#javid fluff

Jack Kelly’s smiles are not rare. He’s loud, boisterous, but in a good way. He can always be found surrounded by friends who are always laughing with- or at- each other. He’s charming, tossing smiles to anyone who looks his way, paired with a quick wink or witty remark. Everyone loves Jack and he loves being loved. It works. 

He was smiling when David met him. It was David’s first day at his new high school and he wasn’t exactly having the easiest time making friends. David was more quiet, reserved. He introduced himself to his classes and took a seat, took notes, and watched the clock. This strategy worked until lunchtime. It was harder to disappear in the cafeteria. He would have to choose where to sit, rather than being given the only open seat in a classroom. He would have to wait in line for his food and try not to get lost in the swarm of his new classmates. So, he stood at the double doors of the cafeteria, waiting to gain enough confidence to enter. With a deep breath, he set his eyes forward and began to walk inside. Immediately ahead of him was a large and loud group of students filling an entire table. Everyone was thrown over each other and laughing and chatting, having fun. At the center of the table sat this boy, presumably their pseudo-leader, literally sat on the table with his feet on the cafeteria stool next to a backpack haphazardly tossed on the ground. His head was thrown back in laughter and when he looked forward again, the remains of his laugh made obvious by the smile on his cheeks, he made eye contact with David.  

Shit. The last thing David needed was to be noticed by an entire seemingly popular friend group. He wanted to wait and find his place at this school before he tried to throw himself into friendships that wouldn’t last. But boy-on-the-table hopped up and off the stool and started walking toward David, hastily waving an acknowledging hand to his friends. Shit, shit, shit. 

“Have I seen you here before?” He said as he finally met David at the doorway. 

“Uh, no, I’m new. I’m David.” David replied, nervous. 

“Nice to meet you, Davey, name’s Jack. You looking for somewhere to sit?” Jack turned so he was walking next to David, leading him to his table. 

“You don’t have to-” 

“Don’t sweat it, we always have an open seat.” 

They did not, in fact, have an open seat. That was probably why Jack was on the table in the first place. Jack and David stood awkwardly as they realized there was no stool for Jack to lead him to. 

“Fellas, this is Davey. He’s new and therefore we are to adopt him as one of our own. David, this is everyone, I guess.” Jack gestured at his friends, who were all kindly waving and offering a chorus of “Hi, Davey’s” 

Jack took his seat back on the table and wordlessly a blonde boy who David recognized from his first period AP Chem class followed him, leaving an empty stool.  

“Your throne, sire,” he said with a flourish. “I’m Race. I sit behind you in chem, right? Sorry I didn’t introduce myself, I’m never awake enough at 8 am for socialization, let alone ionic bonds.” So, maybe David wasn’t looking to be adopted by an entire friend group but it didn’t seem too bad. They all were nice enough and at least now David had somewhere to go until he found a more solid group of friends. And, of course, who can say no to Jack Kelly’s smile? 

As it turns out, Jack and his friends are the solid friend group David was looking for. Race, Specs, and Finch were around to help him survive his AP classes with minimal damage to his mental health. Elmer, Romeo, and Albert would always be there to recap The Bachelor with him, no matter how hard the rest of their friends rolled their eyes. He could talk about music with Henry and books with Crutchie. He fit right in. And, of course, there was Jack. Jack and his awful jokes and stupid, perfect smile. Jack was quickly becoming his best friend, which was amazing and amazingly dangerous. David’s heart skipped a beat when they brushed hands in the hallway or when a patented Jack Kelly Smile was flashed in his direction. David was screwed. 

Or, he thought he was screwed. It only took one simple movie date to turn quick, stolen glances to quick, stolen kisses. As their relationship grew, David got to know Jack’s smiles on a deeply personal level. It didn’t take long for him to begin The Official (mental) List of Jack Kelly Smiles. 

The first kind was the kind everyone saw, the kind David saw when they first met. 

-

The second smile was the loving smile he shot to his friends when he thought they weren’t looking. 

Let’s be real, Jack has a lot of friends. Yet, somehow, nobody manages to get lost or left behind. It was one of the first things David noticed about Jack and one of the things that made him fall for Jack in the first place. He cared so deeply for each and every one of his friends. Their friend group may not have a real leader but Jack was certainly their rock. He always made sure everyone was invited everywhere and he was always the first to support all of his friends. 

Race was captain of the baseball team and, while he may not know much about sports, Jack went to every game. Baseball was important to Race and he worked so hard to make sure he would be able to earn a scholarship for college someday and that was enough for Jack and Crutchie to be in the front row for every single game. 

