By Friday, the campus was buzzing with weekend plans, and you were in a good mood, chatting excitedly about some party that night. You two were in the cafeteria, grabbing lunch, when it happened.

You were waiting in line for food, and Rafe had stepped aside to check his phone. When he glanced up, he saw a guy approaching you—a guy he recognized from the football team. A sleazy bastard.

The guy flashed you a charming smirk, trying to flirt. Rafe never wanted to pummel a guy's face to the wall so fucking bad.

He watched from a distance as the guy made you laugh, his hand resting on the counter next to yours. Too fucking close.

It made ugly rise in him. His grip tightened around his phone as he watched. You seemed flattered but a little uncomfortable, your smile not reaching your eyes. You weren’t used to this kind of attention, and it made him feel something primal.

He wanted to go over there, tell that guy to back the fuck off, but he didn’t. Instead, he stood there, seething, because scaring you with violence was the last thing he wanted to do.

When the guy finally walked away, only after begging for your number, you looked relieved, and Rafe was already moving.

He crossed the cafeteria in quick strides, heart pounding in every single corner of his body. You spotted him coming, waving but dropping your arm when you saw the sour look on his face.

“Rafe, what’s—”

His hand cupped your face as he all but yanked you toward him and recklessly kissed you, again.

It wasn’t like the kiss outside your dorm. He needed to prove something to himself, to you, and to everyone watching.

You were caught off guard by the suddenness of it, but then you melted into him, his tongue sliding against yours, publicly claiming you in a way that left no room for doubt. His fingers tangled in your hair, and you let out a contented sigh that only made him kiss you harder.

People around you were definitely watching now, whispering, some even cheering. He didn’t pull away until he was breathless, and even then, he stayed close, his forehead against yours, breathing heavy.

When he opened his eyes, he saw the way you were looking at him, dazed, pretty lips swollen from the intensity he had poured into you.

“What... what was that?” your voice shaky, searching his face for answers.

Rafe knew he should've explained himself, but all he wanted was to kiss you stupid. He shook his head, lips tilting at how adorable you looked.

“Couldn’t help myself."

You blinked up at him, trying to process what had just happened, there was no mistaking the way your body was responding to him. 

He stepped back, keeping his hand on your waist as he looked around. Sure enough, the guy from earlier was watching. Rafe caught his eye, giving him a look that said everything without words.

He knew he’d crossed a line, again, but in that moment, all he cared about was the way you felt in his arms and how you looked up at him like he was the only guy in the world.

“C’mon,” Rafe murmured. “We’ve got class.”

You stupidly nodded and let him guide you out of the cafeteria.

As you approached the building where your next class was, he stopped, turning to face you. He touched your cheek again, thumb brushing against your skin, and you leaned into his touch.

“Rafe—”

“You’re my girl,” he whispered, “Okay?”

Your breath hitched as you looked up at him.

Rafe stole one more kiss, tender this time, and he realized he didn’t care about Jessica's feelings anymore.

“Rafe…” you muttered against his lips. There was so much you wanted to say, so much you needed to understand about what you were, what you two were becoming.

His traced the curve of your jawline.

“I need you to know that you mean something to me. This, us—"

“Okay.”

Just like that, he got what he wanted. 

The next day, everything seemed to fall into place as if the universe has finally aligned for you. He asked you out, you were together.

The next two months were a dream, utter bliss. You weren’t happy; you were radiant. 

Every smile he gave you, every touch or whispered confession of how perfect you were, sent you soaring higher. He couldn’t get enough of you, your sweetness, your kindness, your genuine heart. He was falling more and more in love with you every single day.

At the same time, in a place he didn’t dare acknowledge, there was a shadow, a guilt that he pushed aside. He never officially ended the bet with Kelce and Topper. It was a childish, stupid game, insignificant compared to what he feels for you now.

He forgot about it, it didn’t matter anymore.

What you two had was real.

Until it wasn't.

⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷⁀➷ೃ

It’s after cheerleading practice, and you’re alone in the locker room, stuffing your things into your bag. The air is filled with the scent of sweat and body spray, the usual post-practice atmosphere.

You're zipping up your bag when you hear voices nearby, right around the corner.

Leila and Jessica, their conversation hushed but unmistakable.

