#insecure steve

You were in front of the compound, being too lazy to actually get up and leave the comfort of what you now called home. Although you weren’t part of the team and were actually a nurse, Steve insisted that you were most protected there, that even if he wasn’t around, there were still other people who could take care of you, and there was also FRIDAY. You tried to tell him that everyone knew where the compound was, even the bad guys and that you were much safer in your old apartment, but Steve wouldn’t have it. He was probably the most stubborn man you’ve ever met.

You were laying by the pool, a big part of the team surrounding you, enjoying the free day they had. Earth didn’t need its saviours for a while, and they all couldn’t get enough of the summer in the city. You were in your bikini, absorbing as much of vitamin D as you could, trying to store in for autumn and winter, where you knew you’d need it. You just hoped it would work. Bucky was sitting behind you, chatting with you, both of you completely relaxed. You laughed at one of his jokes, throwing your head back. The guy was cheesy as hell, but his heart was golden, and you were glad Steve had him back in his life.

After a while, you looked up, your hand shading the sun from burning your eyes out of your head, looking for Steve. You could see him standing by the nearest wall, shadow on his face, both literal and metaphorical. You frowned a little and called his name to get his attention. You only got a wave of a hand as an answer, and you thought it was even odder. You knew he was excited to see you on your new bikini, white with golden circles all over it and with little gold beads on the straps. But he seemed to not care about your attire at all.

You excused yourself to Bucky, who just cocked his eyebrow, looking at his best friend. “Go easy on him, Y/N. I think he’s jealous that you’ve been talking to me the whole time.”

You chuckled and rolled your eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, James.” He just made a gesture like you-wait-and-see, and let you go discover what was bugging Steve.

The closer you were getting, the more you noticed how rigid his whole body was. He was standing there like a sculpture, moving and perfect, with a very serious face. He was beautiful, just in his blue swim trunks reaching only his mid-thigh. But you couldn’t enjoy the sight too much, because he’s pissed off, and maybe sad face wasn’t fitting the image.

“What is it, baby?” You asked meekly when you reached him and tried to touch him but almost jumped away from your touch, the wrinkle on your forehead only deepening.

“Nothing, go back to having fun.” He mumbled, now pouting like a little child. Was it possible that he was jealous, just like Bucky said?

“But I’m not having that much fun when you’re not around.” You stepped closer to him, but this time keeping your hands to yourself, although it took all your willpower to do so.

“Yeah, you and Buck looked like you were having a terrible time, laughing like crazy there.”

You sighed, and even though he wanted to protest, you flung your arms around his neck and made him look at you that way. “Are you really jealous of your best friend, Steve?”

He closed his eyes, and you could see there was a fight behind his eyelids. One side won, the better one for you, and he let his hands grip your hips.

“It’s just that… I don’t know. Bucky has always been the one getting all the girls, and if there were two of them, they still wanted him and never me. And I’m just worried that you’ll see that he is the better man and leave me.” He whispered the last part of the sentence because tears were forming in his eyes. Your poor shy boy from Brooklyn.

“Baby, look at me, please,” you pleaded gently, and Steve obediently opened his eyes. “I love you with all my heart. Yeah, I was laughing with Bucky, but that’s about it. I laugh with you, I cry with you, I fall asleep with you, and so much more. And I’d do all that if you were the skinny boy again, because sure, the body of yours has its advantages, especially in particular area, but other than that? I care about what inside, and you’re the best guy.

I don’t care about your looks if we’re thirty, or two hundred. I’ll love you no matter what Steve. When we’re both old and wrinkly, I’ll love just as much as I love you right now, and maybe a little more, because you’ll have put up with me for ages by then.”

Steve was looking at you intently, drinking in everything you said. He couldn’t believe his own luck to have someone like you beside him. He knew it was stupid of him to be jealous, but sometimes, he just couldn’t help himself. Just like he couldn’t help himself now, finally seeing through his sadness and fear of losing you, and seeing what you were wearing.

“What areas are we talking about?” He said with a raised eyebrow and a smirk playing on his lips.

You had to laugh at that. “That’s the only thing you heard, you perv?” He wiggled his brows, and you just shook your head. He was in a better mood, and that was the goal. He leaned down to be on your level, his hands flying to your head and he kissed you with so much passion that you thought you’d faint right there. From the shy boy standing in front of you just second ago, he transformed into this dominant man, ready to devour you and show you who you belonged to. And you loved both versions equally, even if each of them with a different bodily part.