It was one of Jack’s favorite traditions. Eating sunflower seeds and chatting with Crutchie and Spot, who was otherwise hesitant to hang out with Race’s friends. David was honored when he was invited to one of Race’s games on a Friday night. 

The number of their friends who came to the games fluctuated, this week it was just Jack, Crutchie, Spot and David. David half-watched the game and half-watched Jack. Every time Race stepped up the plate Jack smiled but bit his lip as if he didn’t want to jinx anything. 

Every time Race hit the ball, which admittedly was very frequently, Jack cheered, the smile never leaving his face. The pride Jack felt for his friend, his brother, was obvious and contagious. His lips stayed turned for minutes after Race’s at-bat was over, when even Spot had moved on to snacking and talking about an upcoming quiz with Crutchie. But not Jack, Jack was watching Race stand at second base with that same smile on his face. David wanted to mention how sweet Jack was, how much he admired Jack’s love and devotion, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment. So instead, he laced their fingers together and brought Jacks's hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. He hoped that he got the message across. 

-

The third smile on David’s list was the one he shared with Medda. This was one of David’s favorites. As a momma’s boy himself he fell in love with the way Jack treated Medda with all the respect and appreciation in the world. 

The first time Jack invited David to dinner to meet Medda, David was beyond nervous. Although Medda had the reputation of being the fun mom who the rest of the boys loved, David couldn’t calm his nerves. 

He had heard the way Jack talked about Medda. He gushed his appreciation for her selflessness as she took Jack in and the way she was able to become the mother he didn’t have growing up. And how, after five years, she became more of a mother than his biological mom ever was. So, her reputation preceded her by a long shot. 

Jack and David had gone to the library after school to get homework done and were walking back to Jack’s apartment for dinner. They walked hand in hand talking about everything and nothing. They were both ramblers, each so passionate about their own interests they could go on for hours. So, it wasn’t abnormal for David to be this quiet with Jack, it was simply Jack’s turn to ramble. But still, somehow, Jack noticed something was up. 

“You okay, Davey?” Jack knocked his shoulder into David’s as they walked. 

“Nervous, I guess. I don’t wanna mess this up.” 

“You’re gonna be perfect. Last time Elmer was over we watched Rent and he sobbed for like 45 minutes and then he proceeded to set the smoke alarm off while cooking a hotdog. Medda has seen it all.” 

“Sounds like Elmer.” David nodded. “But unless you were also dating Elmer, I don’t think it’s the same.” 

“Maybe I was, you don’t know everything about me,” Jack joked. “But seriously, you’re gonna be amazing. She’s not gonna be scary or anything. She knows that you make me happy and she wants to meet you, that’s all.” 

David’s heart fluttered at the idea of Jack talking to Medda about him. He tried to find comfort in that instead of feeling intimidated by his own reputation. 

And Jack was right, Medda welcomed him into their home with open arms. They talked about school and David’s family, the conversation was easy. He complimented Medda’s cooking and Medda told David that Jack has never been as motivated in school as he’s been since he and David got together. 

David found it easy to be himself and enjoy his dinner, which was good because he was planning on spending a lot more time at Jack’s apartment in the future (Jack had his own room and David doesn’t). 

After they ate they moved to the living room to watch a movie, Jack and David on the couch and Medda on a smaller loveseat. “You picked a good one, Jack,” Medda said as she scrolled through Disney+. 

“Ma, stop.” Jack buried his head into David’s shoulder before looking back at Medda, cheeks pink with a blush. 

Jack and Medda smiled at each other and David felt like he had a window into their daily lives. Happy and comfortable with each other, sharing the same wide grin. 

It would honestly be hard for David to decide if Jack’s friends or Medda were the most important things in Jack’s life. He devoted himself entirely to his friends (as seen in smile #2) but Medda was his family. The only family he had. He openly loved Medda, never being embarrassed by how his friends tease him for being a momma’s boy, a baby. But with Jack and Medda together, smiling at each other and sharing their lives, David knew it was important that Medda liked him. More important than if Crutchie and the boys liked him, more important than anything. David knew he was safe in their smiles. 

-

The fourth kind of smile was special to David because it was only for him. 

Jack and David were in the back of David’s hand-me-down minivan, trunk open and beak seats down so they could lie in the back. His car wasn’t new or cool in the slightest but he was one of the few of their friends who had a car of his own, and that was enough. This was one of their favorite dates; they would pack snacks and blankets and drive as far upstate as they were willing to go. When the sun went down they would find a park or any open space, open the trunk and lie there for hours. Watching the sunset, watching the stars, pretending they weren’t being eaten by mosquitoes. Outside the city, they could see past the streetlights, up to the sky. It was beautiful and they were together so it was perfect. 

