#psycho killer

I haven’t slept in over 24 hours, can you tell?

Michael Myers: Your cat likes to go around the neighborhood pretending to be a stray for free food. When he escapes, Michael somehow always returns to you with him following behind as unbothered as can be. One time you managed to track him down to a neighbor’s house yourself. They refused to let you inside, insisting it wasn’t your cat staring at you from their windowsill; he just watched you from where he was perched. When you rant about it to Michael, he stares at you until you go to bed. He comes back in the middle of the night with your cat, both of them covered in blood. Your cat stays in the house for a while after that.

Stu Macher: Gets you another cat. Is perplexed when you try to explain you don’t want another cat, you want your cat. A cat is a cat, babe! When that doesn’t convince you, he offers to help you look and comes in handy when you find her stuck in a pipe. Your cat, who couldn’t stand Stu before will now barely tolerate his presence.

Billy Loomis: Surprisingly helpful; a little offended by how surprised you are by it actually. He finds your cat on the local shelter’s Facebook page with a disgruntled expression on his face that looks familiar. Billy’s not sure why you burst out laughing when you see the picture or why his frown only makes you laugh harder; there’s no need for a paternity test, he is the Father.

Bo Sinclair: You feed the strays lingering around Ambrose, despite his protests. You love them all equally, but your favorite is a tomcat that reminds you a bit of your surly partner. When he doesn't come around for a few days, Bo pretends not to care. He still buys the fancy canned food and lures the thing into the house without making a big deal of it. Don’t even mention it or he’ll kick the poor thing out just to prove a point.

Chucky: Has a hate-love relationship with your cat. You may have accused him of doing something to them when they go missing. He doesn’t deny it, wondering how you’ll react. You almost stab him is how; (un)fortunately, your cat mews at the door just before you’re about to give it to him. Great, now he’s turned on and you're giving all you attention to that thing.

Richard Joshua Reeves: This man knows how to treat a cat, especially your diva of black cat. Lowkey worships you and her, if the reverent, respectful way he refers to the two of you is any indication. Genuinely believes your cat is your familiar and you’ve cast a spell on him. ‘Why get dirty outside when there are two perfectly decent servants inside?’ — your cat probably.