You let him take what was rightfully his, putting no obstacles in his way. You opened your mouth willingly, letting him explore it with his tongue. When he felt you were running out of your breath, he moved to give your neck the same attention he gave to your mouth. You were standing impossible close to each other, and you could feel his member pushing against your leg, getting some sort of friction.

Warning: smut ahead

You moaned softly, which only spurred Steve forward. He loved hearing the little noises coming out of your mouth, and he wanted to hear more. You, on the other hand, was very much aware of the environment in which you still were, his team-mates all around you, and because a lot of them were super-humans, you were pretty sure they could hear your every ragged breath.

Steve didn’t understand why you were pushing against his shoulder and wanted to continue with the activity at hand, but you pushed a little harder this time, calling his name as well.

“What? I’m having fun, sweetheart!” He said with a small pout which you couldn’t help but tried and kissed it away.

“So am I, Steve, but your buddies are all over the place and not for nothing, but I don’t need all of them seeing my bare ass, or worse.” Steve seemed to have thought about it for a second before he picked you up as if you weighted nothing, threw you over his shoulder and marched towards the door leading inside.

When he felt like you were far enough from the prying eyes, he let you stand up on your own. You looked around, seeing you were still in a very much public place, in a hallway. It was not the main hallway people would use when leaving the pool, but still.

“Can’t we go to our room?” You squeaked, but Steve wasn’t listening anymore. He was pushing the top of your bikini away, revealing your boobs. He growled at the sight of them, your nipples standing erect from the kissing session you and Steve had mere seconds ago. He didn’t waste any time, and sucked on one of them, while his fingers played and tugged on the other one. You involuntarily arched up against his touch, wanted more, even if you wanted it in the confines of your own private room.

Steve could feel the change in your body, the will to fight him about the place leaving your body, being replaced by sheer lust. That was the exact moment Steve waited on. He released your nipple with a pop and looked at you through his lust-hooded eyes. He smirked at you, and you knew what was coming, and suddenly you couldn’t give to fucks about someone finding you two. You just needed him, and he seemed to be as eager as you were.

He released his painfully hard cock from his shorts, rubbing it against your leg, as he kissed you again, conveying all of his emotions in this kiss. You could feel the love he was pouring into it, and you were drunk on it. He pulled only to put his forehead against yours. “I love you so much, Y/N. And I always will, I promise. Even if we’re now young and in love and it might seem like a plain promise, but I mean what I say. And anyhow, I’m basically an ancient guy now, so…” he trailed off, and you smiled up at him.

You gently grabbed his cock, rubbing your hand up and down his length, and from the hisses and silent curses falling from Steve’s lips, you assumed he enjoyed what you were doing. But you still wanted more. You pushed your panties away, not wanting to waste time pulling them down, and put your legs a little wider apart, for Steve to have enough room to operate.

Steve obviously got the message, as he grabbed your right leg and locked his arm under your knee, opening you even more. Then it was just easy for him to slide home. You were so wet, not only from the physical touch but also from all the confessions, that he didn’t need to prepare you at all.

He slid in with one thrust, revelling at the feeling of your walls clenching around him. No matter how many times you two slept together, he would always be little too large for you, and you’d still need a little time to adjust to his magnificent size. Steve waited patiently, until your hips bucked against his, giving him a sign that you were ready for all he had to give to you.

Steve didn’t hesitate and started thrusting into you mercilessly, both from his own horniness and from the possibility someone could walk in on the two of you.

He knew exactly how to make you undone in minutes. All he had to do was thrust deep enough to hit your sweet spot, and massage your little bundle of nerves, and you’d be gone in no time. For him, it was just the feeling of your velvety walls when you came that always did it for him. He always had to make sure you came before him, so he could marvel at the sight of you, in the highest state of pleasure possible.

And it really took him not even 10 minutes, before you were silently whispering his name, chanting it like a prayer, your face contorting in ecstasy. That was all it took for him to feel the wave of pleasure rolling over him so hard his toes curled and he gave a few sloppy thrusts before he was coming deep inside your pussy. He was breathing hard into your neck, both of you sweaty and sticky from the activity and the humidity in the hallway.

Warning ending

You could hear voices coming from the other hallway, and you snuggled a little closer to Steve as if to shield yourself from any visitors.

