May be far-fetched but I seriously hope someone does this in Cloudward Ho

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May be far-fetched but I seriously hope someone does this in Cloudward Ho

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Immovable Rod (Forgotten Realms Commander) - Jakub Kasper
More cards with art by Jakub Kasper on Scryfall
Smash or Pass - Immovable Rod
Smash
Pass
Imagine an immovable rod that doesn't lock relative to earth. You cut it on and it just flies away at Mach fuck because of how fast the earth is moving through space

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AHHH Im looking for that DnD meme of someone holding an immovable rod on a train (its a deep friend Family Guy pic) can someone find it for me i cant find it anywhere D:
DM: The gods hand you an immovable rod and a piece of goose down.
Billie (gnome ardent): Hanako, can you check my feather for magic?
Hanako (kitsune bard): *glares*
DM: Itβs thoroughly non-magical.
Hanako: *glares harder*
Magic Item: Immovable Meat Rod
Wondrous Minor Item, Uncommon
This stainless steel rod is approximately 1 foot long and an inch thick, and its surface is covered in small dimples. In its inactive state, there is a button on one end of the rod. When the button is pressed, a random meat (consult the meat table below) immediately covers the entirety of the rod and emits a wet slapping sound. The active rod now behaves as an Immovable Rod with the following additional properties: Once activated, the button's location on the rod shifts to a random spot on the rod and cannot be found until all the meat has been removed from the rod, which takes 1 action. There is enough meat on the rod to feed one medium creature for a day, should it be able to consume the meat. The rod may be activated and deactivated an unlimited number of times per day, but the meat is randomly-determined after every activation.
Meat Table (d12)
01. Monster (Rotten) 02. Fish (Rotten) 03. Reptile (Rotten) 04. Mammal (Rotten) 05. Reptile (Raw) 06. Fish (Raw) 07. Mammal (Raw) 08. Fowl (Raw) 09. Reptile (Cooked) 10. Fish (Cooked) 11. Fowl (Cooked) 12. Mammal (Cooked)