They would talk about everything, school, their families, their friends, their hopes, their dreams, their future. 

Or, they would sit in silence, enjoying each other's presence and looking at the sky. 

Or, of course, being teenage boys, they would make out. The thrill of being alone and away from home taking over. 

It was perfect for them. 

This particular night, Jack had fallen asleep. David let him rest. It was getting late anyway and they had a long ride home. David would rather Jack slept now so he could keep him company on the drive. Jack slept with his head resting on David’s chest and David carded his fingers through Jack’s hair.  With his other hand, David texted his parents, saying he’d leave for home soon and replied to some texts in the group chat with his friends. He was completely relaxed. He couldn’t help but think of a life where this was his day to day. Lying with Jack, fingers in his hair, looking at the stars. He wouldn’t have to tell his parents where he was going or when he’d come home. He wouldn’t have to separate from Jack at the end of the night, leaving him with a goodnight kiss but yearning for more. For Jack in bed next to him when he goes to sleep and when he wakes up in the morning. 

Maybe someday. For sure someday, if David had anything to say about it. 

But for now, David had to bring Jack home. With a kiss to the top of his head, he began to wake Jack up. 

“Jackie, we gotta get home.” Jack looked up and David and yawned, then smiled. 

This smile was different from what Race and Crutchie saw or what Medda saw. This was a sleepy, lovesick smile that was for David only. That proved to David that Jack wanted their future, too. He wanted to sleep with David and actually sleep with David every night, to live the rest of their lives together. 

Jack’s eyes were still closed but he still looked at David, without breaking his smile he asked: “Do we have to leave?”

David sat up, forcing Jack to move from his position on his chest. “You’re the one with a curfew, babe, not me.” 

“Forget the curfew, I wanna stay.” Despite his words, Jack stood and walked to the passenger seat. 

Sliding into the driver’s seat, David kissed Jack’s temple. “You know I don’t wanna get on Medda’s bad side.” David backed out of the parking lot they were in, some random baseball field a couple miles off the highway. 

“You’re too far on the good side to get demoted for one missed curfew.” Jack waited for David to merge onto the highway and took his right hand, kissing his knuckles and letting their hands rest on his lap. 

Jack doesn’t drive but he loves being a passenger. He liked sitting with his knees pointed toward David, talking and singing to the radio. He liked looking out the window at the long stretches of road. 

David liked driving, it was therapeutic to him, they were the perfect pair. 

-

The fifth Jack Kelly Smile was the wide, open-mouthed grin of Jack’s laugh. 

Jack laughed a LOT. He never took himself too seriously and his friends were all hilarious in their own kind of layered-inside-joke way. They were notorious for disrupting classes with side conversations turned to wholehearted laughter, especially as there were just so many of them they were bound to always have a friend or two in class. That was part of what was so beautiful about their friend group. They were all friends with each other, no subgroups. Any combination of their friends could be comfortable hanging out at any given moment. That was part of what made David feel so comfortable with them when he first came to their school. 

Anyway, lots of friends plus a goofy personality equals always laughing. David loved Jack’s laugh. It was loud and obnoxious and not at all charming like the rest of his personality. Crutchie likes to tease him for it, saying it keeps him humble. 

David’s favorite is when Jack laughs until he cries. He loves the pure joy on his face as everything falls away except for him and whatever he’s laughing at. 

Like the time they all went bowling and Race slipped down the lane because he refused to wear bowling shoes. Or when Crutchie gave a dramatic reading of Othello for their English class in the worst British accent Jack had ever heard. 

Jack would throw his head back and laugh until no noise could come out anymore. Then, the only way you could tell he was laughing and not crying would be the way his smile never left his face. Tears would rush down his cheeks and his face would grow red but his smile never faltered. 

And as they sat now, in Jack’s living room, surrounded by all their friends, Jack was laughing with tears on his cheeks. Ever the affectionate type, Jack was sprawled across his friends, legs on Finch’s lap and head on David’s. David wasn’t sure that Jack actually knew what he was laughing at, at this point. But he was surrounded by the best people he knew and that was enough. 

When Jack finally gained control over his breathing, David wiped the tears from Jack’s cheeks with his thumbs before leaning down and kissing him on the forehead.

Looking at that smile he couldn’t help himself. “I love you, Jack,” he said as if they were the only two in the room or even the world. 

Davey nodded toward Jack, who was already starting toward him. Of course. Jack knew social cues well enough but more often than not chose to ignore them in favor of…doing whatever he wanted to. He let out a half-hearted chuckle in reply to his own thought as Jack took a seat beside him on the roof, shoving a chair out of the way.

