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Matthew: By the angel, I´m such a third wheel.
Anna, with Ari on her lap: Why do you say that?
Thomas, in the middle of kissing Alastair: You´re not a third wheel!
James, holding hands with Cordelia: That´s just ridiculous.
Matthew: Wow, you´re right, I take it back, I have ascended to the seventh wheel. I am truly a wonder.
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Thomas: Why are you so negative?
Alastair: negative is the new positive
Thomas: And with that Philosophy you go around, throwing unmotivating phrases at my friends?
Alastair: Oh, no. That I'm doing just because it's funny.
THE LAST HOURS AS VINES
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Matthew: hey guys I'm really sad
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James: is there anything better than p*ssy
James: yes, a really good book
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Christopher: look at this graph
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Matthew (to alastair): imma fuckin ripp your face off, bitch
Christopher: what did he do?
Matthew: cause he fuckin pushed me!
----------------
Christopher: haha thAt is not cOrreCt
Christopher: because according to the encyclopedia of pdldkskoajd
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Matthew: people are constantly asking what it's like to be a sexy–
Matthew: *trips and falls*
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Charles: no off topic questions
Charles: because I don't want to
Charles: no that– no
Charles: permission denied
Charles: that's an off topic question, next
Charles: you have been stOPPed
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Cordelia: hey everyone today my brother pushed me so I started a kickstarter to put him down
Cordelia: the benefits of killing him would be I would get pushed way less
--------------
Anna: hey I'm lesbian
Christopher: I thought you were american british
---------------
Christopher: would you rather kill alastair or–
Matthew: yes. kill him.
Christopher: I didn't say the other–
Matthew: I don't need to hear it.
Alastair: feeling a little unsafe...
---------------
Anna: oh so you're not coming to my tea party?
Anna: Cordelia, I MADE BISCUITS
----------------
Matthew: I don't sing in the shower
Matthew: i PERFORM
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Alastair: stop saying I look like chicken little
Alastair: he's dumb and he's a coward
Alastair: and I'm NOT a coward
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Christopher: an avocado thanksss
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James and Cordelia: *kissing in the whispering room*
Matthew: wtf is this allowed
Matthew: wtf... is that allowed
Cordelia: stOp
------------------
*the first time in the hell ruelle*
Malcolm: has anybody ever told you you look like beyoncé
Cordelia: nah they usually tell me I look like cordelia
Malcolm: who the fuck is that
Cordelia: me
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Alastair: oh hi thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garbage
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Matthew: so I'm sitting there, bbq sauce on my tiddies
James: *rolling on floor laughing*
------------------
James: *shoots a chandelier with a pistol*
Lucie: THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN'T FUCKING LOVE YOU
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Matthew: Well, when life gives you lemons
------------------
Thomas: road work ahead?
Thomas: uh yeah I sure hope it does
------------------
Matthew: and just remember
Matthew: nobody is gonna hate you more than you already hate yourself
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Christopher: HEY HEY HEY
Thomas: shhh james is sleeping
Christopher, whispering: sorry
Thomas, also whispering: what's up?
Christopher, still whispering: there's a fire
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Lucie (about matthew and james): two bros chilling in a hot tub five feet apart cos they're not gay
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Matthew: oscar do you want the ball
Matthew: *throws ball into a tower of bottles*
Oscar: *jumps to catch the ball*
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James: uaAAAAHHH
Matthew: staaahhhp I coulda dropped my croissant
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jesse: *sneaking on tiptoes through the house*
jesse: *trips and falls* ah fuck
lucie: who's there???
jesse: nobody fuck off
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James (to Will): you are my daaad
James: you're my dad!
James: boogie woogie woogie
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Matthew: *is asleep*
James: *pours water bottle on matthews head*
Matthew: hello?
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James (to alastair): I'm about to say it
James: I don't care that you broke your elbow
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Matthew: hey guys good alternative to recycling
Matthew: when you're done with a glass bottle, eat it
Matthew: fuckin eat the bottle
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Christopher, with his newly invented weapon: don't fuck with me I have the power of God and anime on my side
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Cordelia: hi im renata bliss and I'm your freestyle dance teacher
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Matthew: two shots of vodka
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James: don't tell your mother
Grace: kiss one another
James: DIE FOR EACH OTHER
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Thomas: man do you have any shaving cream?
Christopher: nah I don't like the way that it tastes
Thomas: wait you eat shaving cream
Christopher: no why would I eat it if I don't like the taste
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Grace: I spilled lipstick in your valentino bag
Tatiana: you spilled– whdoahdhskhaha liPSTICK in my vALENTINO WHITE BAG
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lucie to cordelia: dude I've heard rumors that these stairs are like haunted
lucie: apparently some guy died here when he was like 9 or something
jesse: im 17 so shut the fuck up
-------------------
If James and Grace didn't have history I swear they would for real Get each other in a unique way. They're, like, the only dry, deadpan-darkest-humour people in the whole group. We know Grace is the sitting-alone-in-the-corner friend so James would totally take a few minutes to check in and Be Kind, as he always is, and next think you know they're snorting about something with vine energy until James looks up and starts simping for Cordelia again. Like I don't know, James and Grace have the unexplored potential for the meme-culture, alcohol-and-trauma-jokes friendship. Idk.
Thomas: I like my women the way i like my coffee
Thomas: I’m British
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Lucie, pointing to herself: sly fox
Lucie, pointing to James: dumb bunny
James: i am not a dumb bunny
Lucie: right, and that’s not wet cement
Matthew: Thomas has been working out a lot lately, I wonder what he needs to be so strong for
...
Thomas thinking to himself: I’m gonna be so good at hugging
jesse: *holding the door open for lucie*
lucie: and they say chivalry is dead.