You wouldn’t normally eavesdrop, but the tone of their voices makes you pause.

"You were right," Leila says, her voice edged with a cruel satisfaction. "About your gut feeling with Rafe and his new girl."

Oh.

Jessica sounds defeated. "What do you mean?"

Leila sighs.

"Kelce spilled everything when we hooked up last week. He was too high to keep his mouth shut. Rafe’s been playing her this whole time, using her to mess with you. It was a bet."

Your breath gets losts somewhere between your lungs and your throat, you can’t move or think. The room spins around you, the ground shaking beneath your feet.

No. No, this can’t be real.

Leila’s voice continues, unaware of the devastation she’s causing.

"It's so fucked up. She has no idea. She’s out there thinking he’s her Prince Charming, and all along it was a sick game."

Jessica doesn’t say anything, but you can’t bear to hear more. You're suffocating, your chest squeezing as panic floods your system all at once.

You’re running, out of the locker room, down the hall, anywhere to get away from those words, those horrible, soul-crushing words.

Tears blur your vision as you stumble outside, gasping for air, an easy escape from the nightmare that’s suddenly become your reality.

You don’t know where you’re going, but you know you can’t stop moving. The hallways blur past you as you wipe at your eyes, rage and heartbreak settling inside you. Before you know it, you find yourself standing outside the gym, where the sounds of basketball practice echo through the double doors.

You push through without thinking, your heart pounding in your ears.

The gym is full of movement, squeaking sneakers, the thud of the ball against the court, the grunts of effort as the players practice their drills.

All of it fades into nothing as soon as your eyes lock onto Rafe.

He’s in the middle of a play, dribbling the ball down the court with that dedicated focus you’ve always admired. You hesitate, the familiar warmth of seeing him nearly enough to make you forget everything you heard.

But then the memory of Leila’s words slams into you, and the anger comes back, pushing you to act accordingly.

You storm across the gym, your footsteps heavy on the polished floor. Some of the players notice you, eyes widening in surprise, you’re beyond caring.

The only thing that matters is confronting him, making him face what he’s done.

"Cameron!"

Rafe turns at the sound of your voice, surprise flashing across his face. The ball slips from his hands, bouncing away as the other players continue.

You always call him by his name, that's the first thing he realizes.

All you can see is Rafe, standing there, looking at you with those eyes that you once thought held nothing but affection for you. Now, all you see is a liar.

“What’s wrong baby?” He jogs over to you, his forehead creasing.

“Was I a bet?”

His expression changes from confusion to horror. The sound of your voice, trembling with disbelief, seems to have stunned him into silence. You want him to deny it and tell you it’s all some terrible misunderstanding.

Deep down, however, you already know the truth.

You saw it in his eyes the second he turned to face you, that guilt, that peek of something wildly desperate.

He reaches for you, his voice breaking.

"Baby, wait, let me explain—”

“Was I a fucking bet?” you repeat, your usual timid voice louder this time, edged with a desperate, frantic undertone that you can’t control.

You take a step back as he tries to get closer, every muscle in your body warning you to get away from him. His eyes are pleading, searching yours for anything that might make this easier, but there’s nothing.

No words can make this hurt any less.

“It started as a bet,” he admits, his voice hardly above a whisper, but to you, it’s as loud as a gunshot. “But it’s not like that, I swear. I—”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

He flinches at your words, features pulled together, but you can’t stop. All the heartbreak, the humiliation you’ve been choking down for the past ten minutes is pouring out of you.

You can see the desperation rising in him. He takes another step toward you, reaching out, but you jerk away, 

“Don't touch me. We’re done.”

“Please, just listen,” he pleads, "You gotta—"

“No.”

With that, you leave. 

Rafe’s voice echoes as you walk away, refusing to look back.

The gym doors swing shut, muffling the sounds of the practice resuming, and you’re left in the eerily quiet hallway. The locker room is empty when you push open the door.

You head straight to your locker again, hands trembling as you fumble with the lock, desperate to escape. Before you can get it open, the door swings wide behind you, and you know, without turning around, that he followed you.

“Go away,” you hiss.

“I can’t,” It sounds like he's begging, “Not like this.”

You spin around, scoffing at his nerve.

“You used me! And for what? A sick joke with your friends?”

