#it angst

“Mr. Denbrough?” Bill didn’t notice who was calling. He was able to hear the faint commotion coming from his phone. It wasn’t you or Stan.

“Yes, it’s me.” He was a little bit irritated since he had been interrupted. He had a deadline, and as he looked at his computer screen, he noticed that nothing had been done in the past hour. He sighed.

“We’re reaching out to you regarding your wife-”

“Is she ok? What happened? Where is she?” Bill went instantly into panic mode.

“Mr. Denbrough, please calm down. She’s okay. We just want to notify you that she, well, at your house, there has been—” Bill didn’t even let the person on the other side finish when he quickly stood up, grabbed his jacket, and left his office. 

He’s been having this unsettling feeling in the bottom of his stomach all day long. At first, he tried to brush it off, knowing you and Stan were fine, both of you saying your goodbyes as always, but now… And don’t even get him started with Mike’s call in the evening. Do you know? Maybe something happened when you heard the news of It’s comeback.

As Bill approached your shared home, he could see the ambulances and police cars outside your residence. Feeling his heart race, he really didn’t know what to expect from what was unfolding in front of him. Did you get injured? Did something happen to Stan? No, no time for overthinking, he thought. Priorities.

When Bill stepped onto your lawn, he could see you sitting down on your porch steps. He quickly passed the officers who were there. As he came closer to you, he was able to see your hands and clothes, all covered in blood. 

“Holy shit, angel, what happened? Are you ok?” Bill knelt right in front of you, but you were unresponsive. Your eyes weren’t even looking at Bill. They seemed lost, without any spark whatsoever.

Bill started to shake your body in order to get a reaction from you, but nothing came of it. As he continued to shake you, he was able to notice that the blood that was on your body wasn’t yours at all. You didn’t seem to be hurt. “What happened? Please, Y/n, where’s Stan?”

For the first time during that evening, for the first time since the police and ambulance arrived, you reacted. You turned your head to Bill, and that’s when reality hit you like a punch right in the face. Stan, your Stan was gone.

“He… He is… I cannot believe it happened like I was right here. I should’ve known better, I-” As you started to ramble, Bill was able to see far away in an ambulance what appeared to be a bag that’s used to transport bodies. His heart fell to the bottom of his stomach.

“He never locks the door. I should’ve known something was up,” you kept saying. However, no emotion was seen on your face. It was like you were in auto-pilot mode as if you were just repeating something that had been going through your mind.

A lump was forming on Bill’s throat. First, he has to get you to react. Hell, he would even appreciate it if you shouted and broke everything in your sight.

“Hey, Y/n, please, look at me. Just look at me.” Bill grabbed your cheeks with both of his hands, trying to make you look only at him. For a moment, you stayed in silence, and your phone rang.

You didn’t even dare move. Bill took your phone from the back pocket of your jeans. His heart stopped after he saw the area code and phone number—the same phone number that called him that same evening.

“Hi Mike.”

“Bill?” Mike’s voice sounded a little bit surprised—just a little bit. “I thought this was Y/n’s phone number,” Bill sighed.

“It is. She’s not here right now.” Bill really couldn’t explain your state to Mike through the phone.

“Well, you already know why I’m calling. We will be waiting for you two then.” After confirming with Mike that the two of you were going to return to Derry, Bill hung up, and still, there was no reaction from you.

“Mr. Denbrough?” a police officer came closer to him. 

“Yes, that’s me. Do you know what happened?” In the corner of his eye, Bill tried to see if you finally reacted, but nothing.

“By any chance, do you know Stanley Uris?” Bill nodded. If his brain wasn’t wrong, and if he isn’t that dumb, he may know what happened, but he really wishes he was wrong. “You wife, ahm, is he a friend?” Bill tried his best to remain calm. He just wanted to know if his suspicion was correct or not. He didn’t have time to explain how the relationship between the three of you worked.

“It’s hard to explain if I’m honest, but yes, Stan… Stanley, he’s close to us.” the officer only nodded, trying to not be nosy and trying his best to give the news to Bill.

“Well, we received a call from your wife. Mr. Uris locked himself in the bathroom, and your wife, when she was able to enter the room, saw him in the bathtub. He… He committed suicide. Your wife found him.” tears started to fall down Bill’s cheeks. He tried his best to maintain his composure. Bill tried to answer the officer, but nothing came out. It was as if when he tried to speak, a brutal scream would come out. His best friend since childhood, a fundamental part of this special thing they had with you, was gone. He could only nod.

The officer tried to give his condolences, but he just left. 

Bill stayed there, standing in front of you. He started playing with your hair, trying his best to keep you at least calm. He wasn’t even sure if you could feel his touch; it was as if you had frozen in time. But he tried his best to feel you, to make sure you knew he was there with you, that you weren’t alone anymore. He understood your state now. Finding Stan must have been horrible and brutal.

