#instagramlife

“I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom”

// Jacket // Top // Jeans // Boots

(Profile Picture - Updated): Fakey-bakey smile plastered on, teeth whiter than Arctic snow, eyes sparkling like diamonds (probably contacts), hair sculpted like it was photoshopped on, clothes are knock-offs from the flea market, background is the Eiffel Tower (obviously fake), angled just right so you can't see the double chin, lighting like they hired the sun as a personal photographer, skin smoother than a baby elephant's butt, wrinkle-free, blemish-free, mole-free, totally and utterly fake.

(24/7 Stories - Non-stop Broadcasting): Breakfast on a rented villa balcony, latte art with a heart-shaped foam, avocado toast that's clearly leftover from yesterday, fried egg with a yolk that busted, tropical fruits arranged just for the picture, gym time (empty, just for the story), weightlifting with plastic dumbbells, fake sweat sprayed on, victory smile (more like a cry for help), brand-name workout clothes (fake, of course), fancy car (hourly rental), light traffic (in their dreams), happy music (that's actually grating), inspirational quotes (plagiarized from Paulo Coelho), sunset pic (orange filter #7), peaceful beach (Kish Island – the most crowded place ever), dinner at a fancy restaurant (ordered pizza), expensive food (tastes like dirt), colorful drink (industrial juice with artificial flavors), loud laughter (sound cut off in the story), beautiful friends (all filtered to oblivion), no sadness (total lie), no problems (ha ha), no loneliness (just for the story).

(Comments - All Phony Baloney): "OMG gorgeous!" "Amazing!" "So jealous!" "Your success is blinding the haters!" "Liked a million times!" "Purple heart!" "Clapping emoji that makes no sound!" "Follow request from spam ad accounts!" "Direct message ads promising overnight riches!"

(Reality Behind the Curtain - Leaked): Ear-splitting alarm clock, face puffy and swollen, coffee bitterer than poison, dry bread drier than the Sahara, hellish traffic, stress about to explode, crowded gym (full of sweaty people), light weights (can barely lift them), real sweat with the aroma of onions, forced smile (obviously faking it), old, worn-out clothes, beat-up bus with broken seats, depressing music (making things worse), hopeless quotes (from cheesy self-help books), cloudy sky (always cloudy), dark room (always dark), lonely dinner (fried egg on cheap flatbread), cheap food (past its expiration date), simple drink (tap water), heavy silence (deafening), imaginary friends (all fake), full of sadness (to the brim), full of problems (forever), full of loneliness (until the end of time).