#denethor

However, the awareness that something is wrong does not mean that everyone interprets the troubled marriage the same way. Many lay the blame at Finduilas’ feet. Denethor does his job as a Steward well most of the time—and who can blame him for yelling at Duinhir those times, it’s Duinhir after all—but Finduilas’ negligence of her duties as the Steward’s wife becomes more and more pronounced as time goes on. Say what you will about Turgon’s wife’s sexual misdemeanours, but she made foreign ambassadors feel welcome (it can be argued that Ecthelion got his more liberal foreign policy from her) and she could be relied upon to provide a voice of reason and a guiding hand when conflicts arose with her husband. And Ecthelion’s wife may have been a shrinking violet, but she contributed to charitable endeavours and cultivated bonds with other noble houses through her friendship with the lords’ wives. As Finduilas increasingly retreated from public life, people would definitely have laid some of the blame at her door, dismissing her as fragile and incapable of living up to the challenges and responsibilities of her position. There was definitely a narrative going around of a spoiled, pretty young woman catching the eye of a man who is enchanted by her beauty only for them both to find out later that the other is not at all suited to them and consigning them both to misery. “It’s their own fault,” was definitely a phrase that did the rounds of Minas Tirith’s corners and corridors. Even Duinhir, who was a more generous interpreter of Finduilas’ situation, would have dismissed it as, “Well, she’s married to Denethor, that would make anyone miserable,” a take which, while one could argue it is correct, is still more about Denethor’s flaws than about Finduilas’ suffering.

In short, there are plenty of narratives going around about Finduilas and Denethor’s marriage. There’s the ever-staler propaganda wedding. There’s the precious princess who cannot cope with the rigours of political life. There’s the curse of the Stewards’ inability to have a pleasant marriage due to how annoying and unfuckable they are (Duinhir’s words. Specifically).

As for how they think things are going … Finduilas definitely knows that she is falling short of projecting the image of a good wife. She knows that she is shirking her duties and that, despite her best efforts, all she has the energy for is the bare bones of politeness and pleasant conversation. She can tell when she rebuffs lords and their wives’ attempts to engage her in conversation about politics and use her as a mouthpiece to Denethor that she is failing in her position as a cog in the political machine but she just cannot seem to find the will for it. She wants to tell them that she would be a poor patron for their cause. She’s struggling to win the fight over whether Boromir should be allowed to sleep in her bed when he has nightmares, so she can guarantee that her help would be of little use to them. She knows that her increasing reclusiveness is bad for the family image but she can’t seem to do anything about it. The idea that people might think she is unhappy in her marriage doesn’t really occur to her since she is more preoccupied with worrying about her failing image and, well, actually being unhappy in her marriage.

Denethor, on the other hand, is definitely worried about the public image of his marriage, but not in the same way. He has heard all about the scandal of his grandmother’s infidelities and is forever mortified by the evidence of his father’s own affairs, so the image of his marriage is a concern, but given that neither he nor Finduilas is involved in any extramarital affairs he would be inclined to call it a win. Of course, he does start to hear rumours about Finduilas’ unsuitability for her position and his utterly unmarriageable character (he knows Duinhir’s behind that one). The House of Húrin being the subject of gossip and speculation is exactly the sort of thing he does not want but he’s not going to dance and put on a show for a crowd of shallow, nosy old wives, so he resolves to continue to do his job as steward, father and husband according to his own principles. Unfortunately, while he’s great at the first one, he could do with listening to some criticism on the second two. (Although, as you may have noticed, the lords of Gondor's criticism is less than constructive.)

The year is 2978. After multiple failed pregnancies and much stress, your wife finally gives birth to a son. The Steward family finally has an heir! And he's adorable!

Except that damn Duinhir and his damn wife have not only had a son but a daughter as well. As if the last two years of them practically fusing into each other at public events has not been disgusting enough now Duinhir is going about the place armed with two red-faced abominations declaring Twins! A blessing from the gods! A sign that his line is favoured and his marriage is blessed!

The year is 2989. Your wife has died just a year ago, leaving you devastated, depressed and generally struggling to find the will to live. You are slowly beginning to pull yourself up, managing to get work done and have the energy to properly devote yourself to your job. I mean at least you got to have love in your life, that is a precious thing, particularly—

Duinhir wants a divorce. After forcing you to witness him practically climbing into his wife on multiple occasions the evil horny fucker that you are starting to think was sent from the gods to test you decides he wants a divorce. He's just going to throw out millennia of commitment to the sanctity of marriage like it's nothing because he's weak and spineless and also a cuckold. You somehow need to find a way to force two of the people you understand and like least in the world to stay together because if we start pulling on this thread the entire fabric of Gondorian social cohesion is going to—why the hell is he pulling out papers on divorce law? Since when is he literate?

The year is 2997. Things have been (relatively) scandal-free recently. Your beloved son Boromir has grown into a respectable man with great potential as a warrior and a leader. Duinhir got his divorce because he's a dumb bitch with no staying power and now he's in Minas Tirth even more, apparently purely so he can be a pain, but things are largely trundling along as they should, no major events .... oh no.

So Duinhir wants to get married again, which is literally the one thing worse than getting a divorce, despite the fact that he has three perfectly healthy, if abnormal, children. To make it worse, his future wife is Haradrim. Quick question: is this man's entire life goal to run Gondorian values into the dirt? Does he get some sort of cosmic award if he makes your eye pop out?

The year is 2999. Your niece is born. You're not that close with Imrahil but it is nice to finally have a girl in the family and she's very cute. The boys are very hyped about their new cousin, which is always a plus. Just a net win. Oh wait, he heard you didn't he?

Duinhir has had a fourth child. Yes, he is acting like it's a personal gift from the heavens. No, he does not seem concerned with how his first batch of children are eyeing the child suspiciously. Once more, you are more stressed about the political, social and interpersonal damages that Duinhir is doing to his family than he is. You begin wondering if it's too early to start tempting his eldest son with a swift coup to replace his clearly deranged father.