Rafe's hands raise to placate you, “I know I messed up. I know I should’ve told you the truth, but I—”

“But you didn’t,” you cut him off, pointing an accusing finger in his direction. “You let me believe that you cared about me, and all the while it was a game to you. You and your friends laughed in my face the entire time, didn’t you?”

“It wasn’t a game,” he insists, eyes red. “It wasn't supposed to be like this, okay? This wasn't the plan. I changed. Being with you... it was the only thing that felt real to me.”

"Bullshit." You shake your head, tears welling up in your eyes. “I don’t believe you.”  

“It wasn’t a joke. It started as a stupid bet, but I never expected to actually—” He broke off, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I care about you. That’s real.”

It's hard not to see the boy who had made you feel special, who had made you believe in something more.

“I don’t even know who you are."

You want to believe him, to take solace in the idea that some part of what you had was real, but you can't. You shake your head again, a sob choking you as you turn away from him.

“It isn’t supposed to hurt like this,” you whisper, more to yourself than to him. “It’s not supposed to feel like a knife in your chest.”

“Please, sweetheart,” he murmurs, “Give me a chance to make this right.”

"You lied to me, you used me.”

You look at him then, the boy who broke your heart, who turned your world upside down with a single lie. You know that if you stay, let him talk, you'll be tempted to forgive him.

With a deep breath, you straighten up, wiping away the tears that have stained your cheeks.

“I’m done.”

“Don’t say that,” he pleads.

Rafe's eyes are wide, glistening with unshed tears that start to spill over the edges. He reaches out again, his hand trembling in the space between you. It's too late. Tears stream down his cheeks, his broad shoulders shaking. His tears feel like another manipulation, a ploy to pull you back into him.

“I mean it. We’re done. I need you to stay away from me.”

Rafe takes in the resolve in your eyes, the finality in your tone, and he knows there’s no coming back from this.

“I’m sorry,” he says it over and over again, voice going hoarse. “I’m so sorry.”

"Go cry somewhere else, maybe to whoever you were playing this game for.

Without another word, you leave, pushing past the locker room door and walking away. A small voice inside you screams at you, to give him one more chance, but then you imagine the laughter, the cruel satisfaction, Rafe with his friends, laughing at your expense.

You can't do that to yourself, for a man.

Meanwhile, when the door slams shut behind him, Rafe leans against it, his breath coming in ragged gasps. He doesn’t feel victorious.

Another day was coming to an end in Twisted Wonderland, meaning it was time to go "home" to Ramshackle once more. As Yuu walked back to Ramshackle with Grim they couldn't help but notice the sky, a beautiful mix of pink and golden hues. A sight so pretty it would surely make anyone at least a tiny bit happy to witness it, except for Yuu.

For a while now they had been growing more depressed, thoughts haunting them, spiraling in their head just enough to almost make them go mad. It was tiring, walking the exact same path day after day after day, when they knew they were never meant to. Every step they took felt wrong and hollow.

Today, only one thing stood out on the way home, the crushing silence that Yuu had fallen into while Grim rambled on and on about how annoying homework was. None of it reached Yuu's ears, who simply stared off into the blue, completely ignorant to what was happening or being said around them.

When they both got back home Yuu quickly got back to reality, their perfectly trained smile quickly plastered back on, along with their joyous voice. That same smile that they trained for in front of the mirror for so many hours, just to make sure it was convincing. And any onlooker would surely be fooled by this display, just like innocent Grim is. And truthfully, Yuu hated doing this, hiding their emotions and lying to Grim, it was exhausting and made them feel bad. But making sure they wouldn't worry Grim was Yuu's top priority, and to prevent from doing so they had to pretend everything was alright, no matter how tiresome it may be.

It was hard pretending to be okay when so many things were haunting their mind, making their shoulders grow tense and their jaw tigthen. And the worst part might be that Yuu didn't even realise it themself, how those thoughts seemed to be draining their energy, affecting them.

Later on in the night when Yuu was sure they were alone and Grim was asleep, they quietly sneaked out of Ramshackle to sit on the porch. They carefully avoided every wooden board that made the floor crack. By now they had memorised it so well that they could even walk on the floor without making a single sound blindfolded.