As the minutes passed, people started leaving the area. The officers, the doctors on site, the nosy neighbors, and the passers-by. The two of you remained in that same spot, not really moving, trying to escape the reality you were living.

When the last police car left your house, Bill tried his best to get you to react, but you still seemed so lost. He wanted to get inside. However, a big part would be missing if you entered the house.

“Do you want to get in?” Bill asked, and you only nodded. Even if Stan wasn’t going to be there anymore, it was the last place he was with you.

Bill picked you up in bridal style. He knew it was the best way to get inside quickly. He didn’t need to open the door since it was left open by the last officer who was at your house. He sat you on your living room couch and returned to close the front door. The silence was unsettling. This house has never been this silent. It was always filled with the faint sound of music that you loved to leave in the background as Stan was cooking or as the two of you were reading books. There was also the sound of Bill typing on his computer while you and Stan talked about your day, wanting to include Bill in whatever you could. The laughs you would let out whenever Bill and Stan wanted to get your attention with their silly jokes and remarks. And the list could go on and on. But now, it was dead silent.

Bill sat at the coffee table in front of you. And that’s when he could finally see you cry. Not that Bill liked the view of your crying, but you were now reacting, something that at least made him feel that you came back to this reality.

“I’m so sorry, Bill,” you whispered. Bill’s heart shattered into a million pieces.

“No, hey, listen to me, Y/n.” Bill quickly grabbed your cheek with one hand while the other grabbed your left arm. “Why are you apologizing, angel?”

“He… He told me he was going to take a bath. He was acting weird. I really didn’t want to bother him. I thought that maybe if I let him and gave him space, he would later tell us what happened. But as the minutes passed, I got more anxious.” You let out a cry. Both of Bill’s hands were now cleaning all the tears that were rolling down. Bill also started crying, but he was trying his best to be silent so you could continue explaining what happened.

“I should’ve known better. He sounded weird… His voice was haunted Bill. I cannot explain it. But Stan, it was like he saw a ghost.” Bill gulped. He knew what made Stan do what he did. And to be honest? He couldn’t really blame him. He remembered how Pennywise scared Stan the most. Even if all of the losers made it out alive, Stan was never really the same.

It was like all the memories were coming back at him like flashes one by one. He couldn’t really understand how he forgot all those memories of that summer. It was as if his brain was playing tricks.

How can someone live with the two people who also experienced such an important and a little bit traumatic event when the three of you were 13 years old and then just forget about everything? Bill knew it wasn’t the best moment to bring this up, but you need to know all the context. At least you will then understand what happened.

“I received a call today, too. I believe it was from the same person that called Stan, and that same person also called you.”

“What?” Bill knew there was no good way to tell you the news.

“Do you remember our childhood? Specifically when we were thirteen?” you frowned. What does this have to do with Stan?

“I…” When you actually tried to recall that year, you couldn’t, as if all those memories were wiped out from your brain. “I don’t…”

“Mike called. Mike Hanlon. It’s back.” Fuck.

Bill saw your face slowly turn into horror. You quickly stood up and made your way to the kitchen sink, holding what you felt was what you had eaten that day. You finally understood. It was as if your body needed a way to get out all the fear, anxiety, and sadness you had experienced for the last hours. As you cleaned the corners of your mouth with water, you felt Bill coming closer, and he gave you a towel to dry yourself.

“Please tell me this is a sick joke, Bill.” Bill shook his head. That fucking clown. “But I don’t get it. When did Mike call me?” Bill handed you your phone. You didn’t even notice when he took it, but you couldn’t care less. It took something from you, It took something from Bill again. It’s not fair. “I don’t want to go back, Bill. I can’t.” your whole body plumbed to the kitchen floor. He sat next to you.

“We…” Bill knew the following words coming out of his mouth weren’t the best for you to hear right now, not after losing Stan. “We made a promise. We have to.” You were covering your face with your hands after hearing Bill. Tears continue falling down your face. You knew he was right. You knew that, maybe, you were the only people in the entire world who could stop Pennywise for good. But how could you actually do it? You barely made it out alive 27 years ago. What made you think this time would be different? You haven’t even returned to Derry, and you’ve already lost one of you. 

“I know Bill, but-” 

“We have to stop him. If we don’t do it, more people are going to keep disappearing, more people are going to live what we have gone through.”

“Bill, to be honest, I couldn’t care less. He took Stan, he took Georgie, what if he takes one of our friends, or worse, you?” you were starting to get anxious. You cannot lose Bill, too.

“That’s why we must return to Derry, Y/n.” Bill hugged you, and you rested your head on his shoulder. “For Stan, and for… Georgie.” Bill felt a knot in his throat. He wouldn’t lie, he was shitting bricks. He was scared, but his anger and thirst for justice - more like vengeance, were more significant. 

“You cannot die, Bill. I can’t lose you. I don’t think I could handle another loss.” Bill sighed. 

“I promise I won’t die. I won’t leave you, my angel.”

“Then I guess we will be going to Derry.”

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