“You two done? We thought we’d play water polo, but we’re missing two players.” Bucky hollered at you, and your cheeks were suddenly burning, and you knew they were bright red.

Steve just laughed and kissed the top of your head. “Yeah, give us a sec, and we’re with you.”

“Sure, just be so kind and have a shower first.” You could hear the smirk on Bucky’s face, and you rolled your eyes.

“Asshole,” you muttered, earning a chuckle from Steve and a loud Ouch from Bucky. Damn them and their enhanced hearing.

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“ Steven.” Thor was surprised to see him. “Welcome home. How was the---”

“I just got back from getting my ass handed to me by Director Fury.” Steve interrupted. “Tell me no, and I'll leave but I really need you right now” 

Thor had pulled him inside and shut the door, pushing Steve up against it.Then the big man had dropped to his knees and yanked Steve's running shorts down to his ankles, taking as much of Steve's cock as he could, slurping and licking until Steve had hardened in his mouth, then backed off, looped Steve's fingers into his long blonde hair and sat back on his heels, nodding in permission.

God Steve had fucked into Thor's mouth as hard as he could, pushing every bit of frustration into every thrust, pulling at that long hair until Thor's eyes watered, but the Demi god had just shoved a hand down his own pants and stroked himself hard and fast.

And when Steve banged his head against the door and came pouring thick and hot down Thor's throat, Thor had come all over his own fist, his groans muffled around Steve's cock, unwilling to move until Steve was ready to push him away.

Then Steve had just left , pulling up his shorts and basically fleeing the room.

And now he was embarrassed.

Mortified actually. Mortified that he had even thought to use his friend and teammate like that. Horrified that Thor had let him. Beyond upset with himself for leaving right after he had come.

Steve wasn't sure what they were doing together, but regardless, Thor didn't deserve to be treated like that .

“Oh.” Steve jumped when Thor entered the kitchen. “Thor. Hey, I'm glad to see you. Look. Um, I'm sorry about earlier. It wasn't right of me to assume that you were fine with that? And then I just left and--”

Thor crossed the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Steve's waist, careful not to spill his coffee, and lay a long kiss on his lips.

“Even in Asgard, with our different customs, it is rude to leave a… romantic interlude without at least kissing your partner good bye.” He scolded teasingly. “Shame on you, Steven.”

Steve flushed dark red. “I'm so so so sorry. I shouldn't have come to you anyway, hoping for--for that .”

“Why not?” Thor wanted to know, pressing their foreheads together. “Why shouldn't you be able to come to me and vent your frustrations?”

“Just feels like I was using you.” He said softly and Thor shrugged those massive shoulders.

“I would hope that you know by now you can come to me with anything. I would hope that these last few times together have brought us a level of comfort with one another.”

“They have!” Steve blurted. “I mean, I do feel comfortable with you, that's why I feel bad about--”

“Don't feel badly.” Thor tugged him closer into a hug and Steve rested his forehead on his chest. “I am happy you felt like you could come to me. Would you like to talk about it? Whatever it is that is bothering you?”

“Oh.” Steve said in surprise. “Yeah, I would. Um, thank you.”

“Well, why don't we go to your room. You can shower, and we can talk about whatever is on your mind.”

“Thank you.” Steve said again lifted his lips for another kiss.

“Mmm.” Thor rumbled. “I didn't enjoy coffee until I tasted it on your lips.”

As soon as Steve finished his coffee, they headed up towards his room, and he definitely blushed when Thor took his hand, lacing their fingers together as if they did it all the time.

***************

Thor stretched out on the bed as Steve showered, then moved over enough so they could lay side by side and talk.

Steve told him about the mission the day before, how he and Sam had been made before they had even had a chance to do any surveillance. About the awful feeling of the plane dropping out of the sky, and how he had just jumped and hoped he didn't break anything when he landed.

He told Thor about the civilian lives that had been lost, innocent villagers taken out as the guerrilla fighters had retreated through a small town.

How Director Fury had a way of talking down to him that made Steve feel like just decking the man, and then maybe running away because Fury always seemed about a half a step away from psychotic.

Quieter now, he talked about how disappointed Coulson always looked, as if Steve just wasn't the man the comics and trading cards had said he was.

“They made comics of me, you know? Stories and adventures and TV shows, apparently. And some days I feel like I must disappoint everyone, because I am not the man the books say I am.”

He picked at the comforter uneasily. “Lately all I want to do is not be Captain America and just be Steve. You know before the serum, I got beat up all the time but at least no one was disappointed in me.”

