#intp ask

Hahahahaha

Here’s the thing: I’m an introvert. I thought it would be chill, but there are so many people at home that I actually have to leave the house to recharge. I don’t like, go anywhere. Just to the reservoir near my house.

So, a) you, anon, gave me a horribly difficult question b) IM SO SORRY I HAVENT ANSWERED THIS SOONER I FEEL AWFUL

I think this is one of the most difficult questions i’ve ever answered, actually. I ended up thinking about it and talking to INTP about it ever since i got this, trying to figure out the differences and all that. i’d never thought about it in quite this way so it took me a very long time to figure out what i wanted to say. 

As for how i process it, my Fi shows up for me in stages. first, i think “oh god, it’s a feeling, RUN AWAY.” then i quarantine it and try to ignore it for as long as possible. then when things build up and i finally burst, i have a very physical emotional reaction, usually anger. then it goes back to quarantine and i mentally dissect it and logic myself out of the emotional hole i dug for myself. sounds super sarcastic, but no joke that’s usually pretty much what happens.

comparisons: i picked out a couple core things here

- my Fi means that i deal with stuff internally and i usually haven’t the slightest idea how to explain it to another person, externally. INTP is not like that. he actually wants to talk about his feelings, you just have to convince him to do it first. with him, the “offer to listen but don’t push” tactic works well to encourage him to get stuff out. with me, you HAVE to push, and you also have to be extraordinarily patient, because i will fight having to talk about it for as long as possible, even if i want to talk about it, because i don’t know how to.

- while both of us need to be really pushed before we get truly angry, our ways of showing annoyance are different. i either go quiet and glare or take it out on people around me who make the mood worse.

- INTP actually needs external validation A LOT. he needs to hear that people like him and care about him on a daily basis, and he likes to hear it from as many people as he can, but especially his very close friends and me of course. I’m different. I have crazy trust issues so the only external validation i want comes from him and my INFJ, since they’re the only people that it would kill me to lose. everyone else’s opinion of me is something i only care about in terms of usefulness.

- INTP is much better at explaining his emotions. for me, emotions are extremely confusing and i almost never fully understand what i’m feeling at a given time. when he talks about it, he always has a very coherent explanation and knows exactly what’s bothering him. i literally never do, i am not in touch with my emotions at all.

- even though he is better at dealing with emotions, i’m definitely more sensitive. i’m easily frustrated because i’m a perfectionist and that leads to a permanent state of annoyance basically. i’m always very aware of things affecting me emotionally, i just never know what to do about it. INTP is the opposite. he always knows what to do about it lol. 

- it shows up in our arguing styles a little bit too, combined with Te vs Ti. INTP will argue any idea from any side, any time. it doesn’t matter whether he agrees with it or not, he’ll argue it. he does it for the fun of it. his opinions, though, are very well defined, even if he hides them at times, and they’re decided much more subjectively than mine. his thinking style in general is more subjective than mine which, i guess, you could attribute to the fact that he’s TiFe and I’m TeFi. i’m different from him in that i almost never interject in a debate (i’m usually content to let him handle it) but when i do, it is a very well thought out argument that typically was designed to destroy the opposition and give them no room to retaliate. i end the argument instead of enjoy it, basically lol. i also have very few concrete opinions. it’s a legitimate annoyance, i find it almost impossible to do. i think it’s because i see the merits of mulitple sides and therefore usually can’t find the right middle ground, so i just don’t, i guess? i don’t know, that’s hard to explain.

well, yeah. there you go. some stuff about Fi and Fe in my brother and me. sorry again that it took me so long, but here you are!

Hello! Thank you for the ask. I’ve met several INTPs. So, instead of healthy vs. unhealthy you guys get immature vs. mature.

Immature INTP

1. My first impressions of them: cool, collected, confident, well-liked, knowledgeable, child-like when happy and in their element.

2. My current impression of them: a fucking shit storm. That really sums it up, but I’ll elaborate for the fun of it. Never considers the impact of their actions, completely ignorant to their own feelings, no idea how to appropriately respond to their feelings and is fully willing to hurt everyone else in their endeavor to not take responsibility for any of their emotions or actions, irresponsible, can’t communicate to save their damn life even if you’re asking a rather straightforward question, completely inept at starting or holding a conversation unless you manage to pry enough on a topic they find interesting, incompetent at handling any practical or necessary matters in life, doesn’t care about anyone unless for some mysterious reason they decide they actually like you at which point if you accept friendship you get dragged into the shit storm, shockingly still well-liked by quite a few, extremely low self-confidence but no attempt to improve anything, entertained by being a low-key dick, completely unmotivated to do or solve anything, and prone to not tell you literally anything even if it has a significant impact on you (ex. this fucker would break up with someone and not bother/forget to tell them), oh and extremely knowledgeable and in-depth opinions on a few specific topics.

3. My relationship with them: ex-friends by my intentional decision and action.

Mature INTP

1. My first impression of them: quiet, cunning, well-spoken, relaxed, personable, quirky.

2. My current impression: (same as above, plus) incredible, cuddly, friendly but critical of others, intelligent and competent, very skilled, considerate and actually very warm and supportive about emotional matters, well thought-out opinions based in reason and sometimes science but still listen to opposing arguments and when appropriate with understanding or while keeping their opinions hidden, one was from a different culture and actually rather strictly upheld social norms while the other threw ALL social convention to the wind except for that which was outwardly (reasonably so) hurtful to others, rather reserved around those they don’t know or don’t like, very sarcastic, funny and uplifting goofy moments, very lovable and charming all the more so the more you get to know them, extremely dedicated and focused when working.