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Pippin: Quick! You have to pretend to be my dad to Merry’s dad. *Hands Boromir the phone*
Boromir: Hello, this... is Pippin’s dad.
Yes the children are playing swords.
Sorry, playing with swords.
They’re bleeding
Oh no
They are dead.
Don’t call again. *hangs up*
Sorry I panicked.
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The Witch King : Fool ! No man can kill me !
Eowyn : *is actually a drag queen* I am no man !
Gandalf, talking to Frodo: and they were roommates
Sam, in the rosebushes: ohmygodtheywereroommates
Aragorn: We've reached Lothlorien.
Frodo: It's more beautiful than anything I could ever have imagined and I suppose I ever will. . .
Legolas: Aesthetic owo
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Gandalf: All right, listen up you little shits!
Gandalf: Not you, Frodo. You're an angel and we're thrilled you're here.
Guard: Sir, Minas Tirith is under attack. Your men are dying. We must do something!
Denethor:
Guard: Sir?? Will you not speak?
Denethor:
Denethor:
Faramir: *walks in*
Denethor: god fucking damn it why is it always me i can't believe this holy shit i always get the worst of the fucking worst the world is endin-
incorrect lotr quotes: (31/?)
[insp.]
