Has anyone figured out what to do with the undying rage that lives just beneath the surface? Like the fury that you constantly need to be pushing down because you know unleashing it onto others is cruel? But if you never let it out the build up causes you to explode on some unsuspecting bystander?
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Author: @julietsoddeye​
Genre: Angst | Fluff | Fantasy AU
Pairing: Xiumin x Female Reader (ft. Taeyong)
Warning: Language | Mention of ONS
Plot: Dear Diary, hopefully this is just a dream because this is not how he said it should be!
A/N: uhhhh first time writing Taeyong. I’m not a regular fan of NCT as much as I am of EXO and he isn’t even one of the members that I am fond of, so I’m sorry if I wrote him wrong… :/ Annnnd this was supposed to be a birthday thing for Minseok in fucking 2019, but I was too late. I procrastinated too much!!! LOL it’s 2021 now, so... D:
AND I’M SORRY IF THE FIRST FEW UPDATES ARE SHORT AND DOESN’T HAVE MINSEOK YET AAAAA
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You swear you are not properly aligned with the Universe, or that you’re just in the wrong dimension because these series of unfortunate events in your life couldn’t be as consistent and neverending as it is currently.
Last Monday, you checked and made sure that the final revision of the product brochure your boss asked you to prepare was perfect. So you sent it to the publishing department to have it printed and posted online.
The next day, every staff member in your department was shocked that everything was already sold out within just two hours of opening.
Turns out, the prices were changed to the lowest amount and customers flock online the moment they see everything on the company website.
You weren't just reprimanded by your boss, and your coworkers judged the hell out of you, but you also have to call to apologize and tell the first thousand customers, who were able to avail the products before the IT department could freeze the site, that their purchase wasn’t accepted.
He also told you to prepare a ‘sorry care package’ for them and compose a sincere apology letter, both printed out and by email, on behalf of the company.
You stayed until two in the morning at the office, packing all the damn freebies you have to send for free (shipping cost deducted from your own damn salary)
Thankfully, Taeyong was there to help.
Oh, Taeyong. Whatever will you do without him…
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WEDNESDAY | 20190313
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Well…
Another Wednesday, another sucky day.
What’s new?
At this day and age of my life, I’m already so used to it.
But when will my life turn? When I’m already sixty-eight and grey?
A fucking decade old floodgate opened. The relief. I've never forgiven myself and just, knowing he doesn't hate me. Never did. That he's just as mad at himself.
Fuck. OKAY UNIVERSE. I SEE YOU.
So much makes sense. All those trials. All those tests. All the suffering. I needed to learn. I needed to heal.
I have my best friend again. He has his best friend again.
anyone else get stressed when they get given a nice new notebook bc u can't just write ANYTHING in there it has to be for something u know and like once you start with a theme you have to stick to it to it bc u can't go ripping out pages oh god what do I do with this beautiful notebook
I finally have been able to let go of gifts I got for people no longer in my life.
I held onto them thinking "the next time" and because I got them to help.
After like 8 months of just collecting dust on my coffee table at my old home, especially after my final apology and forgiving myself, I was finally able to bring them to my new home.
One already has a new home. Cleansed and repurposed for Goblins I know moving into a new home and getting married.
Every home needs a giant AF selenite orb. I'm just saying. It's like the moon inside your home.
The petrified wood is great for nightmares and night terrors. Which right after cleansing, another Goblin vocalized nightmare issues so guess what they're getting, along with a bunch of other charms for sweeter sleep.
I think I will dedicate the scorpion yin/yang keychains to Isis.
The other two were too personal to figure out something else to do with them. So for now they are wrapped up and put away.
It's nice to not have the thought or sight of them way so heavy on my heart.
Situations and life changes. My love has not and will not. The reality of it all hit and for once it wasn't like a big wave. More like a ripple that makes me smile and be thankful.
Knowing all is meant to be as it will be. 🥰🖤
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
You know that weird funk? That whole what's my purpose. Why? Do I want to? What do I want then? All those dreaded ass questions.
Today, I woke up. Feeling the same. At one point I went "fuuuuuuck this" and just started doing other shit. I moved, got out of my head. Feeling a bit more neutral in the emotion department anyway.
As I'm leaving to teach my class I see my bluejay friend. I call him Bill, he has a friend named Bob, Bob was probably at home in their tree of my fathers they moved in too early last year. He didn't make a sound, just watched me.
So it's near the end of my class and in the guided meditation part I said thank you. To just everything and everyone. Birds went OFF. All around the building, enough to grab everyones attention for a bit.
I've felt better ever since. Not all bubbly and happy, but content in how life is. How we convince ourselves not moving is not living, but even plants have their time when they rest. Where they seem stagnant. Yet they grow.
So I'm here and I'm growing, even if I think I'm dying. Not all growth and life has something to show at every step. Sometime you're at an in between, a crossroads, doesn't mean it's the end.
