hey! we're a 25 y/o polyfrag DID system of intersex demiboys, demigirls, and enben! we have alters of various orientations, but we're overall gay (for any gender), gray aroace, and polyaffectionate.
collectively, we are transneutral or transandrogynous, but both transmasculinity and transfemininity are important to us. we have tried going only in one direction or the other, and found both brought up dysphoria in different ways. we plan to transition neutrally.
apart from this, we love cats, alt music/fashion, anime, videogames, nature, creative writing, drawing, crochet, geneaology, pharmacology, and social justice. we love blabbing about these things :3
also, there are the hosts (they/he)!
jules : bigender | soft-spoken, kind | glimmer: cute things/animals
jordan : demiboy | spunky, direct | glimmer: alt music/fashion
matt : nonbinary | analytical, polite | glimmer: science/writing
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I reeeeaaalllyy don't like how widespread gender realism is in supposedly feminist circles on this website. You are one step away from becoming a radfem.
"Woman" is a socially constructed category and "women" have nothing intrinsic in common, other than viewing themselves as whatever "woman" is defined as in their society, or being judged by the standards of whatever "woman" is defined as in their society. Gender is as "real" of a category as race or neurotype, which is to say, it's not objectively real at all. It's an artificial category created on the basis of perceived shared traits among certain people. The people came first, they were grouped into their artificial category later. There are no intrinsic differences between men or women or nonbinary or multigender people.
Watching the queer way of interacting with gender go from "Gender is a social construct that can be fun to play with but at heart is a dangerous toy because it has been used for generations to oppress and divide people." To "Everyone has a perfect crystal of true gender which you must deeply introspect to discover, and you can be wrong about its nature." Has been a disaster.
As a trans person this view I feel is deeply harmful and wrong. I do believe gender is a real and not socially constructed concept. I feel no one “gave” me my gender and people telling me my gender is a construct is insulting to who I am and how hard I worked to discover myself. Not everyone has the same experience as I do but to say as an objective that gender is made up is extremely presumptuous and rude. In my personal spiritual beliefs I feel every person’s soul comes with its own relationship to gender that isn’t given by society. Do not try to tell me my religion and my relationship with myself are made up. That’s not your place. Believe your beliefs and let others believe theirs. It harms no one.
Gender is undeniably a social construct. Your spiritual beliefs are also a social construct. Both was created and shaped by society and people's understanding of it changes constantly. A medieval Catholic's religious beliefs and experience of church were completely different from a modern Catholic's.
Children aren't born having a full understanding of gender or religion — they have to be indoctrinated into it. It might be inherent to people to seek out some kind of gender expression or spiritual belief, but the way we do it is not innate. We aren't born knowing that skirts are for girls and big trucks are for boys.
Money is also a social construct. That doesn't mean it isn't real or that it doesn't matter. It's just that people made it up and assigned meaning to it. We have no choice but to participate in it, so money is still important and meaningful to pretty much everyone in society because it defines our experiences of existing as humans right now. Still a social construct though, and has very recently changed from being exclusively bills & metal coins in your wallet/under your mattress to numbers in an app. Children have to learn how to interact with money and most people are pretty bad at it and it cases a lot of problems. The same could be said for gender.
The example that got my (really quite Catholic) mother to understand social constructs as both important and made up was days of the week.
There is no law of nature that proves it is Wednesday. Days are real - the Earth rotates, the sun rises and sets, that’s physics. Deciding to build our entire westernised lives around 1/4 of the moon’s orbit is made up. There is no law of physics that links this moment in the lunar procession to ‘Wednesday’.
And yet it really is Wednesday. Mum, you need to go to work and later your choir who practice on Wednesdays will be pissed if you skip practice because ‘Wednesday is a social construct’.
It’s also completely valid to have a favourite day of the week - Sunday for my mum since she goes to church, doesn’t work and avoids domestic chores on Sunday. And all those feelings about Sundays are completely valid in the absence of any law of nature which proves ‘it’s Sunday’.
