#junji tokai

Japanese:

目覚めてみれば蟲の息で命を刻む淡く淡く

心に何か想っても　浮かんで流れて消える

まるで走馬灯の様

目覚めぬままに息絶えれば命を刻む音も眠る

心に何か想っても　巡り巡って行くのでしょう

私を通り過ぎて

現はただ甘い夢を垂れ流す残酷

焼かれ叫ぶ目が眩む程の悲鳴

燃ゆる命その痛みは何を照らしたのでしょう

浮かび沈む必然の性

生と不が織り成す「歪」

ゆえに「生きた意味」に縋り

「生かされた意味」が誰かの

「生きる意味」と成り行くのでしょう

常夜に舞うは冷光

「黒い日」一つ終える度に迎えに来るのはまた「黒い日」

心に強く想えば　巡り巡って何時かは…

私を照らすでしょうか

燃えた命その屍は何を残したのでしょう

「終わり」の端その鋒で何かを織り成す「歪」

故に愚か然れど仄か琴の音を掻き鳴らす様に

胸の奥に触れられたなら

常夜に舞うは冷光

鼓動が脈を打つ度に広がる

痛みに怯え震える私を救ってくれた「冷たい優しさ」

また一つ、私を通り過ぎた

「想い」に手を振りましょう今は…

生きて生きて死すべき日に

大いに笑い逝きましょう

唯一無二の必然として

理が織り成す「歪」

「私として私を生き、私の儘に死のう」

「その日」は刹那の果てにぽつり…

嗚呼、待ち惚け

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Romaji:

Mezamete mireba mushi no iki de inochi wo kizamu awaku awaku Kokoro ni nanika omotte mo, ukande nagarete kieru Maru de somatou no you Mezamenu mama ni iki taereba inochi wo kizamu oto mo nemuru Kokoro ni nanika omotte mo, meguri megutte yuku to deshou Watashi wo toori sugite Utsutsu ha tada amai yume wo tarenagasu zankoku Yakare sakebu me ga kuramu hodo no himei Moyuru inochi sono itami ha nani wo terashita no deshou Ukabi shizumu hitsuzen no saga Sei to fu ga orinasu “ibitsu” Yue ni “ikita imi” ni sugari “Ikasareta imi” ga dareka no “ikiru imi” to nari yuku no deshou Tokoyo ni mau ha reikou “Kuroi hi” hitotsu oeru tabi ni mukae ni kuru no ha mata “kuroi hi” Kokoro ni tsuyoku omoeba meguri megutte itsuka ha… Watashi wo terasu deshou ka Moeta inochi sonoj kabane ha nani wo nokoshita no deshou “Owari” no hashi sono kissaki de nani ka wo orinasu “ibitsu” Yue ni oroka saredo honoka koto no ne wo kakinarasu you ni Mune no oku ni furerareta nara Tokoyo ni mau ha reikou Kodou ga myaku wo utsu tabi ni hirogaru Itami ni obie furueru watashi ha sukutte kureta “tsumetai yasashisa” Mata hitotsu, watashi wo toori sugita “Omoi” ni te wo furimashou ima ha…

Ikite ikite shisubeki ni ni ooi ni warai yukimashou Yuiitsu mu ni no hitsuzen toshite Kotowari ga orinasu “ibitsu” “Watashi toshite watashi wo iki, watashi no mama ni shinou” “Sono hi” ha setsuna no hate ni potsuri… Ah, machibouke -

English:

When I awaken, a faint voice, lightly, lightly carves into my life What do I feel deep in my heart? Floating and passing by and disappearing Like a revolving lantern If you die without awakening, the sound that carved itself into your life will also remain asleep What do I feel deep in my heart? Will it turn and turn on forever Until it passes me by? The present is unfortunately just the overflowing of sweet dreams I hear a blistering, blinding scream What did the pain of this burning life illuminate? The inevitable destiny, floating and sinking Life and nothingness are interweaving to create a warp So I embrace the meaning of being alive I wonder what the meaning of being allowed to live will become for someone else A cold light dancing in perpetual night Every time a black day comes to an end, it just means another black day is coming If I think my heart is strong, someday what will come back to me… I wonder if it will illuminate me I wonder what the corpse of the life that was burned will leave behind? The beginning of the end, that blade will someday weave something into a warp Then finally, stupidly, faintly, like the thrumming of a koto If it touched you deep down in your heart It will be a cold light dancing in perpetual night Every time my heart pulses in my veins, I can feel it getting bigger A cold kindness saved me from pain and quivering in fear Once more, it passes me by And now I wave my thoughts goodbye…