Jun 17, 2024
Alec: aren’t you lactose intolerant?
Jace: this isn’t lactose
Alec: jace, it’s MILK
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Alec: aren’t you lactose intolerant?
Jace: this isn’t lactose
Alec: jace, it’s MILK
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Magnus: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions.
Alec: Ridiculous. Give me some examples.
Simon: Wasps?
Jace: Ducks?
Magnus: Clary.
TSC characters as B99 quotes - 2
Jace: Just got off the phone with the Clave. It doesn't look good. They're still trying to decide on a punishment for your actions.
Simon: Well, did you tell them I feel so bad I have a tummy ache?
Jace: I did. They were unaffected.
Will, looking around: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.
Jem, used to him being dumb: Alright.
Will: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.
Jem: okay....
Will: Lasagne is spaghetti flavoured cake.
Jem:
Will: oblivious: Lobsters are mermaid
scorpion.
Jem: Okay, that one is-
Tessa, interested: No, no. Continue Will.
THE LAST HOURS AS VINES
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Matthew: hey guys I'm really sad
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James: is there anything better than p*ssy
James: yes, a really good book
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Christopher: look at this graph
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Matthew (to alastair): imma fuckin ripp your face off, bitch
Christopher: what did he do?
Matthew: cause he fuckin pushed me!
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Christopher: haha thAt is not cOrreCt
Christopher: because according to the encyclopedia of pdldkskoajd
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Matthew: people are constantly asking what it's like to be a sexy–
Matthew: *trips and falls*
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Charles: no off topic questions
Charles: because I don't want to
Charles: no that– no
Charles: permission denied
Charles: that's an off topic question, next
Charles: you have been stOPPed
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Cordelia: hey everyone today my brother pushed me so I started a kickstarter to put him down
Cordelia: the benefits of killing him would be I would get pushed way less
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Anna: hey I'm lesbian
Christopher: I thought you were american british
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Christopher: would you rather kill alastair or–
Matthew: yes. kill him.
Christopher: I didn't say the other–
Matthew: I don't need to hear it.
Alastair: feeling a little unsafe...
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Anna: oh so you're not coming to my tea party?
Anna: Cordelia, I MADE BISCUITS
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Matthew: I don't sing in the shower
Matthew: i PERFORM
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Alastair: stop saying I look like chicken little
Alastair: he's dumb and he's a coward
Alastair: and I'm NOT a coward
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Christopher: an avocado thanksss
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James and Cordelia: *kissing in the whispering room*
Matthew: wtf is this allowed
Matthew: wtf... is that allowed
Cordelia: stOp
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*the first time in the hell ruelle*
Malcolm: has anybody ever told you you look like beyoncé
Cordelia: nah they usually tell me I look like cordelia
Malcolm: who the fuck is that
Cordelia: me
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Alastair: oh hi thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garbage
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Matthew: so I'm sitting there, bbq sauce on my tiddies
James: *rolling on floor laughing*
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James: *shoots a chandelier with a pistol*
Lucie: THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN'T FUCKING LOVE YOU
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Matthew: Well, when life gives you lemons
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Thomas: road work ahead?
Thomas: uh yeah I sure hope it does
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Matthew: and just remember
Matthew: nobody is gonna hate you more than you already hate yourself
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Christopher: HEY HEY HEY
Thomas: shhh james is sleeping
Christopher, whispering: sorry
Thomas, also whispering: what's up?
Christopher, still whispering: there's a fire
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Lucie (about matthew and james): two bros chilling in a hot tub five feet apart cos they're not gay
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Matthew: oscar do you want the ball
Matthew: *throws ball into a tower of bottles*
Oscar: *jumps to catch the ball*
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James: uaAAAAHHH
Matthew: staaahhhp I coulda dropped my croissant
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jesse: *sneaking on tiptoes through the house*
jesse: *trips and falls* ah fuck
lucie: who's there???
jesse: nobody fuck off
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James (to Will): you are my daaad
James: you're my dad!
James: boogie woogie woogie
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Matthew: *is asleep*
James: *pours water bottle on matthews head*
Matthew: hello?
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James (to alastair): I'm about to say it
James: I don't care that you broke your elbow
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Matthew: hey guys good alternative to recycling
Matthew: when you're done with a glass bottle, eat it
Matthew: fuckin eat the bottle
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Christopher, with his newly invented weapon: don't fuck with me I have the power of God and anime on my side
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Cordelia: hi im renata bliss and I'm your freestyle dance teacher
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Matthew: two shots of vodka
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James: don't tell your mother
Grace: kiss one another
James: DIE FOR EACH OTHER
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Thomas: man do you have any shaving cream?
Christopher: nah I don't like the way that it tastes
Thomas: wait you eat shaving cream
Christopher: no why would I eat it if I don't like the taste
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Grace: I spilled lipstick in your valentino bag
Tatiana: you spilled– whdoahdhskhaha liPSTICK in my vALENTINO WHITE BAG
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lucie to cordelia: dude I've heard rumors that these stairs are like haunted
lucie: apparently some guy died here when he was like 9 or something
jesse: im 17 so shut the fuck up
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Jack: You couldn’t pay me to shut up because what I have to say is too interesting.
Bernard, already rolling up his sleeves: That’s okay, I can do it for you free of charge.
Raphael: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Ragnor: Several traffic violations.
Catarina: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Tessa: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Magnus: Also, that’s not our car.
shadowhunter characters as my sister's weird habits
Will: straight up screaming instead of laughing when met with something unexpectedly funny
Kit: napping in ridiculous places, like curled up on a foot-wide weight room bench or draped over a set of pull-up bars
Emma: Cursing out every person cutting her off on her way out of the school parking lot (the stoplight is ridiculously long and singlehandedly adds five minutes to the drive home)
Anna: Not really a habit but once asked me to wolf-whistle at her boyfriend for her because she couldn't do it loud enough (I couldn't either)
Alec: lying down fully horizontal on random surfaces like two bar stools or a tiny classroom desk
Kieran: consistently forgetting to close the bathroom door, inadvertently letting our cat in, where he takes the opportunity to shred our toilet paper
Matthew: opens the passenger window to scream across the car from the driver's seat at her boyfriend while driving
Jace: angrily bites down on the piano cover when she screws up while practicing
Clary: turns church sermons into one-page sketch collages