INTP

- smiling in public, frowning when alone - appreciative of the art in movies and songs - never off social media - has trouble not seeing people as uncooperative chess pieces - big spender - says yes to every party and isn’t shy to contact friends, aka a networking god - beauty enthusiast but prefers natural and professional-looking stuff - actually tries to complete bucket list - hard to please, has clear preferences and never settles

esfj

- considers eating the main event of every getaway - throws the best parties - ‘golden retriever’ strategy for making friends: “just jump them” - works hard when not distracted by coworkers - remembers everything everyone has ever said and is touchy about dates - patiently explains to everyone why what they’ve said was socially unacceptable… ok, maybe just to me? - likes the idea of charity but isn’t idealistic about it - knows you’re around by the sound of your footsteps, like a puppy

istj

- works hard to hide weeaboo side - finds work relaxing - would probably enjoy the challenge of being a castaway - the kind of parent that scares away boy/girlfriends - has THE nerdiest hobbies - attempts professional fashion - probably the most reliable person in everyone’s lives - likes being pushed to improve and to be supported more than comforted - always happy to info dump - love language is being given their favorite coffee blend

isfj

- claims to dislike ‘messy animals’ but lives for their pets - loves action movies with big battles - work-oriented but easily distracted by gossip, as is esfj - always the voice of reason - pretends to not be a hopeless romantic - cautious to the point of anxiety; would, however, survive the apocalypse - despises gaudy, likes natural tones and classical fashion - nice but easy to offend and disappoint - dog-lover that can easily be made a crazy cat person - can’t watch nature documentaries without feeling sorry for the planet/prey

entj

- almost always dressed for a job interview - can’t work in a messy room - obsessed with life hacks and goals - preoccupied with drawing the potential out of things and people - jokes without smiling. good at poker - can be surprisingly reckless and hot-headed - likes fancy stuff and doesn’t mind paying for it - other than 'studying’, hobbies are traveling and exercising. cannot relax - cynical when young, now likes the idea of spiritualism - selective about the people they spend time with

entp

- knows the solution to all problems but still has many problems - can’t help but worry that they talk too much and too quickly - literal pyromaniac. likes the color red as much as enfp - lights up every room they’re in… - takes nothing seriously, except video games. judges people who skip cutscenes and name their characters badly - soul leaves body during boring activities - criticizes action movies’ physics and combat - considerate but doesn’t hold back during arguments - attached to weirdly specific things and moody about them - irritatingly decent at everything - at risk of laughing during a funeral

intj

- pretends to not care but has secret vent blogs - blog/avatar/website is minimal and monochromatic OR sparkly and rainbow - seems shy from a distance but really isn’t - bitter about lots of things; chooses to cope alone in 'rational’ ways - religiously relies on to-do lists, which i find adorable - practices fiction writing by roleplaying and creating characters - hides nerdy side by acting professionally - uses fashion to make a statement - likes cute-creepy things - researches everything about a place before visiting - doesn’t mind friends who show up twice a year

intp

- has considered going to jail for alone time - routinely baffled by people - can’t play horror games, gets too much into it - unintentionally offends everyone - feared until seen as a dork, then is never again taken seriously - dreams of uploading the internet into brain and vice-versa - minimalist to maximize free time; wastes it by daydreaming - always late, starving, and sleep-deprived - can’t enjoy anything without also criticizing it - slow to understand dirty jokes - could spend whole life studying everything and achieving nothing - rebellious, always trying to 'hack the system’

enfj

- adores art in general; singing, writing, sewing, acting, painting… - makes getting along with everyone at work a priority - jokingly? uses terrifying memory to emotionally blackmail people - often stressed juggling many projects, lives on coffee - cheerleader sort. will fight you for wasting your potential - probably the most extrovert person everyone knows - more cunning than they present themselves - dresses to impress

enfp

- shows up with a meme after 6 months of radio silence - can’t stop talking yet insists they’re shy - has too many interests and projects. finishes anything by divine intervention - fascinated by fire and the color red, same for entp - acts like a dork but is sharp and opinionated - can’t do anything soulless, has to have ‘willpower’ and ‘inspiration’ - can’t see their natural talents - has serious regrets for someone still reckless - will name their children after videogame characters - Sinammon roll

infj

- piercing gaze is somehow also dreamy - trust issues. likes gathering intel before 'investing’ on someone and to have the upper hand - perfectionist whose work is never done - researches a lot before buying something expensive and then cherishes it - worries about seeming unapproachable - puts too much effort into planning their house decor - diplomatic as possible just before door-slamming people - never deletes anything from computer - surprisingly hard to please - loves shipping characters and people and analysing their compatibility

infp

- clumsy, may apologize to inanimate objects they bump into - loves photography/cosplaying/fashion but shy to expose themselves - idealized future is a coffee shop AU - serious fangirl/boy but dislikes shipping wars. has fanart folders - listens to surprisingly edgy music - surprisingly good with details, remembering dates, being on time, etc. but room is messy - people-pleaser but not a doormat; has a strong sense of justice - cherishes gifts forever - doesn’t like killing bugs but is fine with gory movies - kinda bonkers about cats

estp

- ambitious and restless, always looking for fun, opportunities, and shortcuts - has many friends and enemies - “hands off” kind of boss but overly critical when bothered - can’t end the day without pushing someone’s buttons - confidence is a two-edged sword - secretly soft for sweet people - too generous with their time and money - hates hypocrisy, but judges rule-breakers while being one themselves - blames the world when feeling stifled. sometimes disappears - reckless to the point that death/jail time would surprise no one

isfp

- wants fame but avoids attention like the plague - shares about 15% of their artsy side - great at being sneaky - collects pretty little trinkets - hopeless romantic. has stashes of love letters/novels/manga - loves animals but would rather die than touch a slug - loves fashion but is too shy to wear anything daring, slowly works on confidence and external identity - can be surprisingly cold - hates stress more than anyone - seen as a cinnamon roll even when being rude

esfp

- lives for the memes - gets away with everything. would probably get away with murder. - cannot hurt a fly (unless drunk and doing stupid shit; actually, sometimes bites) - never seen truly angry, ever - ideal habitat is hippie/surfing camp with a nearby nightclub - loves all animals, especially silly-looking ones - becomes driven when the situation requires and when stressed - always moving and meeting new people out of boredom - good at games and plays for fun

istp

INTP: Watching documentaries about murder.

Therapist: Do you do literally anything else? Do you go outside?

INTP: But why are you telling me this??

ISTP: We have a Plan B?