“Now it seems like I'm failing all the time, even if I excel at something a regular guy wouldn't be able to do, I'm failing at it because it's not as good as what they expect from a man like me.”

Thor just listened, and when Steve sighed from deep in his body, relieved to have it all off his chest and out of his head, Thor rolled over him, pressing him into the pillows and kissing him slowly, their lips meeting and parting in gentle touches.

“I cannot say I understand everything you are going through.” Thor said thoughtfully. “But I understand enough to see that you are hurting.”

“If it is any consolation,” Thor brushed his knuckles over Steve's cheek bones. “you are simply Steven to me. Strength and skills and history aside, you are simply the man I want in my arms. And that is something you can neither fail at, nor disappoint me in.”

Steve didn't know what to say to that , and didn't want to let Thor know how close he was to tears so he leaned up and kissed the beautiful man.

“Shall we have another, then?” Thor said quietly, teasingly, and Steve glanced away a little shyly.

“Another.” He pushed his hips up, spreading his legs and Thor chuckled.

“Excellent.”

Steve hadn't bothered to put a shirt on after his shower, clad only in pajama pants, and Thor made quick work of them, tossing them off the bed with an impatient huff and Steve dropped his head into the pillows and groaned as they moved together.

It was slow this time, slow and sweet and when Thor lay between his legs, when he eased first one then two fingers inside Steve's tight entrance, all the soldier could do was close his eyes and hold him close.

When Thor breached him, pulling a shout from both their lips because god it was so good, every thrust in and out, and every inch of long and thick filling him was so good that Steve just reached up and dragged Thor down for a long kiss.

And when they were close, when Steve was pleading to be able to come and Thor was stroking him, coaxing him through every pulse and wave of pleasure, when Steve was spilling all over himself and Thor was groaning as he lost himself deep inside…

All Steve could do was blink away tears, because somewhere between the first time and this time, he had started falling in love, and he had no idea what to do about it.

*****************

Bucky was trying hard not to stare at Steve and Thor as they sat side by side during the movie.

They weren't even doing anything out of the ordinary, just sharing the same couch they usually did, Steve nodding off because he found a lot of movies difficult to follow, full of references he didn't get and Thor was watching eagerly, just enjoying the story line, letting the obscure references go over his head.

“What are you staring at babe?” Tony wanted to know, and Bucky cuddled him closer.

“Nothing sugar. Just thinking.” He hadn't told Tony about his and Steve's talk, still needing to come to terms with it all by himself, and he felt a little bad keeping it from his boyfriend.

“You're worried about Steve.” Tony said matter of factly. “Because he's lonely.”

“Um yeah.” Bucky glanced down at him in surprise and Tony smirked.

“So much more than just a pretty face, soldier boy. I might not say anything, but I notice everything.”

“You mean you say everything, Tony.” Bucky kissed him. “But I love you for it.”

“You said that earlier.” Tony whispered. “It was the first time you said it and you didn't even let me say it back.”

“What?” Bucky stared down at him. “What? I told you I loved you for the first time today? Tony that's crazy, I've loved you for months . You know that, right?”

Tony flushed prettily and Bucky groaned. “We are going to bed right now. Can't believe I didn't realize we weren't saying I love you yet. Then I just out and said it and it wasn't even romantic.”

He was muttering under his breath as he stood, cradling Tony in his arms. “Hey, we are leaving.” He announced and Tony laughed as they marched away.

“Those two are gross.” Clint complained, and Natasha frowned up at him from her cozy position on his lap.

“How come you never carry me off like that anymore, Clint?”

“Jesus Christ. For a super spy, you are awfully high maintenance.” Clint stood and tossed a giggling Tasha over his shoulder, smacking her firmly on the ass. “Good night guys.”

Just Thor and Steve were left now, and as soon as the door swung shut behind Clint, Thor was stretching out, tugging Steve down on his chest.

“Didn't think you'd be such a cuddler.” Steve mumbled and Thor laughed quietly.

“My dear mother used to say she raising a teddy bear and a cactus, and she didn't understand how two sons from the same family could be so different.”

“Loki is the cactus?”

“Even his helmet has spikes.” Thor complained good-naturedly.

“So that leaves you as the teddy bear?” Steve teased. “That would certainly explain all the hair and the extensive cuddling.”

