#impulsivity

581: impulsive BPD, or BPD impulsivity

[PT: 581: impulsive BPD, or BPD impulsivity /end PT]

DEFINITION ⦂⠀Someone with BPD, who is impulsive, or is impulsive because of BPD.

Yes, this includes the impulsive "subtype" (Idk the word) of BPD!

ADDITIONAL ⦂⠀Coined on the 23rd of December, 2025. Colourpicked from bpdflag (Tumblr link).

TAGGING ⦂⠀@c1rcus-of-silliness @pdsarchive @radiomogai @scarmogai

It's just the same topics over and pver for years and it seems like never changes, in fact, it just gets worse, first was executive dysfunction, after rsd, now impulsivity, the more i notice adhd symptoms i hate myself more, asking why can't i just do shit, why can't i read, why cant i watch what i like, learn new instruments, languages, and the same things ive been complaining for years and years. And now there is this RSD bitch up my ass constantly making me think my friends hate me because i said the wrong thing due to impulsivity, i feel ashamed of every step and i feel wrong every single time, it's tiring, and i already don't have much friends to begin with, so losing these ones would break my heart, I would straight up just k1ll myself. And impulsivity its the worse, my money is down because i spend way to much on food, i eat a lot, more than necessary, even whrn there is other people to eat, this fucking condition is a torture, I can't do whatever i want always guided by instincts i can't control, emotionally broken, mentally broken, just broken, man, i hate adhd so much.

And also i don't have friends, im isolated, i don't identify even with my closest friends, i feel constantly at odds with everyone, even myself, it was hard already making these friends i have now, it would be way worse these days becauze I can't talk to anyone, my tastes are too specific and I don't know anybody who likes what i like the way that i like, i feel like a broken piece every time.

Im also in groundhog day, every day is the same, now that im unemployed i stay home and clean, don't have money to go out, don't know what to do out, its constant torture

iMPULSiVE SARCASTiC

[PT: Impulsive sarcastic. End PT]

“ DEF ;; A flag for people who are impulsive sarcastics; sarcastic due to impulse; impulsively sarcastic. Essentially, their impulse reaction to things is sarcasm. ”

In a train, a friend of mine comforted me saying that I am not stupid, I just don't think things through.

Realizing that, I was very confident that I will learn and do better in the future.

Next day, my packet arrived at my place. The good girl I am, it was a Valentine's present for my fiance, who lives outside town.

I just forgot: it was a fucking DISHWASHER!

Of course the "opposite" is also true, a thought that seems horrifying that doesn't bother you isn't intrusive - most people actually have occasional "what if I violently murdered that person" moments, for example, but most people also just go "huh that's fucked up, anyways".

But a lot of people will see people who are in all likelihood misusing the term "intrusive thoughts" and talking about "letting them win" and say, "that's not intrusive, that's impulsive" and... you know a thought can be both, right?

Like, as an example, my parents moralized the symptoms of my untreated ADHD, specifically, my impulsivity. They also financially abused me, so they especially moralized impulsive spending - whether or not said spending was actually a real potential financial issue for me. Something as simple as borrowing $20 from a friend and paying them back in a week was grounds for severe emotional abuse, especially.

So often, my thoughts about impulsively making purchases are intrusive, because they cause the same guilt and shame spiral and fixation as any of my violent intrusive thoughts.

It's also worth noting that at the intersection of "impulsive intrusive thought" and "not objectively horrifying thought", sometimes actually doing the thing is exactly what you need to do to NOT "let it win" (as in, get caught up in the shame spiral). Showing yourself that it's okay to think and even act on the harmless stuff can be effectively the same as resisting a compulsion or reminding yourself that the intrusive thoughts about harm aren't actions - as someone who has dealt with all three.

Obviously, it depends. It's still best to try to avoid buying yourself something that will financially destabilize you, for example, but if you want to impulsively buy a $5 keychain, for a good portion of people doing so is not only harmless but can help prove to our brains that we're not "bad" for doing so.

(This won't work for everyone, but it's helped me. Heck, even making small "bad" financial decisions which had low impact consequences has helped me learn to distinguish between "I'm a bad person for this" and "my actions have natural consequences and deciding if the consequences are worth it is something I have the right to do".)