#iodic

iodic - alternative flags.

symbol from photopea.

Queerplatonic: a term for a relationship that bends the rules for telling apart romantic relationships from non-romantic relationships. It typically goes beyond what is considered normal or socially acceptable for a platonic relationship but is not romantic in nature or does not fully fit the traditional idea of a romantic relationship.

Iodic: a term for aromantic and other a-spec people that can be used to describe their ideal relationship. an iodic person’s ideal relationship would be more emotionally involved than what’s typically associated with friendship in western society, and would have a similar level of closeness to what is typically associated with romance.

Callistic: a term for aromantic and other a-spec people that can be used to describe their ideal relationship. callistic describes a-spec people who do not want a queerplatonic relationship, close friendship, or anything similar.

Europic: a term for aromantic and other a-spec people that can be used to describe their ideal relationship. a europic person is somewhere inbetween callistic and iodic. their ideal relationship would be more emotionally involved than what’s typically associated with friendship in western society, but they do not want to completely committed to their partner.

Appromour: a type of relationship which is not quite a queerplatonic relationship but also not quite romantic. people in an appromour may desire or be comfortable expressing and performing a number of typically romantic activities, and they may live together or get married. it may look like and may be very close to a romantic relationship but is still decidedly not romantic.

Queeragamic: a term for a deep, emotional connection that transcends common conceptions of friendships and their importance but does not involve sexual acts.

Passionate Friendship: a nonsexual, nonromantic, emotionally and physically intimate relationship between friends. this friendship serves as a primary relationship, so if the people involved create a hierarchy of relationships in their lives, the passionate friendship is either their most important relationship or one of their most important relationships, entirely equal to the other most important. it can also be a relationship where it is unclear whether the feelings are “romantic” or “nonromantic” for one or more of the people involved.

Companionate: where one does not wish to have a romantic or sexual relationship but still wants a deep relationship with someone.

Wavership: a form of relationship where the exact type of relationship changes. for example, one day the relationship might be romantic, the next day it might be queerplatonic, a platonic bond another, and a soft romo relationship another day. wavership can also be used when the exact nature of a relationship isn't known by the people in the relationship, but they know it's a partnership of some kind.

Semiship: a term for relationship that is in a “gray area” of relationships. a semiship is a relationship that isn’t as committed or “deep” as relationships are expected to be, by the preference of those involved.

Softromo: a term used by a-spec communities to describe a relationship that is a "low level romantic relationship". it is typically somewhere in between a romantic relationship and queerplatonic relationship, with the parties having some amount of romantic feelings and/or romantic actions, but not fully, as seen in "normal" romantic relationships.

For awhile now I've been wanting terms to describe the type of relationship I want, as an aro person. So I decided to make my own terms; callistic, europic, and iodic. They're based on the "closeness" of the people involved.

Callistic: Someone who doesn't want a qpr or something similar. They may want platonic bonds but some might not. It's similar to aplatonic or nonamorous.

Europic: Someone who wants a qpr, a close friendship, or something similar. This person's ideal relationship would be more emotionally involved than what's typically associated with friendship. They might even do things that are typically "romance coded" like cuddling or kissing. However, they wouldn't want to do things like cohabitate, and they wouldn't want to plan their life around another other person.

Iodic: Someone who wants a qpr, close friendship or similar, however they want a level of closeness that's typically seen in romantic relationships. Their ideal relationship might involve doing things that are typically "romance coded" like going on dates, and celebrating anniversaries. When making major life decisions they would want to do it with their partner(s). They might even want to live together, get married, and/or adopt pets or children.

flags for the terms that i coined a couple days ago, callistic, europic, and iodic

callistic: an aro person who doesn’t want a queerplatonic relationship, a life defining friendship or something similar (similar to aplatonic or nonamorous)

europic: an aro person who wants a qpr, strong friendship or similar, but doesn’t want it to define their life/doesn’t want to do traditionally “romantic-coded” things

iodic: an aro person who wants a qpr, strong friendship or similar and wants a level of commitment and/or affection that’s typically only reserved for romantic relationships

color meanings below the cut:

1) the idea line between "romance-like" and "not romance-like" is very blurry, and i intentionally tried to word the definitions to be as vague as possible. The definition is entire based on what you personally consider to be traits of romantic relationships.

2) Yes, in an ideal world we would not have "romance-coded" actions. People could do anything they want together and there would be no assumptions made about the nature of their relationship. However, we do not live in an ideal world. As much as we wish for this to be reality, we are all affected by society and we all have subconscious associations. Just look at how many aro-spec people dislike the idea of kissing. In an ideal world you would be able to kiss your friends and have it be no big deal, because kissing isn't an inherently romantic activity. So does that means all aro-spec people who are repulsed by kissing are bad because they're reenforcing the idea that actions can be romance-coded? Of course not, different people will have didn't comfort levels with everything. However, it fair to say that, for many of these people at least, kissing is a romantic-coded activity, which is why they, as an aro-spe person might feel uncomfortable with it.

So yes, the idea of inherently romance-coded activities don't exist. However, everyone has their own ideas of romance-coded activities that simple come from the fact that we live in a society.

Until we actually live in that ideal world, where no one has any preconceived notions of romantic activities, I think it can be useful to draw a distinction between aro-spec people who are comfortable with preforming actions that are commonly preserved as romantic and aro-spec people who aren't.