For anyone still confused, my favorite example of what a social construct is is this:
Everything is a social construct. Chairs are a social construct. There is no rule in nature saying only certain things can be sat on or used for seating. Nature has no idea what seating is. We made that shit up, even though the act of sitting is a real physical thing beings do - we made up what it was called, why it exists, and ultimately, the concept of chairs.
So gender being a social construct doesn't mean it isn't referencing a real experience. Something being a social construct just means humans create and perpetuate the concept of its existence. Without us, it wouldn't be a thing.
hey! we're a 25 y/o polyfrag DID system of intersex demiboys, demigirls, and enben! we have alters of various orientations, but we're overall gay (for any gender), gray aroace, and polyaffectionate.
collectively, we are transneutral or transandrogynous, but both transmasculinity and transfemininity are important to us. we have tried going only in one direction or the other, and found both brought up dysphoria in different ways.
apart from this, we love cats, alt music/fashion, anime, videogames, nature, creative writing, drawing, crochet, geneaology, pharmacology, and social justice. we love blabbing about these things :3
also, there are the hosts (they/he)!
jules : bigender | soft-spoken, kind | glimmer: cute things/animals
jordan : demiboy | spunky, direct | glimmer: alt music/fashion
matt : nonbinary | analytical, polite | glimmer: science/writing
transmascs not experiencing the overlap between misogyny and transphobia that transfems experience does not make them privileged over transfems, as they also experience an overlap of misogyny and transphobia that transfems do not experience
saying other group has set system privilege over the other is just untrue, and who is more privileged will depend on the circumstances
systemically theres no real oppression under the patriarchy that trans men face trans women do not. you face regular misogyny, you face transphobia, and those don't intersect because transphobia in and of itself is misogyny
trans-misogyny is much more than Just An Intersection and the treatment of transfeminized people by society is inherently different. inherently worse. not just socially or interpersonally but systemically. this has been theorized on for decades. disagree? would love to hear any genuine analysis you have that's not "nooo i'm not privileged!"
“there is no real oppression trans men face that trans women do not.”
we need gynecological care. we experience higher rates of medical discrimination that effect access to gynecological care. our ability to get abortions is effected by this, as is it effected by abortion being made illegal. some medical providers deny birth control to trans people on testosterone hrt. forced pregnancy is commonly used to detransition us.
neither trans nor cis women face this in the way that we do.
“there is no real oppression trans men face that trans women do not.”
period stigma. the financial burden of menstrual products. female class genital mutilation. female class infanticide. stunted development encouragement as children due to sexist bias. in some countries we cannot leave without the permission of a cis man due to being classed as female.
“the treatment of transfeminized people by society is inherently different. inherently worse. not just socially or interpersonally but systemically.”
socially: trans men have higher rates of sexual violence, one in two trans men have been sexually assaulted. we also have higher rates of domestic violence, and intimate partner violence. we have higher suicide attempt rates. as well as being more likely to be in severe psychological distress and depressed. while less likely to be generally happy and thriving. we are more likely to be harassed or discriminated against in restaurants, hotels, retail stores, and bathrooms. and have higher avoidance rates of public bathrooms.
systemically: we are less represented in political office. we are more likely to have negative experiences with law enforcement. we overall are found to make less money. we are more likely to be harassed when we present incongruent identity documents. testosterone is a controlled schedule III substance that can result in criminal charges without a prescription. it is more common for us to be denied insurance coverage of hrt. due to our higher rates of medical discrimination we are also much more likely to avoid receiving necessary medical treatment due to fear of harassment and discrimination. we have higher rates of being in poor health. and avoiding healthcare due to cost. and are also more likely to be harassed or discriminated against by government agencies. as well as have negative experiences with airport security.
we also have comparable violent victimization rates with trans women. and trans boys are just as likely to be homeless.
trans men absolutely are in sex work, the majority just present as women for work because it's much harder to make money if you don't. You don't see them because they're forced to detransition for work or you haven't even tried to look for the ones who are presenting masc. They're all over the sex work forums if you know what to look for and how they talk about it.
there is no "trans men aren't pushed into sex work" privilege. It is not a privilege to be forced into it AND have to detransition for it. This isn't a competition
I think a lot of "trans men aren't affected by this" stuff boils down to the trans men in question that ARE affected being deminished to not being men at all or being forced to detransition/pretend to be women
A lot of talk about boymoding and how hard it is but trans men do the exact same thing the other way around and a lot of times specifically because they are forced into sex work
The trans community in general would be way healthier if we realized we literally go through the same exact stuff
I highly recommend, infact greatly urge, that everyone read "Working Guys: A Transmasculine Sex Worker Anthology" edited by Jack Parker.
