#jfer

sat was my sisters 21st bday and she had recently moved away to minnesota but she came back this weekend for her bday and she surprised me :) but she and elle bear came to visit me sat night and mels like well why dont u sleepover with me at moms and since it was her bday and i wont be able to see her that much anymore :/ i was like fuck yeah so we went to my moms but my mom wasnt there because she stayed at her bfs that night...anywaywe played circle of death which was fun i got a bit buzzed but my sister got fkn wasted which is good cuz it was afterall her 21st. then she got all emotional when ellen left lol but the next day which was yesterday was great. i didnt have a bad feeling all day i was super happy :) i played rock band with my brother and i did the singing part even though i cant sing i just LOVE to lol then my sister joined us. then my mom came home i usually dont get along with her but i did yesterday yay.  then we went to a cookout at my dads [me my sis and bro] and my bf came it was awesome i had some smirnoff then my dad offered me a wiskey sour and i was like ummmm HELL YEAH i had two so i was pretty almost kinda drunk by the time we left.  i ended up going back with my sis to my moms but ellen came and got us and we all went back to my house smoking WEED the whole way there we were so fkd up that we passed my city and were headed to gurnee lmao thankfully i was like "where are we" or else we wouldve drove all the way to chicago without noticing hehehehehe. but we got to my house and the boys were in the living watching the cubs [losing :/] but we packed a bowl and passed it around then tonys uncle packed a bowl mmmm and passed it around then another then they had to leave :/

but that was one of my happiest days in a while

i have a very exhausting scary and tramatic life.  filled with joys, trials, extreme highs and extreme lows.  but i can always smile because i am not like you.  i know i am different and its amazing.  i get to beleive what i want to beleive without anyone telling me this is so.  i still beleive in god but me n him have a certain understanding and its amazing.  my life...well its a journey and you would say how does she go from that moment to this one because this moment i am living in now was brought on by hate filled so n so's.  but i can laugh at them because i beleive in the same god but i know there is way more then they know :).  im glad for what i am and im glad that those ppl are rude and fake because it led me to my happiness i am indulged in now.  i thank god and my makers for this moment.  and also that i can be real and not someone else around this person and another to that person.  you're not really living unless you are the same around every single person.