#interasks

1. you straight up cannot see my urethra in the old pics bc it’s buried by my huge hymen, and 2. after practicing stuff etc my hymen is not so thick and microperforate anymore now and my urethra is literally right above my vagina. like it’s not inside my vagina, but it’s basically right on the entrance ring. i was alerted to this being weird from some porn images i was looking at where there was like more than a centimeter between them and i was like w..??? what ??

and ive been reading about things like that for awhile cause inside my vagina is also like, weirdly curved back on itself and extremely tiny and shaped weird and appears to branch off into two paths, a girl fingering me once (with one finger bc nothing else fits) straight up could not fucking find my cervix even though she could find some other corners like. it’s weird. and now this w your posts like. oh my god ? ive been reading about vulvar hypospadias now from some journals and this makes a lot of sense, but my version is so minor ive never had the utis or anything like i see most people have but i dunno. i have had issues with my uterovaginal system for all my life (pmdd in addition to this) but im also transmasc and i don’t wanna jump on OH IM INTERSEX just because it feels validating or whatever. like idk it doesn’t make me feel any more or less trans or masc or anything, but i worry if it makes me feel (for lack of a better description) “less afab” like im co-opting something when ive generally had a perisex life. (then again, navigating attempts to get pap smears etc have been Bad and Painful, but that also happens to everybody.)

anyway, um. idk what my question is here, but feel free to answer publicly and say whatever. idk if i will ever pick up the label intersex just bc again of what ive said but i have been trying for so long to find information about why the fuck my vagina is the way it is and i think you helped me finally find something so thank you for that 💙

tysm for sharing/reaching out !! i don't think you're "not intersex enough" or "not trans enough." you're just you, my friend. it's okay to have a different body and recognize that if you want to, whether you use the term intersex to describe it or not.

not everyone with V-hypospadias identifies as intersex and that's okay, but you are most certainly welcome in too. and as far as agab goes; intersex people get assigned a binary gender very often, and it's common for us to feel disconnected from that gender. but it doesn't mean our experiences with assigned gender aren't valid; just different.

also, my urethra is right on top of the vaginal opening too (but still external). there's only a couple millimeters between things, and that's not mild - that's moderate V-hypospadias.

not everyone with moderate V-hypospadias has UTIs as well, from what medical journals read thus far. and people with mild V-hypospadias may have no issues at all. everyone's body adapts/works differently.

IDK if u know btw, but there is such thing as a biocornuate uterus and septate uterus, types of Müllerian variations:

which may be relevant to what you said about the two paths and uterovaginal issues. this can cause symptoms like"frequent miscarriages (usually more than three), painful menstruation, painful sex, and pelvic pain" - both of these conditions are found in intersex variations, as is hypospadias.

i'm still trying to take in the fact i have this, too. initially (several years ago) i was scared that my urethra was a scar from surgery. i'm still kinda afraid that the bump part is a scar, but i read something today that sounds similar to it and is caused by V-hypospadias. IDK though.

so, you're not alone. this is a confusing and difficult thing to navigate on your own, and it's frustrating that this is so under-researched. but if hypospadias is an intersex variation in people with urethral openings on a penis, it's an intersex variation in people with urethral openings on a vagina/vulva, too. as always, the intersex label/identity is optional, but intersex advocates will be fighting for people with hypospadias anyway.

i really hope for the best for you. you helped me understand that its okay to embrace my bodily differences and have educated me more on intersex issues than any other place. thank you for the change youve made in the world.

idk i just live here. i dont know enough about the history. and i dont quite like applying modern terms to roles & identities meant to be understood in the social framework of their time + culture.

Gonna add a big disclaimer that I'm not the coiner of the term mesosex, so I'm only answering this post as I understand the term.

I do see intersex (and sex as a whole) as a spectrum, but it seems like the point of mesosex is that it blurs the line between perisex and intersex. Perisex means near the binary, because no one really 100% fits it. Intersex is about being outside or between it.

So with how sex development and the binary work, there's no clear threshold for intersexuality. Even if someone has an intersex variation, they may fall outside the binary so "minorly" that they don't feel like they fit intersex or perisex experiences... and to that extent, Im not sure if mesosex was meant to cover trans perisex experiences or not, as i unsurely implied in another ask.

It is alienating... I do find things in common with other trans people but, there's still an air of separation... I don't talk about being intersex much because I'm nervous it's too personal to share - as if there's something inherently NSFW about my existence. And when I do talk about it, I feel alone, because I'm usually the only (openly/knowingly) intersex person in the room. I also really hate the amount of intersexism in online trans discourse.

yup, its a thing! i personally feel the same way, or similar. technically trans man, but i also feel like a transfem guy and relate a lot to cis men. i actually feel more comfortable with cis men than cis women, not just because i'm a guy, but because i'm intersex.

I'm not sure if I'm doing it justice here, but I am curious about what other people think??

yes that is very correct (at least as far as i'm aware)! and the idea of sex as a spectrum that all of us fall somewhere on is the crux of a lot of intersex activism. it shows that we're unfairly singled out and socially marked as wrong, mutated freaks of nature. when, in reality, we're just as natural as everyone else. we just have a different configuration that causes our sex traits to display themselves differently than others, or for our bodies to function differently.