#queeragamic

Queerplatonic: a term for a relationship that bends the rules for telling apart romantic relationships from non-romantic relationships. It typically goes beyond what is considered normal or socially acceptable for a platonic relationship but is not romantic in nature or does not fully fit the traditional idea of a romantic relationship.

Iodic: a term for aromantic and other a-spec people that can be used to describe their ideal relationship. an iodic person’s ideal relationship would be more emotionally involved than what’s typically associated with friendship in western society, and would have a similar level of closeness to what is typically associated with romance.

Callistic: a term for aromantic and other a-spec people that can be used to describe their ideal relationship. callistic describes a-spec people who do not want a queerplatonic relationship, close friendship, or anything similar.

Europic: a term for aromantic and other a-spec people that can be used to describe their ideal relationship. a europic person is somewhere inbetween callistic and iodic. their ideal relationship would be more emotionally involved than what’s typically associated with friendship in western society, but they do not want to completely committed to their partner.

Appromour: a type of relationship which is not quite a queerplatonic relationship but also not quite romantic. people in an appromour may desire or be comfortable expressing and performing a number of typically romantic activities, and they may live together or get married. it may look like and may be very close to a romantic relationship but is still decidedly not romantic.

Queeragamic: a term for a deep, emotional connection that transcends common conceptions of friendships and their importance but does not involve sexual acts.

Passionate Friendship: a nonsexual, nonromantic, emotionally and physically intimate relationship between friends. this friendship serves as a primary relationship, so if the people involved create a hierarchy of relationships in their lives, the passionate friendship is either their most important relationship or one of their most important relationships, entirely equal to the other most important. it can also be a relationship where it is unclear whether the feelings are “romantic” or “nonromantic” for one or more of the people involved.

Companionate: where one does not wish to have a romantic or sexual relationship but still wants a deep relationship with someone.

Wavership: a form of relationship where the exact type of relationship changes. for example, one day the relationship might be romantic, the next day it might be queerplatonic, a platonic bond another, and a soft romo relationship another day. wavership can also be used when the exact nature of a relationship isn't known by the people in the relationship, but they know it's a partnership of some kind.

Semiship: a term for relationship that is in a “gray area” of relationships. a semiship is a relationship that isn’t as committed or “deep” as relationships are expected to be, by the preference of those involved.

Softromo: a term used by a-spec communities to describe a relationship that is a "low level romantic relationship". it is typically somewhere in between a romantic relationship and queerplatonic relationship, with the parties having some amount of romantic feelings and/or romantic actions, but not fully, as seen in "normal" romantic relationships.

There’s an important difference between “I’m uncomfortable with people assuming that I have sex” and “I don’t want to be associated with people who have sex because I believe they are wrong/dirty.”

It’s a common enough ace experience to be uncomfortable with the idea that other people assume you are having sex. Feeling that discomfort is not in any way sex-shaming people who do choose to have sex.

Assuming that an ace person is somehow sex-shaming other people because they are personally uncomfortable with sex is textbook acephobia. Like that’s the oldest one in the book. And I’ve been seeing a lot of that from the aro community wrt this term, and I’m not happy about it.

Now, that’s not to say that people can’t express this feeling poorly -- they sometimes do. But the person who coined “queeragamic” did make it clear that it was about their personal discomfort, and people are willfully misinterpreting that at this point. If a person words this feeling badly, and makes a correction to clarify that they didn’t mean it that way, and you continue to choose to interpret it that way? That’s acephobic.

Anyway, I’m done with allo aros using their identity as a shield to say the exact same things about aces that exclusionists do. And I’m sad that other aces are falling for that nonsense.

A few attempts at queeragamic pride flag edits.

@queerplatonicpositivity

Bonus:

like there’s nothing. inherent about a qpr. it’s like a non queerplatonic relationship, a romantic relationship for example. someone saying “this is my bf/gf/jf” doesn’t tell you anything more than they are dating romantically. it’s the same with a qpr. like are people making new terms for bf/gf/jf just because some people in them fuck and you want to specify you don’t?? no. bc that’s dumb.

[ ID: Several pride flag phone lock screens. Each has confetti in the top left and bottom right corners and the phrase “The world is better with me in it” in cursive black font in the middle. Flags are queeragamic, queerplatonic, alloaro, alloace, aroace, oriented aroace, lithromantic, quoiromantic. END ID ]