Still, when Yuu finally got out, they let out a loud sigh, louder than they thought it'd be. So loud in fact that it even surprised them. They quietly sat down on the porch and made sure no one was around before letting their shoulders sag, a frown forming itself on their face, the mask quickly unraveling for their eyes only to see. And soon enough as they seemed to relax and let themself go they started to cry silently. At first they were so focused on just breathing and enjoying the quiet of the night that it didn't even register they were crying. It's only when they felt the tears grow cold in the quiet chilly air of night that they understood they were, in fact, crying.

It's not like they didn't see this coming, crying I mean. It happens so often now that they shouldn’t even be surprised anymore. It had been months since they had fallen into this world they knew nothing about, months since they had seen their friends, months since they had seen their family, seen their home, eaten their favorite dish, went to their school and-...

It was hard being away from home for so long. It truly did plague them every day how much they missed their home. Sure it wasn't perfect and there are a lot of times where they wished they could just leave this place but... it was still their home, their home that held a special place in their heart. They missed their world so dearly, so dearly you couldn't understand, couldn't understand because of how hostile this new unknown world seemed to be to Yuu.

They wanted to go home, they really wanted to... but on the other side... they didn't know if they really wanted to anymore. With all the time they spent here they made new friends, built themself a home and learned a lot. And they truly did form close bonds with many people. And among all their friends... there was him, the one that made them wonder if they really wanted to go back home. The one they thought about constantly and sometimes didn't know how to act around anymore. Yuu didn't really know when it started, all they knew is that they had fallen head over heels for him without realising. And over time these opposing feelings of wanting to stay in Twisted Wonderland for him and going back home started to occupy all of Yuu's thoughts. It was torture, hell even. They had stopped counting how many times they almost told him how they felt. But Yuu, never did, they couldn't, not when they knew they were gonna go back home someday. How would that end well? Yuu would have to abandon him and everyone else eventually.

If he didn't feel the same, things would become awkward and everything would change. Yuu couldn't risk their friendship, it was too dear to them. And if he felt the same way and they got together those feelings would make their goodbye hurt even more. Leaving the both of them to live the rest of their lives wondering what would have happened if Yuu had stayed. Leaving them to wonder about what ifs for the rest of their lives.

And fuck, how Yuu wished they could just tell him, tell him everything, the countless nights they spent daydreaming about him. All the dates they thought of going on with him, the flowers they so desperately wanted to give him just because they can, the secret rendez-vous to escape everyone else.

Oh and how they constantly thought about the lingering glances and touches that they always seemed to give each other. Unecessary touches lingering for a few seconds too long, long enough to doubt if it was just friendliness. All the silent stares that seemed to say everything and nothing all at once.

Stop.

They shook their head to try and get the thoughts out of their head, get his face out of their head, his smile, his voice and- no. Thinking about it only makes it hurt more and more. And they know it all too well.

But fuck, how they wished they could tell him how they loved him so. Maybe Yuu would seem desperate and quite frankly that's alright, because they definitely are desperate for anything he gives them. They could do so much for just a glance, a whisper, a quick touch, a small attention, a word, for anything really.

Maybe it was selfish, or maybe it was selfless, Yuu didn't really know anymore, didn't know if their decision had been made for him or for them.

They had thought about the possibility, the one of confessing, the one that could potentially lead the both of them into a relationship. Because they had tried putting themself in his shoes, thinking about if they'd want to know if they were him. And the truth is that if they were him they'd want to know even if it wouldn't be meant to last forever. But then what would happen when they'd leave for their world? Both of them would be crushed, and the mere thought of hurting him.... Yuu couldn't bear that thought alone, so it was unconceivable to do just that. So they'd stick to their decision, forever bearing the weight of their unspoken feelings. Forever left to wonder about the what ifs, the things that made them think they weren’t just "friends".

"I won't tell him". It was the decision Yuu made every single time they thought over this particular dilemna. The "conclusion" if you will, to all those restless nights thinking about a problem that didn't have any right answer. And no matter what day or what time it was, this conclusion was always the same. Therefore, like always when torturing their mind with this problem they cried their heart out, the pain so intense it felt like it was crushing them under its shear weight.

How they wished Ace's dream was true, how they wished they could go back and forth to both worlds. But it was just a dream. A silly, stupid, pointless dream.