Working Guys is a collection of essays, personal narratives and interviews about the lives of transmasculine sex workers, in our own words.
It has writing by everyone from girlmoding full-service ecorts to medically transitioned porn stars.
It's one of the only published works on the topic (in fact, I think it might be currently he the sole published work on the topic in English).
As a trans man who has done sex work in vairey of context both while girlmoding and after socially and medically transitioning, I found it to be an excellent collection of raw and honest writing by people whose stories are so often erased.
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There's a post going around from 2014 about how transmisandry doesn't exist and people are now distraught that it's been 11 years and we're still having the same discourse
Except they're upset that we're still trying to prove transmascs and those perceived to be transmascs experience unique forms of oppression rather than being upset that it's been 11 years of people not listening to transmascs about their own experiences.
Someone even said that us switching to transandrophobia was to hide what transmisandry was actually about, rather than at least in part trying to find a term that will satisfy these transphobic assholes
If anything happens to my nephew, please remember that I begged you to donate, even a small amount, or to share my post. I will not forgive anyone who sees this post and doesn't support me with a single word or a small donation, and ignores me.
My nephew urgently needs surgery, and we still need €550 to cover the costs. It's become much more difficult since my main account was suspended, and I can no longer reach as many people as before. Therefore, I ask everyone who sees this post to help us by sharing or donating if they are able.
The operation was supposed to take place two days ago, and we had prepared everything. We were hoping that someone would help me gather the necessary funds, but unfortunately, we couldn't proceed. I desperately hope that every kind-hearted person here, with any humanity towards us, will save my nephew, who lost his father in this genocide and has no one to care for him but me. Please, save him and don't ignore me. 💔😭
If you can donate, you're not just giving money... you're giving my nephew another chance at life, a chance to fight, a chance to live. Your donation will help us secure his surgery and alleviate his excruciating pain.Please... don't leave him to face this pain alone.Be a source of comfort for him, a helping hand during his darkest and most difficult days. Poor child.
Someone has donated €20, but we still need 530€ to afford the surgery for my nephew. I swear we need your help; my nephew is suffering terribly right now. Please, every moment of delay could cost him his life. This is a life-or-deathsurgery-please don't let him die. You are our only hope. Please, please donate 💔😭
antitransmasculinity, transandrophobia, whatever you wanna call it, is real. masculinity doesn't protect queer people against oppression. if you think that's a contradictory statement, i am begging you to understand that masculinity exists outside of patriarchy.
also homophobia against gay men exists, yeah? butches face a unique form of discrimination, yeah? being assigned male at birth doesn't mean anything inherent about a person's gender or whether they do or don't experience gender-based oppression, right?
so why the fuck would one group of trans people not face a unique form of oppression. every. other. community. has. a. fucking. term. this is literally just biphobia/aphobia/anti-polyamory/butchphobia/etc isn't real all over again. what the fuck is wrong with yall
I am Widad, writing to you today with a heavy heart for my mother, Suhaila, who is currently undergoing urgent surgeries in the hospital.
Her health condition is very serious, and we are going through critical and difficult moments, waiting for any news that can bring us comfort and hope.
Every passing moment feels heavy as we wait and pray for her safety and recovery
Please… act now. Silence is taking her away from me. Every moment without help brings us closer to losing her. I beg you from my heart, don’t scroll past—help us before it’s too late
Every second matters. Any small donation can help save her life. Please don’t ignore us. Share this message, donate if you can. Your kindness could give my daughter a chance to live and see tomorrow.
We have nothing left.
Our home was destroyed.
We sleep under the open sky, exposed to cold, fear, and hunger.
No walls. No roof. No tent.
My father was injured in the war and cannot work.
My mother is very sick — her iron is dangerously low, and we cannot afford her medicine.