Thor started to ease away from him. “We don't have to--”

Steve leaned on Thor hard, pinning him to the couch. “The cuddling is fine .”

Thor grinned, settling Steve against his chest, running a big hand up and down his back in soothing strokes. “This is nice, Steven. Spending time with you like this.”

“You don't have to call me ‘Steven’.” He muttered, his words muffled as he tried to curl closer without actually seeming like he was trying to get closer. “Sounds too formal for what we are-- for what we are doing.”

Thor moved until he was lying all the way down on the couch, and shifted Steve until they were lined up from chest to toes, Steve's head tucked in the crook of his neck.

“This is nice, sweetheart.” Thor amended. “Spending time with you like this.”

Steve was glad the lights were off because he knew his face flamed red.

Upon reaching there he was shocked to say the least. Opposite Bucky and his girlfriend were sitting a girl. She was absolute gorgeous. The seat faced him allowing him to get a good look at you. Brown hair with a tint here and there of blonde giving your hair a natural shine. As he came close to table, he couldn't help but notice the deep brown colour of your eyes and the long lashes. You had a wheatish skin tone with a good tan. You had pink plump lips. He just couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like to hold you in his arms. But he quickly checked himself, there was no way you would want to be with someone like him. Skinny and pale. Even though his breathing problems had dissipated, he was in no way near to as good-looking as the other boys in the college which he knew swooned over you. How you may ask? Well, he recognised you as the most popular girl in the college Y/n. Clearing his throat as if to announce his presence, he sat down on the only empty seat around the four-seater table. The one next to you.

"Hey steve! I was starting to think you ditched us. Well, that you are here now, let me introduce you to each other. Girls, this is steve, Steve, this is Natasha, my girl, and that is y/n. Though I think you must already recognise her." He shook hands with both of them as bucky introduced them. He almost thought his breathing problems came back the moment he saw you smile at him. God, she is beautiful, he thought.

The food was ordered soon after as they all indulged in small talk. It came as a surprise to steve that you actually talked to him without disgust or without interest. Once the food came, the 'couple' took to talking, or more like whispering amongst themselves, smiling every now and then. As steve watched the two with a slightly scrunched face, he felt a nudge to his side. "Those two are disgustingly cute together, aren't they?", you asked. "Totally" "Hey! Do you want to hang out later? After we are finished here maybe? Only if you are free though, wouldn't want holding you back if you are busy now do I?". He couldn't believe his ears. Were you really wanting to hang out with him? "Are You sure you want to hang out with me? I am not complaining but I mean, wouldn't you want to hang out with someone better? I can get pretty boring sometimes. "

You chuckled and he could swear that was the most beautiful thing he has ever heard. "Pardon my language but the other guys of our college, if they are the ones you are referring to, are literal bitches. They think too highly of themselves and if I were to go out with them, I am pretty sure half their time would be spent in trying to get into my pants. And, in your case, I have talked with you long enough to know that you won't do either of those things. And not to mention, you are really, like really really cute. So, yeah, I want to hang with ya. Do you want to?" "Yeah. Sure" After paying for the dinner, the bill of which you split amongst yourselves into 3, one yours, one Steve's, and one of the 'couple's', Bucky and your friend left to God knows where while you went to the nearby park with Steve.

"So, Steve", you began, "Did you enjoy the so called 'double date'? Cause I sure as hell did." "you did?" "yup" "well, I enjoyed it too". A comfortable silence fell between you to but did not last long. "So....", Steve began this time, but you cut him off. "Anna do it again sometime?" "Double date?" he teased, knowing full well that was not what you meant. "No stupid! I mean... like a proper date. Just two of us. No disgusting cuteness" "Even though I think I am the one supposed to ask you out, I am going to say yes."

Conversation from there flowed freely, talking about anything and everything that is, until it was time to return. Steve was insistent on accompanying you home even after you reassured him that it will be fine. The walk home was quiet and comfortable. Both of you enjoying the other one's presence.

Now, as you stood outside your house gate, there was a hesitation in both of you. After a few mins you said, "Oh, fuck it!" and crashed your mouth on his, your hand going behind his face to hold it in place. At first, he froze, but then reciprocated it the best he could. His kiss was sloppy but that did not make it any less affectionate. After a few mins you both pulled back, just the slightest bit out of breath.

"That was unexpected. But I liked it. ", He said. You chuckled and said, "Before I forget, here is my number. We can discuss our next date over phone?" Smiling, he answered, "Sure."