Jack stretched his legs out in front of him and wiggled them around, trying to get comfortable. “You okay?”

“What?” Davey shook his head, trying to drop his thoughts. “Oh, yeah. I’m. . .fine. It just got loud down there. I needed a little bit of space.”

Jack chuckled beside him, looking up at the sky. “I don’t blame ya. It can definitely be. . .overwhelming at first.” He tossed the word around in his mouth for a couple of seconds, as if he wasn’t sure if he was using it right or not. “I just wanted to check up on ya and make sure you were doin’ alright. I know you usually go home in the evenings, and then you left but Les was still here. . ..” He paused, wringing his hands together.

For the first time, Jack looked vulnerable. That was a look Davey was certain he would never see on the boy. “I asked Elmer if he’d seen ya. You two seem close. He told me he saw you go upstairs but I skipped the top floor and went right to the roof. I knew you’d be up here,” Jack explained.

“You’re. . .you’re better at figuring people out than I thought, Jack.” It was true—Elmer, the smiley boy (they all had little nicknames in Davey’s head that made them easier to recognize: Race was the loud boy, Albert was the strong boy, Finch was the slingshot boy, and so on and so forth), had asked him in the second day is he played chess, and subsequently became the first person in over five years to beat him in a game. Elmer, who couldn’t have been more than a few years older than Les, was mostly quiet and rather patient and eager to learn whatever words Davey would teach him that day. “It’s just. . .it’s taking me a while to get used to. It’s so different.” Davey shuffled his feet, then rested his elbows on his knees, his head cupped in his hands. He didn’t look at Jack, just stared at the glowing city. “I miss going to school. Not that this is bad. Just different.”

“Tell me about it,” Jack said. It wasn’t a statement; rather, it was a question.

Davey looked over at him and Jack’s green eyes met his brown ones with a look of sincere curiosity, wide and child-like in their silent interrogation of him. “Well, what do you want to know?”

Jack reclined on the roof, putting his hands behind his head after taking his hat off and laying it on the concrete so his hands wouldn’t get scraped up. “I’ve never been to school, you know that. Tell me about it. What kind’a building is it? Do you like your teachers? Got friends there?”

Davey chuckled at Jack’s antics. “It’s a big building, sure, but it’s nothing grand. Bricks, some wood. And my teachers are nice, sure. Some of the other students don’t enjoy learning as much as I do, but I don’t understand why. . .if they’ve got the opportunity to learn, why not take it? Some kids aren’t so luc—” he stopped himself mid-sentence and pursed his lips, shoving his hands into his pockets and awkwardly worming his way back to his chair. He wasn’t aware that he’d stood up at all and had begun to wildly gesticulate around as he became more and more aggravated. “Oh, Jack, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

There wasn’t any sort of emotion on Jack’s face besides a half-hearted smile. “It don’t matter. I’m glad you get to do what you like. What’s your favorite thing to study?”

A wistful look took over Davey’s features—eyes wide, mouth slightly open, cheeks flushed—as the gears began to turn in his head. “People,” he said quietly. “I like people, and I want to understand how people think. That’s why I thought it was so interesting that you pinpointed Elmer and me as friends so accurately even though we’ve only hung out a couple of times together.”

“You don’t got a whole lot of friends. I mean, you got us, but-“

Davey dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “I’ve found that Americans make friends much more easily than Germans do, especially children.”

Jack furrowed his brow and sat up. “What makes you think that?”

“Well, I’m not from here. America.” He sat down on the roof opposite Jack, crossing his legs underneath him. “My family and I are from Stuttgart, Germany.” When he said his hometown, a thick German accent suddenly appeared in his words as they rolled around on his tongue. Davey grabbed the hem of his shirt in his hands and began to explain to Jack who he was before they met, all seventeen years of it condensed down into only several minutes: “My mother and father, and my brother, Isaac, and my sister, Sarah and I. . .we all lived there for seven years before mama became pregnant with Les and papa decided it would be good for the family to move to America. And it wasn’t…it wasn’t just because of jobs, or anything like that. It was because of who we are. People were getting angry at people like us.”

Davey reached under his collar and pulled out a gold chain, a Star of David dangling off of it. It twirled and sparkled in the moonlight. He glanced at Jack, watching the way he watched the pendant, and slowly unclasped the chain from his neck, gently sitting it in his hands. “That’s the only thing I brought from home. We left everything else when we boarded the ship. We changed our last name to Jacobs from Yakoov to fit in.” He paused, mulling over his words as Jack silently handed the necklace back. “My father and brother knew some English, but my mother and I didn’t know a word. We had to learn everything from scratch when we came here.”