Her illness is confirmed by a hospital report, which you can see
Every night, I watch her struggle and pray she survives.
I have four sisters and my little brother Shukri.
Look at this video 😢… My siblings and I are searching through the rubble of our destroyed home for any clothes we can wear. Everything is torn, everything is broken… we are just trying to find something to cover ourselves in these hard days."
He is scared, weak, and I am the only one trying to protect him.
And my little sister Mira, only two years old, cries for milk… and I have nothing to give her.
My little sister Mira is suffering from severe malnutrition and is currently in the hospital. She is weak and unable to rest properly, and we are deeply worried about her."
I was forced to leave school. My dreams are gone.
All I can do is fight every day to keep my family alive.
We are just children… carrying a life no child should ever bear.
Please… help us survive.
Even a small donation can give: • Medicine for my mother
• Milk for Mira
• Care and support for Shukri
• A simple shelter to protect all of us
."Medicines for my mom."
If you cannot donate, please share our story.
Help us. Save us. We are slowly dying. 😭💔🙏
The army has ordered the evacuation of the areas around us. People are running in fear, carrying their children and whatever little they have left. I recorded a video so the world can see the suffering we are going through and the fear surrounding us every second.
Please, I beg you, help us before it is too late. Help us before we are bombed and disappear like so many others. Any support, donation, or share could save the lives of my children.
Please do not ignore our cries for help.
Donation link
Hello, my name is Mickey from Michigan USA and I am raising funds for Wedad… Mickey Dee needs your support for Support Wedad's Journey to Sa
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I've been talking to Andrew and my friend about cultural appropriation with religion and saying hot takes that would make other people online mad. But I actually don't think just being a part of an ethnic group means you're allowed to just convert to a folk religion you were never raised in and you just Google everything. There's a bunch of people who get bored and decide they should "embrace their culture" with Google instead of talking to people or reading books.
It would probably make people mad that I think my white friend was more valid for practicing vodou than people who just Google about it. The only reason she got into vodou is because a bunch of elderly Haitians would not stop trying to convert her because they thought she was made for it. Was she supposed to tell them to fuck off and that's racist?
Lmao, I don't think people online have a real religious community they're apart of because sometimes people in an ethnoreligion will try to convert white people actually. What would they do with the knowledge that the Buddhist center I went to had every kind of race in it? The place doesn't exist because some white people decided to build it to be Buddhist, Japanese people came here to convert Americans. I don't think any of the white people I know that are Buddhists just decided to Google Buddhism and become Buddhist, all of them got converted by someone.
My real hot take is if you were raised a religion you don't like shouldn't worry about your ethnic background and look for something real in your area to follow with other people.
Lindsey Graham getting confirmed as a sissy by the pre-transition sex worker he hired a decade ago isn’t something I planned to learn this fast but damn.
sometimes i talk about how awful it was to feel trapped by my daily makeup routine and how i couldn’t leave the house without putting on a full face and it played a major role in the misery of my high school experience because i had to spend so much extra time getting ready in the mornings and that followed me into my early 20s as well and it was hell and it was so incredibly liberating to go through the slow and uncomfortable but ultimately essential process of getting my bare face back and having makeup be an optional accessory instead of a mandatory uniform. and the response always tends to be ah yes of course, because of your trans and your masculine. and it’s like aha so close! actually! I think if I ended up being a feminine cis woman I also still would not deserve even a second of that shit! I think trans women and nonbinary people and every human alive should have the option to leave the house without a single cosmetic product ever touching their face! but thanks for playing!
One legitimately weird thing about Tumblr is that we literally can’t code for shit, many people quit working at Tumblr due to a hostile work environment, and we can’t seem to program a simple blogging website to not flood your RAM.
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um so quick question you do know that the world isn’t divided into People Blindly Accepting Of Gender Roles and Smart Trans Ppl. the world isn’t divided into People In Romantic Relationships and Single Aros. the world isn’t divided into People Who Socialize Easily and Oppressed Autistics. the world isn’t divided into Enlightened Queer People and Stupid Misogynists. like you are aware of this ? i hope you are aware of this