“You got another brother? How come he ain’t a newsie too?” Jack inquired.

The question was innocent enough. Davey ducked his head. “I’m, um, I’m getting there. It’s. . .it’s a long story. You don’t have to listen to the rest of it if you don’t want to—”

“Aw, Davey, we got all night. The boys’ll be up until three in the morning at this rate. I got time. Really, I don’t mind listenin’. You’re good at tellin’ stories, ya know that? Even if it’s just who ya were before you can here. I wanna know that Davey.”

Davey let out a small sigh. “Well, he was David, for starters,” he said, laughing. Jack laughed along with him, picking up the small giggles and turning them into a full-bellied guffaw. “And he. . .he had a hard time fitting in with the other students. He didn’t speak their language, and he didn’t go their church. He wasn’t a part of them. He’s still not.” Another brief pause before he met Jack’s eyes again. “He was scared a lot, and now he’s scared again, because. . .oh, Jack, it’s the same thing all over again. I’m not anything like you guys. You guys talk different. You all come back here and you talk about the strike and I’m scared all over again.”

Davey wasn’t aware, again, that the pair had been leaning into each other. He pulled away from Jack quickly and stood up, shaking his head. “I know I agreed to help you out because that’s the right thing to do, but I’m afraid, Jack. If you’ve been paying attention, then you know what’s happening with the trolley strikers. They’re getting beaten up. They’re getting killed, Jack. They’re killing them over there.”

“You talk more when you’re nervous, you know that?”

“Absolutely.”

The conversation lulled for several minutes. Jack stayed on the ground and watched him shove his hands into his pockets, a typical action for him; it helped Davey stop his hands from shaking, gave him the illusion of contempt and control.

“How do you know they’re killin’ the trolley workers? Not that I don’t take your word for it. I jus’ haven’t seen anything in the papes about it.”

Davey dismissed him with a chuckle. “I’m surprised you read the papers on account that you make up half of what you say,” he smarted back. The response was instant, a jab to thwart the pain rising up inside of Davey’s chest, the kind of hurt that came from a fresh wound being torn open again. “My brother, Isaac, was one of the trolley workers.”

He didn’t elaborate, not yet, just let his words sink in to Jack. Jack was smart, as much as he pretended he wasn’t. Surely he knew exactly what Davey meant. The silence that hung between the pair was deafening now. “I mean, maybe he was the only one. And it was an accident. They set. . .they set fire to some of the trolley cars. If there’s no trolley cars, they don’t have to go to work, right? If we rip up all the newspapers, there’s nothing left to sell—"

Davey felt Jack’s hand wrap around his fist. He jerked away, but Jack seemed prepared and only tightened his grip. “You’re shakin’ real bad, Davey—”

“They didn’t even find his body. I yelled at him the night before for getting into my stuff, Jack. I didn’t. . .I didn’t even get a proper goodbye.”

Jack dropped his wrist and watched as Davey crumpled to the ground, tucking his knees up into his chest. His shoulders moved up and down, up and down as he sniffled quietly. After several minutes, he looked up, wiped his hands over his eyes, then stood up.

“That’s why Les and Sarah and I all had to go to work after papa had a stack of iron fall on his leg. Because Isaac died.” Davey shoved his hands into his pockets and swallowed, refusing to make eye contact with Jack.

Jack didn’t know what to say. Usually, he would try to alleviate this kind of situation with a half-hearted joke, but something told him that Davey was not the kind of person that something like that would work on. Davey needed space to work things through on his own time. He sat down on the ground again, picking at the sides of his fingers. “Jewish people. . .you guys believe in Heaven, right?” Davey nodded solemnly in reply. “Well, I bet Isaac’s lookin’ down on ya, right now. And he’s seein’ how hard you’re trying to do the kinds of things that he couldn’t. I bet he’s real proud of ya, Davey. I bet he’s sending down a little extra luck.”

Davey shook his head, the beginnings of a smile starting to form on his face. “You think that.”

“Aw, shucks, I know it, Davey. Hey, listen—I’m gonna head back down with the other fellas, alright? Come back when you’re ready. Let me know if you need anything, alright?”

The boy nodded again, wiping at his face one more time. “Thank you, Jack. I’ll be down in a couple of minutes.”

Jack left without saying another word. Davey didn’t know how he felt inside. He was still worried about not being accepted by the rough-and-tumble newsboys. He was still worried that the strike could fail. He was still worried that, in a way, Isaac was still angry with him.

The one thing Davey Jacobs no longer had to worry about was being alone. Because now he had Jack and Jack would make sure he was safe. Davey stared up at the sky, watched the stars wink back at him.